Am I being crazy

Moonkin · January 2010

This is the short version of a longer problem:
So my fiancee's sister just got engaged (great!) but she's leaning towards a 2010 event on the same date as our wedding a year later (in 2011, already booked.)
I have an emotional attachment to my date, whereas she doesn't care about the actual date.
I don't like the idea of sharing my date, since his sister & I have bad blood, and part of me feels like shes trying to compete. I know I should be the bigger bride, but I'm still annoyed.
Is is okay that I'm upset by this.

kaynix21 · January 2010

I understand being annoyed about it, but deal with it. You are still married before she is. It's still your date.

It's not like she's having the wedding same day same year, obviously.

kmurr010 · January 2010

I disagree with everyone. Sorry. I would be upset bc if you've booked and been planning yours, it feels like she's stealing your thunder, right? It's not so much that it's the same date. it's that she'll do it before you. I totally understand. Maybe you can talk to her about moving it to another date and explain in a calm and rational manner how you feel about it.

MyNameIsNot · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-being-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:05c7ab57-f8ab-4b6a-9fb0-ef8d6261fa29Post:26ce0c60-c311-4136-89c9-c673a9bdd98c">Re: Am I being crazy</a>:
[QUOTE]I disagree with everyone. Sorry. I would be upset bc if you've booked and been planning yours, it feels like she's stealing your thunder, right? <strong>It's not so much that it's the same date. it's that she'll do it before you.</strong> I totally understand. Maybe you can talk to her about moving it to another date and explain in a calm and rational manner how you feel about it.
Posted by kmurr010[/QUOTE]

Are you kidding? So you think the FSIL should have to wait 2 years to get married b/c the OP got engaged first?

trix1223 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-being-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:05c7ab57-f8ab-4b6a-9fb0-ef8d6261fa29Post:e9491be5-6cc6-4215-a0c3-d9c614d0214c">Am I being crazy</a>:
[QUOTE]This is the short version of a longer problem: So my fiancee's sister just got engaged (great!) but she's leaning towards a 2010 event on the same date as our wedding a year later (in 2011, already booked.) I have an emotional attachment to my date, whereas she doesn't care about the actual date. I don't like the idea of sharing my date, since his sister & I have bad blood, and part of me feels like shes trying to compete. I know I should be the bigger bride, but I'm still annoyed. Is is okay that I'm upset by this.
Posted by 6062729523385521[/QUOTE]

No it's not okay that your upset by this. You get one day for your wedding~perhaps the weekend, but sheesh. You don't get a year. And you certainly don't get to take a date that no one can ever do anything on for the rest of your lives.

Honestly, I don't understand how someone is "emotionally attached" to a square on a calendar, but that's me. Don't you think you'll be "emotionally attached" to whatever date you get married on? If your original date is special to you for some reason, swell. Get married on a different day and then you'll have TWO special days.

Personally, I think you're being silly. You can't own a square on a calendar~it's not YOUR date to give or take away.

trix1223 · January 2010

Oh, and can we please lose the dopey little boxes where you "vote" your answer to a question? They're showing up on several boards, and I find them silly and annoying.

megk8oz · January 2010

Since it's not the same date in the same year, I'm really failing to see what the problem is here.

jeannigirl · January 2010

OMG this is silly. Stealing thunder thats a total bridezilla comment. Listen OP let it go and have your wedding the date you want and she has hers when she wants and it works for her and her FI. Noone owns that date.

simply.me · January 2010

Ditto to everyone else. Last year one of my friends got married on my birthday. This year another friend (of FIs really) is also getting married on my birthday. So should I throw a tantrum because they're taking away from my special day?

It's just a date - This could actually be an opportunity to be gracious and perhaps acknowledge your new SIL at your wedding. At my friend's wedding last year, she had the DJ make a quick announcement about my birthday so everyone clapped, etc I thought this was SO SWEET of her and completely unexpected (and unnecessary - I'm not saying you have to do this). It reinforced to me what a caring, thoughtful person she is.

