Body confidence

Re: Body confidence

• Sarah5200 member

  

  June 2012

  You are not hopeless.
  
  Everyone has bad moments. But they are just that, bad moments. I don't allow myself to call a day a "bad" day, until there have been at least 10 bad moments.
  
  For me, it's all about disallowing negative self-talk. It's something that takes practice, but it's really important. It is something that I have worked on for a long time. I think that we spend too much time letting our physical appearance be a huge part of our self-concept. When you feel bad about your body, you remind yourself "but I am working hard to change it. I know I can do it because I am strong, I am resilient, I am committed." These sort of things work for me. But the second you start bullying yourself, you're shot. When you do that to yourself, a) you feel bad because of the flaws you have, and b) you feel bad because you know you shouldn't be so harsh. 
  
  Positive outlook is key! Think about the great changes you have made to your health aside from the vanity aspects. Think about how you may now live a longer, more healthy life. Reduced your risks of certain diseases, etc.
  
  I would really work on stopping that reflex you have to refuse compliments. It feels weird at first, but start just saying "Thank you" when someone compliments you. You might still think the bad things, but eventually they will fade away.
  
  I think that we often think that the hard part is the physical work in weight loss, but don't spend enough time on mending our mental health. We're changing so quickly when we lose weight that our minds can't keep up unless we help them to do it. So just keep working at being positive and accepting of yourself, and you will get there. Good luck!

  
  
  

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• turtleslove

  

  June 2012

  I used to hate compliments. They still make me uncomfortable, but learning to accept them with grace is key. Definitely a hard lesson to learn but like Sarah said, just start saying "Thank You." Making it a habit was one way I am working to change my attitude overall. And yes, seeking out a professional to talk to may really help to put things into perspective.

  May 2013 Brides February Siggy

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• dawnp917

  

  June 2012

  I agree with PP about finding somebody to talk to.  Confidence is something that is challenging to everybody.   I went through a patch many years ago when I was very unhappy and had a panic attack in a bar one night.  Not a pretty sight.  That led me to speak out a therapist.  
  
  We talked a lot about what my goals were, why I felt the way I did and really figured out what was going on in my head.   In the end I realized I was very unhappy living in the town I grew up in and needed to be in a different place.   I moved to Boston.  Getting out of my hometown gave me the confidence I was lacking.    I'm not saying you need to move but you need to figure out where the lack of confidence is coming from. 
  
  It is hard to not be critical of ourselves.   I am a perfectionist when it comes to many things and am very hard on myself but I also appreciate when others can see and recognize the good that I can't.

  
  August 2012 - Married!

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• Windsor81

  

  June 2012

  I agree with what other have said.  As an aside - when I was having some serious problems with my own self (going through a divorce, putting on/taking off weight, dealing with a bad relationship), I started a small mantra.  Once or twice a day I would look at myself in the mirror and say "You're smart, you're beautiful and you're worth it".  Eventually, after a week or two, I started to believe it.  I still get into bad habits of picking myself apart.  But I try and look at the GOOD instead of focusing only on the bad.  

  
  

  I also used to have this game I'd play when a friend would compliment me I'd say something like "You have to say that, you're my friend".  One time my FI used something similar on me and I told him "I love you, so my opinion should matter more".  Since then I've tried to apply that to the compliments that people give me - the ones from friends in family count more because they care about me.

  
  

  Its hard though.  I hate to say it, but as females we're almost TAUGHT to hate ourselves if we're not the "standard of beauty"...whatever that is.  If you look at any woman's magazine it talks about how to be more beautiful, more perfect and how to make your man happy.  If you look at a man's magazine it talks about how to make HIMSELF happy.  Last year, I finally said "Eff it, this year is about me.  This year I'm making myself happy".  I'd spent a lot of the previous...well, heck most of my life...trying to make everyone else happy.  When I finally focused on what made me feel good, and finding the person I was and not giving in, I not only found my own happiness but the right person for me.

  
  

  So whatever anyone says, you're smart.  You're funny.  You're beautiful, with or without lumps and bumps.  You're loved and you're worth it  Keep smiling and start looking for all the beautiful things about yourself!

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• SarahAnn2

  

  June 2012

  Two things have helped me personally:

  1. Recognizing that my value as a person does not come from the number on the scale. This obviously takes time, but I really looked at all of the things that truly make me, me. I focused on those things rather than my body image.

  2. Weightlifting. For whatever reason it made me feel more confident and empowered. I have heard this from friends too. Weightlifting/kickboxing can make you feel great. 

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