Not Engaged Yet

Anyone else already know about their ring? *slight vent*

My bf is wonderful and he bought the perfect ring for me about two months ago and showed it to me. He figured this would make for sure he bought the right one for me (in case you don't know he bought it on SUPER SALE and it became non-refundable once the sales was over) and to ease my mind in letting me know he was serious about marriage.

This was sweet of him and the ring is perfect. But, I know where it is and I have to fight with myself not to go look at it and it hasn't been sized down to fit me yet (from a 7 to 5 1/2). I know that with the warranty he got they do free sizing for life and he wanted to wait until I was done losing weight to be sure he got the right size, but I've been at my goal weight for a month and he still hasn't had it sized. It takes 2 weeks to get it back after you send it out for sizing. So I keep thinking to myself at least two more weeks. lol

I know I need to put it out of mind and that he probably has a great surprise for me but I'm dying! It is so hard to know it is just sitting there and still not on my finger.

Anyone in the same boat? Anyone with advice to get it out of my mind?
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Re: Anyone else already know about their ring? *slight vent*

  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Tell yourself he returned it.  It's never coming and he bought you a pony instead.

    Enjoy the time you have now, once you go engaged you don't go back to that pretty little stage where it doesn't matter...people start bombarding you with questions, you have a ton of decisions to make and it's going to suck up your savings.  :)
    I french with my man
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  • csousa1csousa1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I would be really irritated if I knew about my ring, and knew where it was. I know myself, and I know I would be too curious, and since BF knows that about me, it would just be mean of him to almost flaunt it in front of me like that. I want the ring to be going on my finger the day I see it. I know a lot of people like to go ring shopping with their future FI and I think that is great, but I want it all to be a surprise. I have explained to him in detail (because he asked me to) what kind of ring I want. That's perfectly fine with me, and now I trust him to get one I will love without any further consultation.

    I don't know how you can get your mind off it, because I would have a very hard time with that myself! I would say that every time you think of it or have the desire to go look, call a friend you haven't talked to in a while, sit down to watch a movie/show you have been meaning to watch, or come on here and tell us! Try getting your mind off of it with fun things in the moment that it comes up.
  • LizzyTish88LizzyTish88 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    If you keep thinking about it, this guy is going to come after you.


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  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I was in your situation for a while, CCO.  He had the ring for three months before he gave it to me.  All I have to say is the same thing I told Deburnin the other day.

    When you first get engaged, life is really great...  for a week or two at the max.  Then you start actually planning the wedding, and the hearts and rainbows fade and you're left with frustration and the desire to go back to your pre-engaged days so you can enjoy the anticipation all over again.  Trust me.  The other engaged girls will back me up.  This is what happens.  I'm jealous of you right now.
  • edited December 2011
    Why does getting engaged matter so much? You are already on your way to the ultimate end result. A lifelong  of happiness and love. 

    Getting engaged is just a step, a very small step really. You know the commitment you two have for each other. You don't need a ring to know he loves you and wants to marry you. Everyone close enough to the two of you knows that as well. You don't need a ring to validate your relationship to outsiders. A ring is just a piece of jewelry. You two have already started your life together. You are blessed. 
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_anyone-else-already-their-ring-slight-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:68c050e3-88bc-4778-8761-4ba9e2928ee6Post:afc16404-b0a6-4433-8202-832fa7d569b2">Re: Anyone else already know about their ring? *slight vent*</a>:
    [QUOTE]Every time you think about it, he's not going to give it to you for another month. Try that. :)
    Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]


    Hahaha this one could do the trick!

    And <a href="http://community.theknot.com/cs/ks/user/default.aspx?membershipid=4734036482140857&plckUserId=4734036482140857" target="_blank" class="username_knot">csousa1</a> I was a little irritated at first but I know he meant well. But its seriously hard! I keep telling him to send it to get resized now and then hide it from me when it gets back! But, he has some plan he says! UGH lol

    <a href="http://community.theknot.com/cs/ks/user/default.aspx?membershipid=8646122734105837&plckUserId=8646122734105837" target="_blank" class="username_knot">AbigailMS </a>, I totally aggree but as everyone knows on here it is against all rules to pre plan and he has asked about dates etc. Not to menation, my very close cousin does our renters insurance and so he had the ring put on a rider so she constantly asks me everytime I call if i'm calling becuase he purposed.
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  • csousa1csousa1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Hahahaha cde that cat is hilarious. And Elle, that is a totally valid point. My sister and FBIL got engaged last July, it was a huge surprise and she was floating on air for a few weeks. People started questioning them on everything wedding related immediately, and the stress started in pretty quick. I'm excited for the eventual proposal and engagement to happen, but I am not looking forward to dealing with the rest of it!
  • leia1979leia1979 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I like what Abigail said.

