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Permission to be maried in Catholic Church - Fiance divorced - Please help!

Eles11Eles11
in Catholic Weddings
My fiance and I are looking to get married in a Catholic Church. I am a Catholic and my fiance is Church of England. He has been married before in a registry office to a lady who was baptised Methodist, they have since divorced.
We have been told by my local priest that we will need to write to a panel to decide whether we are able to get married.

Do any of you have any experience of this? What are the chances of us gaining permission and how long does the process take?

To me this is the most important and I shall be bitterly disappointed if we aren't able to get married in my local parish church.

Any thoughts would be great - thank you!

Eleanor
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Re: Permission to be maried in Catholic Church - Fiance divorced - Please help!

  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    The Catholic church believes marriage lasts until death, a civil divorce does not undo a marriage. The Catholic church also recognizes that marriages in other faiths are valid, so your fiance is actually still married to another person and is not free to marry. 

    This annulment process investigates whether there was something at the time of your fiance's first marriage that would mean the marriage wasn't valid, which would mean he wasn't married, and would be free to marry you. The length of time depends on how quick the witnesses turn in their testimony, and how busy the tribunal is in the diocese that it is applied for. 


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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    We have a number of women on this board who have gone or are going through the annulment process, so hopefully they can speak to some of the emotions one experiences through all of this.  I don't have anything else to add to what agape said except don't lose hope!  
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  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_permission-to-be-maried-in-catholic-church-fiance-divorced-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:a3f1bfda-d286-421e-81fe-09b002bb97c4Post:9acaadcb-4417-4321-8ec5-81943f262735">Re: Permission to be maried in Catholic Church - Fiance divorced - Please help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]We have a number of women on this board who have gone or are going through the annulment process, so hopefully they can speak to some of the emotions one experiences through all of this.  I don't have anything else to add to what agape said except don't lose hope!  
    Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]

    I second this. I also know that those of us who haven't been through it are still happy to offer our emotional support. :)
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  • baystateapplebaystateapple member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I may be wrong in this, but I believe that if your FI was previously married in a non-Catholic ceremony, the church does not recognize it as a marriage, and you do not need an annulment.  What you DO need is the consent to marry someone of a different faith.  Your pastor should be able to get you the paperwork necessary.  This is usually a formality and permission is usually granted.

    Talk to your pastor, I'm sure he will be able to set you straight.  GL!
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    I may be wrong in this, but I believe that if your FI was previously married in a non-Catholic ceremony, the church does not recognize it as a marriage, and you do not need an annulment.

    he will need an annulment.  the catholic church recognizes marriages of other faiths as valid.  however, if her FI was a catholic, and married outside of the catholic church, then that wouldn't be recognized.  however, he'd still need an annulment it would just be a different form.

    she also does nto need any consents to marry someone of another faith, unless she's attempting a wedding in his church rather than the catholic church.  that would be wha'ts called a dispensation.  but it sounds like she wants to be married catholic.
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Actually, I think she would need a dispensation if the person was of another non-Christian faith, which might be what bay meant.

    But yeah, my understanding is that all marriages are "presumed" valid until proven otherwise.
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_permission-to-be-maried-in-catholic-church-fiance-divorced-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:a3f1bfda-d286-421e-81fe-09b002bb97c4Post:7bd48a17-9fcb-46cc-8927-3d2a60725b46">Re: Permission to be maried in Catholic Church - Fiance divorced - Please help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I may be wrong in this, but I believe that if your FI was previously married in a non-Catholic ceremony, the church does not recognize it as a marriage, and you do not need an annulment. he will need an annulment.  the catholic church recognizes marriages of other faiths as valid.  however, if her FI was a catholic, and married outside of the catholic church, then that wouldn't be recognized.  however, he'd still need an annulment it would just be a different form. she also does nto need any consents to marry someone of another faith, unless she's attempting a wedding in his church rather than the catholic church.  that would be wha'ts called a dispensation.  but it sounds like she wants to be married catholic.
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE
    <div>
    </div><div>A catholic needs permission to marry someone of another Christian Faith. A Catholic needs a dispensation to marry someone that is not Baptized.</div>
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  • princessro07princessro07 member
    10 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited July 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_permission-to-be-maried-in-catholic-church-fiance-divorced-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:a3f1bfda-d286-421e-81fe-09b002bb97c4Post:00c43bce-5077-4d94-9d2e-b236eba9f511">Re: Permission to be maried in Catholic Church - Fiance divorced - Please help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Permission to be maried in Catholic Church - Fiance divorced - Please help! : [QUOTE]I may be wrong in this, but I believe that if your FI was previously married in a non-Catholic ceremony, the church does not recognize it as a marriage, and you do not need an annulment. he will need an annulment.  the catholic church recognizes marriages of other faiths as valid.  however, if her FI was a catholic, and married outside of the catholic church, then that wouldn't be recognized.  however, he'd still need an annulment it would just be a different form. she also does nto need any consents to marry someone of another faith, unless she's attempting a wedding in his church rather than the catholic church.  that would be wha'ts called a dispensation.  but it sounds like she wants to be married catholic. Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE] A catholic needs permission to marry someone of another Christian Faith. A Catholic needs a dispensation to marry someone that is not Baptized.
    Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

