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Possibly changing ceremony site-need help

christikaochristikao
First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
in Connecticut
FI and I are trying to decide if we should move our ceremony to another church since he is not very happy with the rules/restrictions imposed by our original church. Honestly I don't have issues with those rules. I like the interior of our original church better. Which one would you prefer??
 This is the pic of our original church: 

FI likes this better but to me it just feels dark and uninviting. 

Also if we do end up changing our church we will have to look for our own cantor, organist and trumpeter. Can anyone suggest where I can go about doing that?

TIA!
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Re: Possibly changing ceremony site-need help

  • ggmaeggmae member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think that your FI's unhappiness with the way the church runs things trumps what it looks like inside. I'd go with a new church if he is truly unhappy.

    The organist at my church is great. He also plays the trumpet beautifully. I'll PM you the info.
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  • christikaochristikao
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ggmae. I'm trying to find a happy medium for this situation but FI can be difficult at times. Honestly some of the rules are imposed by the Diocese and FI thinks if we change church he doesn't have to follow those rules since the priest at the new church is a close family friend.  My biggest fear is that I will not have the time to start looking for musicians 6 months before. 
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  • skarupakskarupak
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    It couldn't hurt to inquire at the other church and get an idea of their rules and regulations too. They might be the same, in which case you are back where you started. I know some churches are stricter than others but generally (within the same religious group) they have similar standards for music, where the photographer can be, etc.
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  • ZoeTheDogZoeTheDog
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    6 months?  I think you still have plenty of time.  I can get you my organists name.  What kind of ceremony are you having and in what town is the new church? 
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  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Both interiors are beautiful! I agree with ggmae, if FI is uncomfortable with the rules and restrictions maybe you should go with the 2nd church. But, if the rules end up being the same, then your FI will have no way around it and then you should just stick to your original church. Keep us updated!
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  • crushme8602crushme8602
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    By the pics, I think the first option is beautiful!
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  • memj09memj09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Is your original church St. Theresa's in Trumbull?   It looks like it from the picture.  If it is DH and I married there and I didn't find that it was really over the top with the rules/restrictions.  There were alot of things to take into consideration, but that is with every Catholic church.
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  • christikaochristikao
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_possibly-changing-ceremony-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:b5517811-be6d-4c27-bf24-b80284fd3f84Post:f5d6ff74-6b1a-49df-9139-75f0af3f0856">Re: Possibly changing ceremony site-need help</a>:
    [QUOTE]6 months?  I think you still have plenty of time.  I can get you my organists name.  What kind of ceremony are you having and in what town is the new church? 
    Posted by ZoeTheDog[/QUOTE]

    I'm having a Catholic ceremony. It would be great if you can PM me your organist's info. The second church is in the not so nice part of Bridgeport. TIA!
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  • christikaochristikao
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_possibly-changing-ceremony-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:b5517811-be6d-4c27-bf24-b80284fd3f84Post:10c4ec2c-d8cb-4172-aa42-183b3039aa5d">Re: Possibly changing ceremony site-need help</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is your original church St. Theresa's in Trumbull?   It looks like it from the picture.  If it is DH and I married there and I didn't find that it was really over the top with the rules/restrictions.  There were alot of things to take into consideration, but that is with every Catholic church.
    Posted by memj09[/QUOTE]

    It is St. Theresa. I agree with you, I didn't think the rules were that over the top and the fees are pretty much standard comparing to other Catholic churches. I think the only fee that other churches do not have is the coordinator fee. FI is also unhappy with the fees for the cantor/trumpeter and organist but from what other people are telling me those are standard rates. Grrr...sometimes I wish my FI is less involved in the planning process!!!

    Thanks everyone for the feedbacks!! I will definitely keep you girls posted.
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  • memj09memj09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The fees for the musicians are in line with what you would pay an outside musician - at least that was what I found.  As for the coordinator, I really liked having her.  At first I blanched at the idea too - but she was great with the rehersal and she set everything up on the day of the ceremony, including putting the ribbons on the pews and the unity candle and programs.  I have heard some people think she is difficult but we liked her.
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  • skarupakskarupak
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I wanted to add that our church has a coordinator too, who is required. So it isn't that out of the ordinary. Her fee is $100 at my church, but that is on top of fees for use of the space itself and for musicians. Our church also makes you pay the organist whether or not you use her because part of how she gets paid is through ceremonies booked at the church and hiring someone else would take away her income, so keep that in mind. Even if you brought in your own person, you might still have to pay the church's musician which would then INCREASE what you are paying for music rather than decreasing.
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