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Picking my Maid of Honor and not hurting feelings!

nicki761nicki761 member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I only have a few close friends, six in total. Perfect number of girls for my bridal party. Problem is, the two that I've known the longest, which I always assumed would be my Maids of Honor, I don't think they will be the best pick.

Friend "A" has told me in the past that if I didn't pick her she'd be very upset. A has always been the best friend I could ask for, always there for me, but from past experiences I can't trust her enough to be my "right hand girl" when the time comes to do it.

Friend "B" has never told me that she wanted to be my MOH but we were like sisters for many years. In the last year we've grown apart a lot and she hasn't been such a good friend, but she's trying to make up for it now that I've gotten engaged.

Friend "C" is perfect for the job, but I believe she will be engaged soon too and I'd hate to be her second priority when the time comes.

Friend "D" who is also very good for the job, but I've only known for about a year.

Who do I choose?! 
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Re: Picking my Maid of Honor and not hurting feelings!

  • bunni727bunni727 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    If you leave all the ideas of "good for the job" out of it, who would you choose?

    Really, there isn't much of a job to it: they buy a dress and walk down the aisle. If someone offers to throw you a bachlorette party or shower, that is great, but that can be anyone--not just your MOH.

    I would pick A, B, both, or simply not have one.


    ETA: Pick who you are closest to. on my first read through, it seemed like that was A or B. I can't tell if you are closer to C or just think she would do more things for you. If you leave people out because you won't be their first priority, you might as well have your FI be MOH.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Choose the person closest to you. Don't worry about what they can do or will be able to do or even what they want to do to help. Nothing except showing up is really required, so just consider who you rely on, in general, not who you can rely on to help you do stuff for your wedding. You can also have more than 1 MOH, if that helps.
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    Ditto PP. First, it's NOT a job. It's supposed to be an honor, not who is the best at putting decorations together or looks best in the BM dress.
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  • nicki761nicki761 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_picking-my-maid-of-honor-and-not-hurting-feelings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0bb33430-ac50-4a6e-ba77-1c95ccc94b92Post:419b9683-dd4b-4f24-9bf2-8c7451513382">Re: Picking my Maid of Honor and not hurting feelings!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto PP. First, it's NOT a job. It's supposed to be an honor, not who is the best at putting decorations together or looks best in the BM dress.
    Posted by misssunshine17[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>This really just changed my whole outlook. THANK YOU!!</div>
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Don't have one. Just have bridesmaids. They all do the same thing, so if you are having trouble deciding, just eliminate it altogether.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    First of all...You have a year to debate who your wedding party will be because it's 18 months from now!  STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!

    That being said, all this talk of jobs wouldn't make me want to be a part of your wedding party.  Lurk around on here in the next year and you'll get a better idea.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_picking-my-maid-of-honor-and-not-hurting-feelings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0bb33430-ac50-4a6e-ba77-1c95ccc94b92Post:403be62f-d576-47c9-a1fc-8472961853c2">Re: Picking my Maid of Honor and not hurting feelings!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Don't have one. Just have bridesmaids. They all do the same thing, so if you are having trouble deciding, just eliminate it altogether.
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    This is what I would do.
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  • AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    You don't have to make this difficult choice among your friends. If there's any question of who to pick, just have them all be maids of honor or bridesmaids. The title is the only difference. It's not like the MOH does anything different than the other BMs. Why potentially hurt your friends over one night?
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  • TT Bride 13TT Bride 13 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_picking-my-maid-of-honor-and-not-hurting-feelings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:0bb33430-ac50-4a6e-ba77-1c95ccc94b92Post:e3480315-eba7-4311-90ce-ebe73eb8a55c">Re: Picking my Maid of Honor and not hurting feelings!</a>:
    [QUOTE]"I love you all too much to pick and choose from among you.  I couldn't possibly do that, so I will not select an honor attendant."
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this!
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