Wedding Loan (long, sorry!)

TriSaratops10 · January 2010

Hello ladies! I'm a long-time lurker, newish poster - Anyways, I am bringing up the "forbidden" topic of taking out a loan for a wedding - but under different circumstances than most, I think. Here are unique things about FI's and my position in life:
(1) FI is a physician (a 1st yr ENT resident right now) & I will be a physician in less than 3 months
(2) We both did military scholarships to pay for ALL of school
(3) As a newly commissioned officer I will be able to take out up to 25K with a VERY VERY low interest rate
(4) FI has already bought a condo; actually it's his 2nd condo (1st house bought outright with inheritance money) and the one we will live in together is well below what the Army will pay us for our housing allowance.

So we are both relatively debt-free with stable good incomes (well, him for now, but me very soon) with a condo and the ability to take out a low interest loan - is this justification enough for a loan since the interest rate would be lower than what it is on a credit card?? [[with the potential to sell his 2nd condo, we are waiting for the housing market to go up a little more]]

**sorry for the long post, I posted here b/c I am a student & thought you all would understand more of where I'm coming from

and TIA!!**

pooh8402 · January 2010

I still don't think it is, even under your circumstances. it is ONE DAY and it's stupid to go into debt for it, imo. if you cannot afford the wedding of your dreams now, postpone the wedding, or scale back your dream for one you can afford. the marriage is no less valid if you have to wear David's Bridal instead of Vera, or if you have BBQ buffet instead of plated filet mignon, or if you get married at the courthouse by the JOP instead of at the Plaza (channeling Bride Wars here).

the important part is not your WEDDING, it is the commitment you and your FI are making to each other.

SarahPLiz · January 2010

Please do not start your marriage by going into debt, no matter what the circumstances. Do you want to be paying for a one day party for a long time?

How about you postpone and save up enough for a wedding, or have one that you can afford?

kikibaby · January 2010

Since it sounds like you have very few expenses, it shouldn't be that difficult for you to just save up money for the wedding. It's absolutely ridiculous to go into debt for a wedding. If you *must* do it now, do what you can afford.

For a soon-to-be-physician, you don't sound very smart here.

janedoe1113a · January 2010

Still a horrible idea. You should not go into debt for a one day party.

pooh8402 · January 2010

"(4) FI has already bought a condo; actually it's his 2nd condo (1st house bought outright with inheritance money) and the one we will live in together is well below what the Army will pay us for our housing allowance."

omg, I missed this the first time around. yall own TWO homes, and you want to take out a loan for a one day party? and one of the homes was bought with inheritance money???? yall are so. poor. wow. I feel like I need to send the Salvation Army to your house (which one?) or something.

betrothed123 · January 2010

As everyone has said, there is absolutely no good reason to go into debt over a party. If you're in such a good financial position right now it shouldn't take you long to save up the money to throw the wedding you want. Then you can pay off any credit cards that you might use immediately to avoid any interest charges, and continue to not be in debt.

ricksang · January 2010

Don't take out a loan for your wedding. You will regret it.

nda_roxybabe · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_wedding-loan-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:5697fa67-5fa6-403a-ae33-856d95227360Post:d0093f00-6b93-4419-9d01-1118762d0fd4">Wedding Loan (long, sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello ladies! I'm a long-time lurker, newish poster - Anyways, I am bringing up the "forbidden" topic of taking out a loan for a wedding - but under different circumstances than most, I think. Here are unique things about FI's and my position in life: (1) FI is a physician (a 1st yr ENT resident right now) & I will be a physician in less than 3 months (2) We both did military scholarships to pay for ALL of school (3) As a newly commissioned officer I will be able to take out up to 25K with a VERY VERY low interest rate (4) FI has already bought a condo; actually it's his 2nd condo (1st house bought outright with inheritance money) and the one we will live in together is well below what the Army will pay us for our housing allowance. So we are both relatively debt-free with stable good incomes (well, him for now, but me very soon) with a condo and the ability to take out a low interest loan - is this justification enough for a loan since the interest rate would be lower than what it is on a credit card?? [[with the potential to sell his 2nd condo, we are waiting for the housing market to go up a little more]] **sorry for the long post, I posted here b/c I am a student & thought you all would understand more of where I'm coming from and TIA!!**
Posted by TriSaratops10[/QUOTE]

You will regret doing this.

Can't you cut back some things so you can afford your wedding outright?
Justify and say your situation is different and unique all you want...it's still an awful idea.

ggmae · January 2010

Being able to pay for your entire wedding in full with your OWN money is a great feeling. It's a lot less stressful than having to worry about paying back a loan - and interest is interest, no matter the rate.

shellydiane820 · January 2010

That is a horrible idea. None of your reasons are good enough to go into debt for a wedding. You should save your money or do what you can afford. Its stupid ideas like this that got our country into the pickle we're in today.

sucrets4 · January 2010

Ditto everyone.