    <div>Really?  I have never heard of this.  From my (admittedly limited) knowledge, as long as the other person was baptized and agreed to all the Catholic vows, you didn't need to do anything special.  Our priest didn't mention anything like that when we met (and we had to fill out that form that says what religion you belong to), so is it a super informal thing or is that biographical form thing the vehicle they use for that, or what?</div>
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_permission-to-be-maried-in-catholic-church-fiance-divorced-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:a3f1bfda-d286-421e-81fe-09b002bb97c4Post:4cb50fe1-05c1-4212-a769-0d8ed6399179">Re: Permission to be maried in Catholic Church - Fiance divorced - Please help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Permission to be maried in Catholic Church - Fiance divorced - Please help! : A catholic needs permission to marry someone of another Christian Faith. A Catholic needs a dispensation to marry someone that is not Baptized. Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE] Really?  I have never heard of this.  From my (admittedly limited) knowledge, as long as the other person was baptized and agreed to all the Catholic vows, you didn't need to do anything special.  Our priest didn't mention anything like that when we met (and we had to fill out that form that says what religion you belong to), so is it a super informal thing or is that biographical form thing the vehicle they use for that, or what?
    Posted by princessro07[/QUOTE]

    The priests take care of both permission and dispensation, and many times the couple dont even know about it. 
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  • pretzelgrrlpretzelgrrl member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_permission-to-be-maried-in-catholic-church-fiance-divorced-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:a3f1bfda-d286-421e-81fe-09b002bb97c4Post:7bd48a17-9fcb-46cc-8927-3d2a60725b46">Re: Permission to be maried in Catholic Church - Fiance divorced - Please help!</a>:
    [QUOTE] he will need an annulment.  the catholic church recognizes marriages of other faiths as valid. 
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    Fom my experience this is correct and true...you still need an anullment
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  • amandajaredamandajared
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    He will definitely have to get an annulment. My Fiance and I are going through the exact same thing right now. He is Catholic, I am not, I was previously married, at the age of 17 and its still required. 

    We are 8 months in now, and I would say are probably about half way through the process. It has been long, hard, eye opening, depressing, annoying, freeing.. I could go on and on. 

    No matter what happens, you have to remmeber that the tribunal is not your faith, the church is. The tribunal is made up of men and they are just that. There are no emotions involved and it honestly feels like I have been put through the ringer for a marriage that happened when I was still a child. My age alone should be proof of my state of mind at the time of the marriage, but the process still has to be gone through. 

    The ex and I both filled out all of our paperwork (him reluctantly) and the questionarres went out to all of our witnesses. We are currently waiting to hear back from the Tribunal because they asked for an additional 2 witneses that knew me at the time of the marriage to him. Mind you,this was 10 years ago and I was barely 17. Well I dont have anything more to give them so my advocate sent them that reply. And now we are waiting. And waiting. Be prepared to do that, this is not a quick process and is currently running about 18-21 months in my area. (Dallas)

    I do sill feel it is worth it and am fully prepared for a negative response if thats Gods will, but its going to be hard because then I wonder where we go from there. We have the right to appeal, but who knows how long that takes, and why would the outcome be any different? Nothing will change. Its really hard some days but I have a great advocate who I can be honest with about my feelings and who doesnt judge me for them. Remember, I am not catholic, and that makes this all even harder.  Its good to know she is just an email away and at least, she will contact the tribunal for an update if I would like. 

    My only advice would be to fully prepare your fiance for the process and be prepared for a long engagement. Be there for him and make sure he knows how thankful you are for what he is doing for you and your faith, its a very painful process for most who go through with it. I know it has been for me, but it also helped me to find peace with so much in the past, and also brought me and my fiance MUCH closer together. I know that I could stop it all today with one phone call and marry him next week in mexico if I wanted and he would face the consequences with the church but I just cant see me not giving him the one thing I think means the most to him, and thats marrying me, in his home church in front of all of our family and friends. So, one day at a time I go on. And pray for the best. 

    Good Luck!
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  • FystybrideFystybride member
    100 Comments
    Very interesting... My FI and I have had two meetings now with our church, and on both occasions we were assured that since the previous marriages (we each have 2) were not done in the church that they did not count.  I am a new Catholic, and am taking RCIA classes to take my sacraments at Easter, and our wedding to take place April 20.  We were very concerned that we would have to go through many difficulties to get married in the church, but that hasn't been the case with us.  My prayers go out to those that are having so many issues.
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  • turinskyrjturinskyrj
    First Comment
    I am right with amandajared.  I am on month 8 of my annulment.  FI is a practicing Catholic and I am not (married in the Presybterian Church previously; both of us were baptized in the Pres Church).  It has been a long road of emotions thus far. Good to luck to everyone who goes through this.  It is not easy and it is EXTREMELY time consuming. 
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