Getting married in a church you don't attend?

dr_mrs.king · June 2010

My Fi and I are having some trouble finding a church that will let us have our ceremony there because we don't attend that church. We do attend a Catholic church every Sunday, but we're being told because we aren't parishners they won't allow it.
Did any of you have any trouble with this? Or can you tell me what church you were/will be married in that will allow "outsiders"?

Thanks!

Just Jen · June 2010

We were married at Saint John the Evangelist in Goshen.

We live in NJ.

JeFlanigan · June 2010

why can't you register? Especially if you're there at mass I don't see why this should be an issue.

Erin McCormack · June 2010

If you attend mass every Sun, then you should be able to register and then there should be no problem. Since I'm divorced and have not gotten an annulment, I can't get married in the Catholic church again. My FI is protestant and we were able to find a Methodist church in LaGrangeville (where he grew up) that will marry us. They were very accomodating, the belief is close to that of the catholic belief and we didn't need to be a member. Hope your search goes well.

ktwed09 · June 2010

We were married at Christ Episcopal Church in Poughkeepsie. They were wonderful, and we're not members nor do we attend services there.

TerriandJoe · June 2010

I think she's saying that she doesn't attend the specific church she wants to get married at. But that she does attend mass every week.

Anyway, it's all going to depend on the parish.

Some will. Some won't.

Some will marry you, but want to meet with you a few times beforehand and make you promise that you will continue to go to church after your wedding.

If you currently attend mass at the same church every week (just not the one you are planning to get married at) maybe your "Home" priest could provide a reference if needed at the church you want to get married at. To state that you attend mass regularly.

Did you grow up in the area - what about the church you or fiance attended as children? Or where you were baptised? Had communion? Or confirmation?

Or have you tried a family members church (where they regularly go)?

Hope this helps!

(When we were looking, we knew we were getting married at my home church. So we used that as the starting point, but looked at reception venues up to an hour away. We realized that we didn't want anyone traveling that far. 45 minutes was negotiable. And 30 minutes away was definitely ok. We ended up going with a place not even 10 minutes from the church, but that's not what I'm suggesting. Figure out how far you are ok with your guests traveling between the ceremony and reception and that will give you quite a few towns (and churches) to look at.)

Good luck!!!

Midgette · June 2010

We didnt have a problem we just needed to provide sacrament certificates

Bat937 · June 2010

Are you looking to get married outside the area where you normally attend mass? If not, why not just get married at the church you attend regularly? Usually you will have to register but it's usually just filling out a form and submitting your envelope each week (with or without $)

If you are getting married outside your area, definitely check with your local priest, he may know someone at one of the churches in the area of your wedding.

Riss91 · June 2010

We were not married at our parish and the only difference was that we paid a higher fee than a parishoner of that church would have.

I think some priests will do it as long as you can prove that you're practicing elsewhere (you'll need to provide your sacramental certificates and in some cases your local priest may have to certify that you attend regularly at his parish). Some priests may not allow it because they feel it is difficult to gain comfort that you're in good standing elsewhere.

I'd just keep trying different churches in the area until you find one that will do it. What area are you looking in? We had luck in the Poughkeepsie area.

smatuza · June 2010

I had a problem with it. We are both confirmed catholics and had to go to three different churches until we found one that would marry peple outside of their parish. It all depends on the church so just keep calling and asking until you find one that says yes.

rmk6783 · June 2010

I'm not sure where you are looking to have your wedding, but we're getting married at the Poughkeepsie United Methodist Church. We do attend there, but I know they are very accommodating to people who don't - they just charge a small fee and have 2 counceling sessions that are required (the fee is $250 for the church).

sk8ergyrl1013 · July 2010

Both me and my FH were brought up Mormon, but we don't really practice anymore. One of his clients is a bishop at a Baptist church in Newburgh and they are letting us get married there and we don't attend.

Getting married in a church you don't attend?

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