Moms and Maids

Shopping for my wedding dress

I need help!  I was planning on going dress shopping for my dress (the bride) with my mom and only the two of us. 
Now my fiancés mom has told me she wants to go along the day I go dress shopping and while she was telling me this his sisters and nieces said they wanted to come too so they can say “yes to the dress”.  This came right after I had said that my mom and I were planning a shopping trip.  They became offended when I said I was planning on it being just myself and my mom and his mom said, "That is unfair, I want to be included too."

Am I out of line for not wanting a huge group along?  Should I include his mom?

Re: Shopping for my wedding dress

  • jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    edited May 2012
    No, you absolutely have the right to say no to people coming with you dress shopping.  For my mom, it was important for her to be there when I tried on my first wedding dress so I made an appointment at one salon for just the two of us.  After that, we met up with my MIL and other BM (they were trying on BM dresses too).  It was a good compromise for me and my mom but I also wanted them there too.  If you don't want a large group then don' thave them.  They'll just stress you out in the end.  If you want to include your MIL, and just your MIL, then ask her to come to that or anouther appointment.
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • You do not have to include anyone in dress shopping that you don't want.  In fact, I am under the thinking that less is more when it comes to inviting people dress shopping.  If you only want it to be you and your Mom than that is perfectly fine.  If your FMIL, FSIL and nieces are upset they will just have to learn to get over it.


  • Something about that show has made everyone crazy.  I've never seen it, but my grandma went with me to dress shop and didn't understand my <$1000 dress budget that I had imposed on myself.  Because of that show, she thought it was best to spend more.  I say take who you want to.  I didn't take my MIL but she didn't ask.  My mom took it upon herself to invite nearly all of my family, but that is because it was my one time to shop with them all in Iowa.  At first I was bummed because I didn't want almost 10% of our guests (we are having a smaller wedding) to see me in the dress, but I stepped back and realized that if none of them had pictures of me in the sample dress that was like 10 sizes too big, they wouldn't even remember what it looks like in 7 months.  Don't let your MIL push you into something you don't want, but it's not the biggest deal if you have a little entourage.  I agree with PP to just do the first visit with your mom only and then appease your MIL by taking her with your WP.

    image
  • THANK YOU! To all that have responded!
    I've never seen the show either and that is all she talks about and asked if I’ve seen other “wedding type shows” I can’t remember all the different names.  But the main reason is I don't want to be stressed and I know I will be with lots of people around.....I'm plus sized and don't like cloths shopping to begin with, I’ll be worried that everyone is bored and I need to hurry, and their ideas are completely opposite of mine. LOL  

    I was beginning to think I was becoming a bridezilla….and don’t want to be that.

  • Stick to your guns.  Also, really think ahead of time what information you want to share with them so you won't get backed into a corner again.
  • What everyone else said- just bring your mom. I flew out to Las Vegas (where my mom, sister, grandma, and aunt/uncle/cousin) all live to go dress shopping, but I only brought my mom and my sister. We ended up going to several stores, and going back to the first one the next day to purchase the dress, and I let my cousin come along for that. My sister was really helpful with picking out dresses that I never would have thought to try on, but ended up loving. You should only bring people who you feel will help you make the decision and give you helpful advice, and will cause the least amount of stress.


    That being said, see if you can find something else that you can involve everyone else in. Can you give them a small part of the wedding that they help with?


    Also, don't watch Say Yes to the Dress. It has created crazy expectations of what wedding dress shopping should be like/ how much money you should spend (the Kleinfeld MINIMUM is $1500, BEFORE alterations). I live in NYC, and EVERYONE I know asked me if I was going to shop there and try to be on the show. Nope. I'm perfectly happy with my $600 David's Bridal dress, thanks.
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