::Wedding Meltdown:: - Major Vent

twinkle82576 · March 2011

It hit me like a truck yesterday... my wedding is in six months, and there's still so much to do and pay for, that I'm completely overwhelmed. I was driving to the dentist yesterday, in tears, thinking about this. All I could think of was how if I could go back and start all over, I would 100% not do a wedding. Just elope and move on with my life.

I'm very, very nervous that we won't be able to pull it all together in time. I feel stretched thin with everything we're paying for. FI and I are 98% paying for the wedding, we're moving, paying my student loans, and not to mention all the other day to day bills. I just wish I can take it all back. I'm so unhappy with this wedding right now.

I've done everything I can to keep costs down... DIYed as much as possible, cut the guest list in half, switched to a midmorning/noon wedding, no DJ/dancing, no videographer...

Ugh!!! I just had to let it out. I don't like to bother FI with these things, and I hate talking to friends about my wedding, I feel like they don't care and don't want to hear it.

mich2412 · March 2011

I completely feel your pain and I'm so sorry you're feeling like this!! The money situation is terrible, I know, but try telling yourself that people do this all the time and somehow don't end up on the streets. You WILL be okay and everything will work out, just try to take it one day at a time. I also understand what you mean about not being able to vent to anyone, I feel like my friends don't care/understand either and FI is a very happy-go-lucky, fly by the seat of his pants kindo f guy so it's useless to talk to him about these things. Good thing is we're here to read your vents and willing to help in any way possible! Just hang in there and in the end it will be worth it because you will have the memories for the rest of your life and that is priceless!

Jessica & Mark Andrew · March 2011

I had one of these meltdowns too and it's what made me push back my wedding for an entire year. Just like you, I constantly say I wished I would've eloped.

Just take a deep breath and relax. Take it one day at a time, it'll pass. Hope you feel better.

waterroxy17 · March 2011

Sorry this is happening to you! Just know you are not alone in this.. many of us have the same thing to deal with. We are all here to support each other.
Maybe sit down with FI and see how you can budget and do a timeline.
I may be OCD but, I do one every week.. so I make sure everything is on track.

quiggels219 · March 2011

Ugh I'm so sorry your'e feeling so stressed and down about it

I don't really know what to say exactly except I think 6 months is a good amount of time and from what I have seen on the knot you have some really great DIY ideas that people will love - I was actually using my lunch break today to go use a Michaels coupon and buy letters like yours to paint! Totally copying you - Same word and everything!
I knwo you said you don't think your friends care and that really sucks - but we all do - it's so great having a place you can come and vent right? This may be weird cause we've never met but if you need help with some DIY stuff I'm kinda crafty, maybe we could make a knottie G2G to help you put stuff together?? with wine and maritinis! haha I really would do it if it would make ou feel better cause this should be a basically happy exciting time! and i know youre just having a freak out which is totally normal during any stressful period but the offers out there

WeAreGs · March 2011

Sorry you're going through this but I totally understand where you're coming from.

The other night I could not sleep because all I kept thinking about was how FI was right and we should have picked up and eloped or had something extremely small here at home. I get anxious and jittery thinking of it.

But in the end, as Michelle said, I tell myself that others have done it and everything turned out ok. You will be fine, it will be fine, and you will have the best day of your life that day.

Vent away, it definitely helps, and here is even better bc FIs never understand.

cmp1986 · March 2011

Sorry sweetie!!! I feel this exact same way like every other day. I get a head start on saving for the wedding and some expense comes up and kicks me back like 5 steps. I can't talk to FI about it, he's just like "Why are you so upset? Stop worrying so much." I always tell him it's not that easy. Men just don't get that we worry enough as is, but then when you put a wedding into it and money, it just makes it 5 billion times worse. So keep your head up honey!!! We are here for you. Is there anyone you could as to help chip in just alittle?

jdanger · March 2011

We're totally with you. I've been randomly crying all the time lately. My FI is frustrated because there is nothing he can really do about it (it's all budget limitations and stuff). I don't feel like I can talk to my friends and family about it. We're so overbudget and so much still left to plan. I'm only 3 months out! And when I do so anything to friends or family they say to just go overbudget because "it's your wedding and it's one day" but hey who is paying for it?.... my FI and I. I've been on the knot a lot more lately and it's comforting knowing that we're not alone in this but it's still overwhelming. My FI and I talk everyday about eloping.

But keep in mind that 6 months is plenty of time and we're here to help however we can.

Ktrudel · March 2011

Trust me, I've had many meltdowns about the same thing, but in the end it's about you and your FI, nothing else matters. If someone does not like your decorations, food, etc. who cares. This is your day so make it about you and your future husband. Take a few days to yourself to do something fun, not wedding related, to clear your mind, trust me it helps. Also, talk with you FI about your feelings, etc. I'm 4 months away from my wedding and are finally getting things together, so you can plan a wedding in no time at all, trust me! Hope your days get better.