    I picked out my ring and was there when he purchased it. It didn't bother me or ruin the experience.
  • katiebean1katiebean1 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We picked out the ring together and I was there when he paid for it....I have no clue if he has picked it up from being sized yet....but the anticipation might kill me (jk =p).  I am definitely not the most patient person in the world.  Everyone says to forget he has it, but that is darn near impossible.
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  • SassyFlatsSassyFlats member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would take it yourself, put it out of sight and tell him where it is so he can get it when he's ready. Then, do your very best not to think about it.
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  • edited December 2011
    I know BF has already bought the ring. He showed me the bank account after he purchased it lol. We just about to combine our accounts so he knew I would see when he bought it, so he went ahead and showed me. I THINK I know what it looks like...but we'll see.

    I'm assuming he'll propose while we're in Russia but who knows. I'm excited but I AM NOT dwelling on it. I think I've been holding in the excitement pretty well :)

    I mean he could have just bought me a pony, right? I've always wanted a pony. Wink
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_anyone-else-already-their-ring-slight-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:68c050e3-88bc-4778-8761-4ba9e2928ee6Post:de60abff-0a5c-48f3-8b3e-ae974e28a89f">Re: Anyone else already know about their ring? *slight vent*</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know BF has already bought the ring. He showed me the bank account after he purchased it lol. We just about to combine our accounts so he knew I would see when he bought it, so he went ahead and showed me. I THINK I know what it looks like...but we'll see. I'm assuming he'll propose while we're in Russia but who knows. I'm excited but I AM NOT dwelling on it. I think I've been holding in the excitement pretty well :) <strong>I mean he could have just bought me a pony, right? I've always wanted a pony.</strong>
    Posted by AJesteram[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Ponies are more fun anyways. What can you do with a darn ring?!? nothing. lol</div>
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_anyone-else-already-their-ring-slight-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:68c050e3-88bc-4778-8761-4ba9e2928ee6Post:43b0ea93-74f7-4d99-a6d1-f5daef6d328f">Re: Anyone else already know about their ring? *slight vent*</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone else already know about their ring? *slight vent* : Ponies are more fun anyways. What can you do with a darn ring?!? nothing. lol
    Posted by AbigailMS[/QUOTE]

    Hahahah EXACTLY!
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  • edited December 2011
    haha livleighton! that's my old standby rule! every time you bring it up, you won't get a ring for another month.

    i hear what you're saying OP. SO and I bought the ring two weeks ago and i've been waiting patiently-ish. although i  don't know WHERE it is so i can't ogle it.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks guys I feel totally less crazy now... I think I just need to tell him to hide it. I'm not going to go looking for it since I already know what it looks like.

     I just need it out of sight ot of mind!
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  • edited December 2011
    I have seen my ring. My mom knew that my boyfriend and I were looking at rings(we had planned to get engaged this summer), and my grandmother had just passed away. My mother had inherited my great-grandmother's engagment ring from the 1920s (almost a full crt. Diamond solitaire set in platinum), and offered it to us. I told her we would have to discuss it, and my boyfriend and I argued/discussed it for two days.

    My reasons for wanting the ring:
    The cut, color, and clarity are amazing. My first degree was a degree in History, so the age and tradition are pluses in my book.We can save the money he would have spent on a ring.

    His reasons for not neccessarily wanting the ring:
    Its a dead persons Jewelry(yes, he cited that as a reason). He didn't buy the ring, so it looks like he can't afford to support me. He wanted at least a full crt. 

    In the end we decided together to accept the ring, and put the money he would have spent towards a honeymoon. I need to have it sized/cleaned/appraised, but we still  haven't decided when we will "announce" our engagement (although we have been together for over 5 and a half years, so if we don't get engaged soon, both our families will mutiny....my mother has been not-so-secretly been trying to plan our wedding. not kidding. she even planted flowers to be in bloom when we think we want to get married [which isn't until August 2012] and has visited the venue we have discussed).



  • deburnindeburnin member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yup. I'm in that boat. BF's had a ring since July. I know where it is, but I don't remember the combo to the safe so no temptation there. For the most part I don't even think about the ring, but there are times that I get antsy (like last week). I tend to come here and let my crazy out and then I feel better.

    You know there's a ring and that a proposal is on the way. Thinking about it will drive you crazy. So instead just focus on your relationship and remind yourself that it's just a piece of jewelry.
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  • fridaysdancefridaysdance member
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I'm not in the same situation, but this would drive me insane. My boyfriend and I have discussed what I want, nothing too elaborate, but I have no clue when it's coming and I want to keep it that way.

    I would believe only in a God that knows how to dance. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
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