Ok...I am officially freaking out! We are planning on having a tiny family only wedding and a slightly larger reception where we will be inviting our close friends and their children. I am panicking bc I just read a bunch of posts on the etiquette board saying how horribly rude this is. I have been invited to plenty of weddings where I was only invited to the reception and never thought anything of it but I dont want to totally offend anyone! Do I need to rethink our wedding plan and invite everyone to both the wedding and reception? Sorry...I am too scared to post on the etiquette board. You ladies are much nicer, even if you disagree with what I am planning.
:)AJ

Re: HELP!
"please join us for our wedding reception following our private ceremony"
obviously I just made that up, but you can creep around on the etiqutte boards for something more specific and well written.
I personally would find this very strange as I have never been to a wedding like this, but if it is the norm in your region or circle of friends, then I doubt anyone would be offended.
I would be a little peeved if I got an invitation for the reception only. It's basically like saying: you're not good enough to come and watch the part where we actually get married, but you're good enough to bring a gift to the party. KWIM?
[QUOTE]By family only I mean my dad, my brother, my aunt and uncle, FI's mom, his 2 brothers, his aunt and uncle our 2 daughters, our ring bearer and his parents. Thats it. The reception and ceremony are in two different places (two different cities actuallys) and are 2 hours apart. I am going to have to discuss more with FI. I really feel like we should just invite everyone but I know that is not what he wants to do.
Posted by ajmom2two[/QUOTE]
Okay, this wouldn't be too bad IMO. Your ceremony would be very small and the distance thing does help. But I would still try to get your FI to agree to let everyone come to the ceremony. Again, it just doesn't make sense to me to be okay with entertaining a large crowd all night, but to not want a large crowd (of people I'm assuming you love) watch you actually get married for 30 minutes or so.
If you kept it to, say, just your parents, fiance's parents, and your children, I think this would work and could truly be considered a "private ceremony." But going out much farther into your family could make for some sticky situations, IMO, as it isn't really private if aunts and uncles are coming.
I just don't want you to hurt any of your guests' feelings, I know that isn't your intention, but I am afraid people would feel that way (especially if they know someone or are related to someone who is being included in the ceremony)
[QUOTE]I have no idea really...its just his preference so that really was our compromise.
Posted by ajmom2two[/QUOTE]
I would mention to him your (and our) concerns about hurting people's feelings and see what he says. Like you, he might not have even thought about that aspect. He might change his mind if he thinks he will upset people.
Ditto celgare's post: It's basically like saying: you're not good enough to come and watch the part where we actually get married, but you're good enough to bring a gift to the party. KWIM?