So no, you don't have the right to be upset. Everyone will still be focused on you on your special day.

lyndausvi · January 2010

I fail to see the problem.

kmurr010 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-being-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:05c7ab57-f8ab-4b6a-9fb0-ef8d6261fa29Post:2f9f8088-81b3-42e1-b199-d5a1d20752f1">Re: Am I being crazy</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Am I being crazy : Are you kidding? So you think the FSIL should have to wait 2 years to get married b/c the OP got engaged first?
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

No, i don't think that the FSIL should wait 2 years. but maybe she can pick another day. I am the least bridezilla person, however, I can see where she would be upset. Do I think she has a right to demand that the FSIL changes the date? No. Do I understand why she is upset? Yes.

Maybe she does have an emotional attachement to the date, everyone is different. And I'm sure she's well aware of the fact that hundreds of other people will get married the same day, however those people aren't in her family. I can understand where she is coming from and can see where she would be upset. All I suggested was that she calmly and rationally explain her feelings to her FSIL and maybe they can figure something out.

aerinpegadrak · January 2010

You can't control your feelings, but you can control your reactions. Can she be upset? It's silly, but sure. Should she try to talk her FSIL into changing her date? Absolutely not.

banana468 · January 2010

She may have an emotional attachment to the date, however that doesn't mean that HER attachment should be something that others avoid.

It's up there with saying 'those are my colors'.

megk8oz · January 2010

~Mounts Soapbox, and taps microphone~

Testing, testing ... is this thing on? Oh, we're good?

Ahem.

Ladies, I have an announcement to make: January 1st is officially "off limits".

If you or someone you know (That is not me) is planning on getting married on this date, please let them know now, that they are not allowed to. If you or someone you know (That is not me) has already had the nerve to get married on this date, well, I'm sorry, but you now have to get divorced or have an anullment. If you wish to stay married to your current spouse, then you're just going to have to have the wedding all over again. On a different date. While this may be inconvenient for you, you must understand, I have an emotional attachment to this date, and I just can't bear the thought of sharing it with anybody else.

Also, I am currently proposing a bill to Congress that will have New Year's Day officially re-named "Meg's Anniversary". If you support my cause, please sign my petition on my Facebook Group: "January 1st Belongs To Meg". If you do not support my cause ... well, I'll just have to have you eliminated, as I now view you as a personal threat to my happiness.

Thank you and have a good day.

~dismounts soapbox~

megk8oz · January 2010

OP, please note, I meant that all in good fun, and I really didn't mean to offend.

I can honestly see how you might be a little annoyed by it if you don't get along with her (I have BSC "friend" that would have made it a point to annoy me with something like this ... but she's immature enough to go around saying "Yes, and Meg is so desperate to be just like me that she's even getting married on the same date as me"-sadly, I'm not exagerating this) ... but anything more than "a little annoyed" seems like an over-reaction, imo.

ocgirl310 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-being-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:05c7ab57-f8ab-4b6a-9fb0-ef8d6261fa29Post:26ce0c60-c311-4136-89c9-c673a9bdd98c">Re: Am I being crazy</a>:
[QUOTE]I disagree with everyone. Sorry. I would be upset bc if you've booked and been planning yours, it feels like she's stealing your thunder, right? It's not so much that it's the same date. it's that she'll do it before you. I totally understand. Maybe you can talk to her about moving it to another date and explain in a calm and rational manner how you feel about it.
Posted by kmurr010[/QUOTE]

I agree with this lady, I understand too! I would be upset, I understand you only get one day but it seems intentional that she wants to get under your skin especially if you don't get along. Unfortunately there really isn't anything you can do about moving her date, but I understand your emotions.

P.S. OP- as i'm sure you have figured out by now, it is probably better to talk about this with your fiance or friend, some people who don't know you are quick to judge and are absolutely not sympathetic. good luck with everything, i'm sure your wedding will be beautiful and unique no matter the date or time of year!

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