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mother in law

metsfan5metsfan5 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Moms and Maids
ok i love my future mother in law! but she is making a list of guest and so far she has over 175 people on her list and she isnt done yet how do i kindly stop her from invitng everyone in town!!




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Re: mother in law

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Is she paying or are you and your FI paying?  If she is paying for the wedding then she can invite whomever she likes because she is the host of the party.  If it is you and your FI who are paying for the wedding, then you need to decide how many guests your in-laws can invite (remember to keep your venues capacity in mind).  Once you give them a number they will need to whittle down their huge list.  I would honestly let your FI talk with them since they are his parents.  But if they are paying then you really don't get a say on who they ask.

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    ootmother2ootmother2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper

    Unless  she's picking up 100% of the tab, divide the guest list in thirds.

    one  third for parents of groom & friends
    one third for parents of bride and guests
    one third for bride and groom & friends

    GL

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    em01092em01092 member
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    Ditto PPs. Ask them for a wish guest list or tell them they must keep it under X number of people, unless they are paying (then they get much more of a say). Then if they go over that number, you're within your rights to make cuts, again unless they are paying. 

    If things get ugly and she pitches a fit, definitely let your FI handle it. 


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    metsfan5metsfan5 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    thanks guys lots of help Laughing
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    angelinamarie919angelinamarie919 member
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    I agree especially with having your FI be the one to step up and deal with her since its his mom.
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    asiriusoneasiriusone
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    Maybe you could ask her to put her list in groups.  She may not realize the limits of the budget or venue and should be given an opportunity to revise her list.

    I was very aware of my son's and his FI's wishes and put my list in groups to try to help out.  The first group included family members that we should have at the minimum and  then the groups went out from there (I had six groups).  In matching with my son, those people in the most important group were the same as his.  All those on the following lists were to be invited only if there was room.  We have a large family and won't be able to accommodate all the aunts and uncles or the majority of cousins--only those that are closest to my son.
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