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stationed in MT having the wedding in IN!

Wyatt1988Wyatt1988
in Military Brides
PLEASE HELP!
My fiancee and I are having our wedding in Indiana where all of our family  lives. We will be coming back to Montana right after the wedding! We have decided to NOT register for any gifts, because we would have to pay to get them sent to Montana!
What is a polite way for describe this on an invitation!?? We have 500 people invited, if we get gifts that would cost us a fortune to send everything!
We could ask for gift cards to Walmart or Target, but we could like to just askfor cash?? ahh i dont know what to do and i def dont want to look rude!!!
PLEASE HELP! ANY SUGGESTIONS??
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Re: stationed in MT having the wedding in IN!

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    eskamoeskamo
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    sorry, but any way you say "give me money" is going to be rude. There are tons of posts and discussions about this on the Etiquette board. I really think you should just register and graciously accept any gifts you two receive. Figure out something from there.

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    Marcia1215Marcia1215 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You would definitely look rude if you asked for cash. I am sure most of you guests know your situation and will hopefully either send you a gift to your home in MT or give you cash or a gift card anyway.
    If you do decide to register just register for items that are not heavy and will not cost a lot to ship, like sheets, towels etc.
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    meltoinemeltoine member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Not being registered is self-explanatory. Be prepared though, because many people prefer to give actual gift, especially for a shower. Like PP said, when you register online you can list the shipping address as your home in MT, and most of the gifts will go there. 
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    AfrostygirlAfrostygirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm in the same sort of situation, but I'm living in North Carolina and having our wedding in California. I tried to politely explain we didn't want to recieve any gifts at the wedding because we had no way to ge them home. We decided not to register, so I'm just hoping that people will respect that. I also told both our parents to kind of spread the word to family and friends as best they could. Coming from them it sounds more polite.
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    fallingobsessionfallingobsession
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah... We're having the same problem, except FH is stationed in GERMANY. People keep asking where we're registered though (and if they can throw a shower), so apparently, it hasn't quite clicked in people's minds that shipping ANYTHING (even something small or light) would cost quite literally a FORTUNE. And everybody KNOWS he's in Germany - he has been for 2 years already - and WILL be in Germany for quite a while still.  But with us... even gift cards won't be of any use. He's in Germany for 2 more years, so cash is really the only thing that will actually help us... I'm just hoping people understand that. We're not even having a Honeymoon since we had to worry about getting me to Germany. I made a link on our website about our LACK of honeymoon due to moving to Germany. So I'm hoping the people who see that will understand... And for everybody else... I'm hoping it gets around by word of mouth. ESPECIALLY when they find out we aren't registered somewhere.
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    KimL23KimL23 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My friend and her husband were in the same situation, the were from Nebraska but he was stationed in California. They got all their gifts and actually returned them in Nebraska. They got a store credit and when they went back to CA, they went to the same store and bought everything back. The employees were very understanding and they mentioned this happens often. Just an option I wanted to share with you :)

    (Are you and your FI at Malstrom? We just PCS'ed to Minot in ND)
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    catemegcatemeg
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's a tricky situation, because telling people what to give as a gift is always tricky.

    Do you have a wedding website?  It's a little less rude to have registry stuff on a website than an invitation, and most of your guests are likely to check it.  Under the registry links, you could put a quick note saying something along the lines of "If you wish to send anything to the Bride and Groom, please mail it to their address in Montana" with the address below.  It's hard to phrase it so it doesn't sound like, "send me gifts" but "anything" could refer to cards, I suppose.  Hopefully people will get the idea.

    Also, I like the idea of registering in places where you could return it in one location and buy it again in the new location.

    Let your parents, immediate family, and close friends know the situation so they can pass the word.

    I do think most people mail gifts now adays - it might be different where you are, but most of the weddings I've been to have a very small gift table since most of the gifts are either cash or have been sent at another time.
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