Krysta6 · March 2011

I think these freakouts are normal. Sometimes it feels like there is so much to do. Don't forget deep breathes it will all work out the way it is supposed to and you will be married to a wonderful man in the end. I agree with PP's suggestion of taking a day or 2 off to have some fun. Sometimes it helps calm me from the feelings of wanting to run like hell from the wedding!

Rainbow17 · March 2011

Hang in there! I know thats easy to say, and harder to do, but just know that you have lots of support, and we are all going through this together. We don't live in times anymore where the father-of-the-bride pays for the wedding. Now-a-days most couples pay for their own wedding, and for a couple thats just starting out or still in school its an overwhelming amount of money! You still have six months and also keep in mind many people start planning their entire wedding in six months. You have time.

Take a deep breath, create a timeline and budget of your remainging things. And personally, I would try to skimp out on little things like favors, stds, etc.

We're all here if you need us. Good Luck!

twinkle82576 · March 2011

OMG you girls are absolutely amazing!!!

I feel soooooo much better!!! Thank youuu for your kind words of encouragement.

I know that if I change a few things up, bring things down a little, skip a few things, it will all work out, but still, no matter how I put it, all I think is, ugh, I can't believe we're spending this on just one day. Nothing will get outta my head that this is a big waste of money. Maybe when the day is here and I'm super happy... I'm sure I'll feel differently that day, but for now, I'm just down about it.

But I know I'm not alone in feeling like this. I just feel like we've bit off more than we can chew.

Thanks Girls!!!

EvelynandManny · March 2011

trust me i TOTALLY feel what you are saying..i went through the same thing.. i panicked so much and it got worse..we moved a month before the wedding too so that was a big hit for us it was horrible...i ended up taking out the open bar (it worked out great anyways ppl still drank and danced and no one complained..infact they kept buying us drinks lol) ....figure out what you really want and what is not so important and go from there..in the end it WILL all work out..and remember you will get some of the money back in gifts so you'll be ok

KAM3899 · March 2011

You certainly came to the right place to vent! I think we're all in the same boat, and its so much easier to talk to people that understand exactly what you're going through! My feelings on my wedding literally change on a minute to minute basis. I go from "omg, i can't believe we're spending THIS MUCH on a few hours" to "it's a once in a lifetime event, do it right and spend whatever is needed"! I constantly am second guessing whether or not having a full blown wedding was the right idea. My FI thinks I'm crazy at times and like of the girls said, is a "fly by the seat of his pants" kinda guy. He can't understand why I'm not having fun with wedding planning. It's very frusterating, but I'll also agree with everyone that taking a few days off to be back to your happy,bright self (pre-wedding chaos!) will really help to refresh you.

twinkle82576 · March 2011

You girls are awesome. Seriously!!!

Evelyn, as you know, we're venue twins... I have open bar also, and I can't imagine not having liquor at the wedding. Like, I would be pretty sad if I went to a wedding without liquor, so big props to you for cutting it out... but I'm seriously thinking of maybe removing the open bar and just doing beer and wine. Especially since it's a daytime wedding, all that liquor isn't really necessary right? Ugh, decisions, decisions.

Moonstar713 · March 2011

STEPH!!!

I'm sorry you're going through this!!! If you started doing a wedding TWICE there is a reason for it. It's because you want it so badly. If you just elope you are going to regret it because I know you want a wedding. Trust me I know it's hard, I had to cut corners left and right, and I don't have half the things most girls here have. But that's why i said, be content with what you have. I know my econimical status right now, neither FI and I are in our careers yet, so our budget was miniscule. If you need any help what so ever, please don't hesitate to message me on fb.

KIT!!! Cheer up everything will be great. And I would soooo take out the open bar

EvelynandManny · March 2011

yea i was really sad about taking out the open bar but like i said ppl didnt seem to mind they still drank it up... i was almost about to just put beer and wine but it all came down to the end and i didnt get to add it on so i just didnt have anything but i like the wine and beer (what most ppl drank anyways)..hey if they want something else they can always get it... or you can do sangria too wish is always nice at a day thing

anaroo87 · March 2011

Sorry you're feeling this way but you are definitely not alone. Weddings are crazy expensive and we all wish we could have more but it just isn't possible. If it makes you feel any better ... I'm so over budget and in COMPLETE denial about it. When all my payments are due in 2-3 weeks I literally have no clue how I will pay for them. I broke down the other day thinking about what will happen when these vendors go to charge the balances and suddenly my credit cards just get maxed out. It's awful. Oh, you know what the cherry on top is? I was looking forward to doing my taxes and getting my nice refund like I do every year ... Well this year, I OWE taxes!! $800 to be exact and I'm wondering if this money is just going to fall out of the sky and land in my lap because I don't know where I'll pull it out of.

As for your bar situation... I think it would be TOTALLY fine to have beer and wine only for a day wedding. I don't think anyone would thinkg any less of it. If you have the option of Sangrias, that would be nice but the beer and wine is doable.

::Wedding Meltdown:: - Major Vent

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