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August 2012 Weddings
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Personal Attendents

whidanwhidan
First Comment
in August 2012 Weddings
So I have been blessed with three amazing brothers (no sisters). My older brother has been married for about two years and even though I am not very close with my SIL I have asked her to be a personal attendent.

The only problem is the my fiance has 1 sister (no other siblings), and she lives about 10 hours from us. In the four years we have been dating I have probably seen her a total of five times. She is not the friendlist person---but that is beside the point--she was married last year in Vegas and my fiance (her brother) was not asked to be part of the wedding at all.

When fiance and I were putting together duties for our family members I couldn't find anything for her to do. I was thinking of asking her to be a personal attendent along with my SIL....thoughts? Any advice would be appreciated--I would hate to start out on a bad foot with her.
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Re: Personal Attendents

  • LittleMissCutiePieLittleMissCutiePie
    500 Comments
    Don't give anyone "duties" just so they have something to do. Let them enjoy your wedding!
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  • tuarceathatuarceatha member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    I don't 100% get the "personal attendents" role. I'd never heard of it before TK, and we aren't planning on asking anyone to hold that title.
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  • katehar01katehar01 member
    100 Comments
    I would ask her to do a reading or something, if that's appropriate for your ceremony,  If not, I'd just skip giving her any "duties".  I also don't totally get the personal attendant thing, but it sounds to me like something a close friend would be honored to do, but that someone not close to you might consider a chore.
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  • AjoydAjoyd member
    100 Comments
    I agree with PPs. If FI was not asked to be in her wedding party, I don't think you need to be concerned with including her beyond an invite and to give her a duty would probably just annoy her.


    Married my love 8-25-12 TTC #1 since September 2012. BFP 2-2-13. photo 455d4bc3-3623-4c16-8dd1-1fbc7e99e147.jpg BabyFruit Ticker My BFP Chart
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  • bmetz34bmetz34 member
    100 Comments
    I don't really get personal attendents.  That isn't something I've ever seen at a wedding I've been to around here so to me it seems like asking someone to be your butler for the day... But even though I'm sure it's something different to you, I agree with PP and don't give her any "duties" for the day and just let her enjoy the wedding as a guest. 
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  • saraschilling88saraschilling88
    500 Comments
    I have a FSIL (my brother's fiancee) who I had difficulty asking to do anything, and when I finally did ask she didn't answer just said "I'll think about it"..  So maybe don't ask your FI's sister?  I don't see there anything wrong with her just being a guest.

    PPs, a Personal Attendant is kind of like an extension of your bridesmaids (IMO), she/he makes sure you are "perfect" before you go out (makeup isn't smeared, hair in place, dress and train properly aligned, etc..).. Also she can run messages to your FI and others when you aren't allowed to leave the room (so guests don't see you before the wedding)!! 

    That being said, ONLY ask someone you trust to be your PA, it could get nasty if somoene who has a grudge or doesn't appreciate that it is your day is in that position.
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  • Roxie2012Roxie2012
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Please dont ask anyone to be your personal assistant.
    No one should be required to work on your wedding day except the vendors you hired.
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