Plus-Sized

Plus-sized MOH is SO upset!

Hi All,
I'm having some drama with my beautiful sister who is my MOH. She and I are both big girls, and because of this, I understand how hard it is to find the right clothes that you feel good in. Because my my two other maids are petite, I let my sister choose the dress they were going to wear - I wanted her to feel totally comfortable and happy on the day! She chose a style that works with her body type, and then I told the other girls to buy it too (they hated it, but whatever, I'm the bride, right?). 

So here we are 18 DAYS before the wedding and my sister texts me that it doesent fit anymore because she gained weight :( and there is no way to let it out. Honestly, I want her to be happy on the wedding day too! I told her to go buy another similar dress if possible, but I know it's going to be tough. 

Needless to say, my sister is so super upset and feels like she 'ruined the wedding'. :(

What i need your advice on - how do I handle the backlash from my other maids? I know they are going to be really pissed they had to buy/wear a dress they don't like, and my sister doesn't. What to do?! 
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Re: Plus-sized MOH is SO upset!

  • edited May 2012
    Why would you make the other girls wear a dress they hate?  I would've asked them to wear the same color and let them pick out a style they liked and felt comfortable with. 

    I don't think there's anything you can say to the other girls that would help this situation unless you offer to pay for new dresses off the rack.  Although, if I were one of the girls, I would've been pissed at you long before for not taking my feelings into consideration and making me wear a dress I hate. 
  • First off, good for you to be so loving to your sister!!!  It is great to hear someone get on here and not complain about someone gaining weight.  My sister (i was her MOH) had a conversation once with me that went kinda like this, I don't care what you wear, I don't care if you aren't a size 6, I love you for who you are and not the size of your body.  It is one of those things that really stuck with me for my whole life.  As for the other bridemaids, their shouldn't be any backlash, you are the bride and they can "suck it up" :)  or at least that is what i would tell them!! :)
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  • edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_plus-sized-moh-is-so-upset?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:fdd1d1e6-dcbc-40c0-9715-8cf29cfb1c1fPost:662013da-ea0f-4692-a71f-141783eccd78">Re: Plus-sized MOH is SO upset!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why would you make the other girls wear a dress they hate?  
    Posted by MrsMeganL2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>Hi MrsMegan - I should have said that the dress was $40, and they picked the shade they wanted and I told them to make any alterations they wanted, one made it into a pencil skirt, one is putting a crinoline underneath. Maybe hate was a strong word... </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_plus-sized-moh-is-so-upset?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:fdd1d1e6-dcbc-40c0-9715-8cf29cfb1c1fPost:02dc7435-884b-4224-bb01-386b62f5385f">Re: Plus-sized MOH is SO upset!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Plus-sized MOH is SO upset! : Hi MrsMegan - I should have said that the dress was $40, and they picked the shade they wanted and I told them to make any alterations they wanted, one made it into a pencil skirt, one is putting a crinoline underneath. 
    Posted by daniellaanne[/QUOTE]

    Ahhh, ok, that's better!  Not sure how they can hate a dress so much when they had free reign to alter it to their liking AND pick the shade they liked best.  And since they're not identical, it should make it easier to let your sister go pick out something new off the rack that she likes.
  • Thanks ladies for the perspective. Everything seems SO big and drama filled this close to the day, when it's probably not a big deal at all. SmileSavy - sounds like your sis loves you the way I love my little sister! Just want her by my side on my day!
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  • it sounds like you two are loving sisters, I think its great you both want to please each other and make each other happy.  I am sure she will find another dress that is just as....if not more...perfect, and she will feel beautiful and confident.  Like PP said, its your wedding! Good luck!

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_plus-sized-moh-is-so-upset?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:fdd1d1e6-dcbc-40c0-9715-8cf29cfb1c1fPost:521b6e3e-b30f-4ed2-af10-d721ee9f67f5">Re: Plus-sized MOH is SO upset!</a>:
    [QUOTE]First off, good for you to be so loving to your sister!!!  It is great to hear someone get on here and not complain about someone gaining weight.  My sister (i was her MOH) had a conversation once with me that went kinda like this,<strong> I don't care what you wear, I don't care if you aren't a size 6, I love you for who you are and not the size of your body.  It is one of those things that really stuck with me for my whole life. </strong> As for the other bridemaids, their shouldn't be any backlash, you are the bride and they can "suck it up" :)  or at least that is what i would tell them!! :)
    Posted by smilesavy[/QUOTE]

    I think you should say something like this to your sister!
  • since you let the other girls alter their dresses if the dress is say 4 or 5 inches from closing could your sister make it a corset back? just a thougth. and either way tell her how beautiful she looks and that she is your sister and short tall fat skinny blue purple green or orange that you will love her no matter what. :) good luck 
  • Are you sure there is nothing that can be done?   Can she take it to a seamstress and see if they can add a corset back or fabric to the sides?   I saw a BM add a complimentary fabric to the sides of her dress when she got pregnant and the dress no longer fit and it looked lovely.  It looked like it was supposed to be that way.  It was the same material (satin I think) and a complimentary color.  So, it was just like she had a stripe down the sides of the dress.   Since your other two girls have the same dress, but altered them to make them their own, I dont' think your sister would look out of place. 

    Have her take the dress to a good seamstress and see what they can do. But, have her do it NOW, like today !

  • You would be surprised what a good seamstress can do in 18 days ! My little sister ordered her MOH dress , then found out she was pregnant with twins. When the dress came in , she had gained alot of weight and was already showing  . The seamstress added an extra panel to the back and made it a corset - type back, and it fit beautifully! I would definately "shop around" and see if anyone you know in your area has someone they trust.
  • Definitely go to a good seamstress, they can work wonders!

    I am very curious as to where you found a $40 dress!!
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  • Update: she's taking the dress to a seamstress, and everything is a go! WHEW!
    The dresses are from Dress 911, they have some really lovely plus-sized clothes: http://dress911.com/PlusSizeDresses?zenid=8c2014065f4fdb6843bf07406783346a


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