And the fact that you're coming to internet strangers to try and justify yourself shows that you really don't think it's okay deep down inside.

Mryan209 · January 2010

Yeahh. I have a friend that just graduated med school through the military (army, specifically). He makes FAR above what most residents out of med school make. You just provided a great list of reasons for why you SHOULDN'T take out a loan. If you have no debt, why can't you save up for the nice wedding you just have to have?

bel138 · January 2010

You should just count your blessings that you guys, as residents, have not one, but two homes and no debt. Obviously, you understand the value of that if you both went military.

RachNRich · January 2010

I have a feeling that you will return to this thread (or already have) and feel as if everyone hear has just squashed your dreams to have a pretty-princess day.

But, FFS, please---think about what you are proposing to do here. People take out loans for houses, and cars. Not weddings.

I really hate when people come on the knot and ask if something is "okay" to do--because, let's be honest here, if you have to ask us if we think it's "okay" or "right"--I have a feeling you already know the answer.

september's bride · January 2010

I had a 3-year long engagement because I was a student and saving money. I could have had a 6-month engagement if I had taken out a loan, but I would still be paying for the stupid wedding. That, in my opinion, is a ridiculous thing to do.

squirrly · January 2010

If you have auto loans with average interest rates, it might be less expensive in the long run for you to take out the military loan and pay off the car(s) with it. But, to use it to pay for a party. . . nah. I know how low the interest on those things are - FI has talked about all the people who did just what you're talking about that he knows. Honestly, most of them were divorced before the loan was paid off.

Again - if you can convert higher interest debt with it, then it may very well be worth it. Anything else - not so much.

shellydiane820 · January 2010

She's probably going to do it anyway. Why bother.

agk0125 · January 2010

I haven't read all the responses, but how could you seriously consider going into debt for ONE DAY when you've managed to stay debt free through all of school and even buying a condo! Do you realize how many people would kill to be in that position? Instead of realizing how lucky you are and planning a wedding within your means you want to add yourself to the neverending list of young people in debt. UGH.

hetshup · January 2010

OP-- If that loan is what I'm thinking it is, you might want to contact the company. I believe they have free financial advice. The advisors can look at everything and make sure that you will be in good shape... Just an FYI.

TriSaratops10 · January 2010

I do value all of your responses and have read them all - I just couldn't see them until tonight because the internet was down in my apartment building.

Yes, we are both blessed with great futures and we are in great positions as being relatively debt-free after going through so much schooling. We are also fortunate to start making more money as residents than most.

We have dated through depolyments and long distance (FI was enlisted Army for years before going to medical school) for awhile now, so that is one reason why we want to have the wedding soon. The other is my grandparents have health issues that make us concerned they won't be with us much longer and it means the world to me for them to be there.

I actually hadn't crunched the numbers based on my future salary or FI's salary to see how much we could save up - this whole loan thing was something I was just thinking about. However, this afternoon, I sat down and looked at the pay charts (anyone with any experience in the Army knows how confusing those are and with medical officers they are even more complex) and figured out how we can save enough and live comfortably.

I wasn't about to run out and take the money out - I was just thinking of it as one of my options - albeit not an attractive option, but with the low interest and the fact that I could pay it off very quickly once I started making money I thought it was a valid option. I was just throwing it out there and was absolutely planning on talking to a financial advisor and scrutinizing our income carefully. Sorry to have neglected mentioning this.

Thank you again for your responses I have an appointment with a financial advisor tomorrow; so I'll have all of my ducks in a row.

FYI - about the 2nd condo - yes FI is very fortunate it was $ that he received from his Uncle dying in Iraq & the subsequent selling of his farm.

EDIT: internet froze, had to finish

JessWG · January 2010

I've got to agree with everyone here. I am in a totally different situation - we can live comfortably on our salaries while making the minimum payments on our debts and living in a rural 2 bedroom apartment; but we are choosing to live off of spaghetti, no cable, no date nights, no soda, etc. so that we can get the hell out of debt [completely] by the time we're 30.

Our LIFE is what is important, not our DAY. We are still spending on our day, but we've saved for it and are spending less than $8k total.

Please, do yourself a favor and live a happy debt free life. It is so NOT worth it for the day.

BlondeBride88 · January 2010

My FI's mom was a pediatrician and was diagnosed with MS and later myeloma. So, while she and his dad both thought they were "set," they really weren't. They overspent (not on their wedding, but same message). She was forced to retire. They had medical bills to pay, student loans, credit card payments...

Life happens.

Don't risk it!

Wedding Loan (long, sorry!)

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