I need some advice on how to talk to FI about an issue. You guys know that we've put off wedding planning, yadda yadda yadda until we get re-class results, hopefully before the new year. Even before that, it was always really hard to get a bead on what FI wanted from any sort of ceremony we wanted. Granted, we were only engaged about 6 weeks before we decided to postpone the planning, so we hadn't gotten very far.
Lately FI has had babies on the brain hardcore. To be fair, so do I. I'll turn 28 just after the new year, and I know that isn't really old, but both of us want a larger family (at least 2, possibly 4 or 5 kids), so that puts us in a little bit of a time crunch before I feel like things might become difficult or unsafe or at the least so I'm not pregnant for most of 10 years. We've decided to start TTC as soon as we're married, there's not a great reason to wait for us. Lately, I feel like he wants to start now, and I'm just not up for that. I'm no sexual conservative by any means, but I really feel like, at least for insurance purposes, we need to wait til things are ironed out.
I think he's feeling this way because his parents got married because his Mom got knocked up. They were both enlisted AF, his Dad was higher ranking, and basically they got married so no one would get in trouble. They had originally planned to divorce once FI was born, but they ended up falling in love, building a life, and having FI's little brother, They've been married almost 25 years. It's a sweet story, in its way, but it means that he has no real idea of what it looks like to date, get engaged, plan a wedding, and then start the family thing. He doesn't have any high-school friends who are doing it (homeschooling, and pretty cut off), he doesn't know a lot of his family, and his college friends haven't reached that point yet.
I think he thinks that if I just get knocked up, that it'll make all the decisions easier because they will happen faster. And I'm not ready to be "that girl." Even at 28, even with a super supportive family who love FI, me getting knocked up and then married would, I think, really disappoint my Mom and Dad, as well as my grandmother. I think I would also be really disappointed in myself. I'm on BC, so I'm not too stressed that anything will happen, I'm just really feeling torn, on one hand, I'd love to start that part of my life, and on the other, much more rational hand, I know that's a very bad idea.
We've talked about it before, and I've even brought up the whole, "You know, I don't have to be pregs for us to plan this thing," even before we got engaged. I don't even know what advice I'm asking for, I think I just needed to get this out there. I don't have a lot of people I can talk to about this, so thanks if you waded through.
