Two part question...
1)We are only inviting ppl close to us and that we have had recent or frequent contact with (to keep as close to the budget as possible). Soon to be MIL gives us an invitee list of some of her close friends or people who are "Important" to her. My fiance bluntly told her that certain people on those list aren't coming because he doesn't know them personally or she hasn't seen them in years. She became very upset/argumentative and then offered to "buy their meals" for them. I asked fiance to consider being "diplomatic" because she is helping pay for some of the expenses...he says no, its his final say, and he feels if she gets an inch, she'll take a mile. He and I agreed to each be in charge of our side of the family's invitees. He and his mom have a relationship power struggle, so I see these little disagreements happening more and more as time goes on. I say give his mom a little leg room, because I know for him it is more of him taking "control" away from her than being diplomatic. Has anyone had issues such as this, and if so, how did you resolve (or try to) them.
2) She proposed inviting her friends who won't get an invitation to come up to reception to give well-wishes/etc AFTER the meal has taken place. I find this tacky and unfair to guests on my list who didn't get an invite, since we aren't inviting them afterward the meal. Since MIL is covering the liquor and soft drink bar she doesn't see a problem with it. My SIL said she did this at her wedding after she specifically told MIL not to do it...MIL did it anyways... any suggestions about this either.