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Do we have to get married in my hometown??!?!

SophieoopsSophieoops member
First Comment
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
I have been researching venues like mad for the past month for our wedding in the spring of 2014. It seems like all the places are getting booked up quickly and between graduate school and flying back and forth to my hometown to plan is getting out of control!

I found my dream venue in the town next to my hometown, outside of Boston. Little did I realize that between the venue (and all their hidden fees) and the caterers they require and the lighting vendor (I can't decorate bare 30 foot ceilings myself), that I would be blowing $17,000 to $24,000 out of my $25,000 budget. Call me crazy, but that seems like too much! However, it seems most venues in the Boston area are crazy expensive and so is everything else that has to do with weddings.

Now, my fiancé and I live in Texas, so it isn't like we live anywhere near my hometown. And he is from the buffalo area so his ginormous family would need to travel either way..... So would it be crazy to have the wedding in Texas?! I already know the caterer and venue that I would choose here and it would be maximum $10,500. But is it ok to get married so far from his family? My family is totally ok with it! So, am I crazy?! What do I do?
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Re: Do we have to get married in my hometown??!?!

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You and your family want Texas. What does your fiance want?
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  • SophieoopsSophieoops member
    First Comment
    He wants me to be happy so he said we could make the Boston wedding work by saving and putting more money in, essentially doubling our budget.... But he also would be happy having it in Austin. I guess I'm just worried that I would be making some huge wedding faux pas and have his whole family peeved at me for it. But on the other hand his family isn't paying for anything, only my parents and potentially my fiancé and myself.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If he's happy with Texas, then Texas it is. His family are honored guests.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    We got married in Texas because that's where we lived. My family is in IL and AR, and my husband's family is in FL. People travel for weddings all the time.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    we opted to get married at our church which was not the church either of us grew up in or in the town either of us grew up in.

    there is no rule taht says you must go home to marry.  marrying in the brides hometown dates back to when paretns paid for the daughters wedding and the daughter lived at home until she married.
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  • tiny specktiny speck member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    I'd say do it in Texas. Personally, I have found planning so much easier where we are living right now, which happens to be very far from where either of us grew up. Our families are travelling. It would have been a nightmare to try to plan the wedding long distance, especially because I like to be involved in the details, and wouldn't want to leave everything up to my mom or FMIL.
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  • Xstatic3333Xstatic3333 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    Although Texas sounds like it will work best for you, if you do decide to look in the Boston area there are also lots of cheaper and very nice venues in Worcester county and New Hampshire. Not sure your guest list, but unless it is extremely high you could still have a very nice wedding in MA on your budget. Come to the Boston board for suggestions if you go this route. Good luck!
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  • JennaMichelle88JennaMichelle88 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    If everyone is ok with it I'd say get married where you live now. Planning from a distance is a pain. I had my venue booked for almost 2 months before I actually saw it in person.
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited February 2013
    My fiance is from Buffalo and I'm from Philadelphia.

    We married in Bermuda :-)

    If you'd rather marry in Texas and you both are happy with that decision, go for it!

    EDIT: Um... my husband is from Buffalo.  Husband.  We've been married nearly two years, you'd think fiance wouldn't come out anymore.

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  • SophieoopsSophieoops member
    First Comment
    Thanks everyone!!!!

    I think I'm going to keep an open mind, price everything out, and make a list of pros and cons. 

    Very helpful suggestions form all and they are much appreciated!
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  • Jessa617 Jessa617 member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    If you have your heart set on Boston- why not go suburbs. You can find venues a lot cheaper once you move towards the South Shore.

    Also, there's no rule on where you "have" to get married. You could get married in Maine, California, Michigan, Louisiana... basically anywhere you want to. Sometimes it's easier to plan a wedding at a venue that's close to where you currently live, but you can certainly accomplish things from afar.
    Anniversary
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  • hutchslhutchsl member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    We live in Houston. I grew up in Florida. DHs uncle and cousins live in Liberty Hill north of Austin. They own a restaurant so we decided to have our wedding there. So what I am saying is pick where you want your wedding. After all it is your special day.

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  • HeatherSP13HeatherSP13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Get married wherever you want.  We are getting married at fiance's mothers hometown.  My fiance does not go to church but he wanted to get married at church his family attends.  I go to church but family does not.  I'm fine getting married in another time if it means he is getting married in church.  We are getting married about an hour from my parents.  Not far at all.  No need for people to travel, get hotel, etc.  A friend is getting married where she lives even though she grew up several hours away.  Choose wherever you want.  
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