Wedding Planning and Job Hunting?!?! Any Adivce? (long)

Sunshine811 · May 2012

Hi Everyone,

I've been MIA for a bit here dealing with some personal issues, mostly my job. I've worked at the same company for over 5 years, and have always been mostly satisfied with my work, until 8 months ago when I got a new supervisor. I am not trying to brag, but I have always been recognized by all levels of my organization for doing an outstanding job, and since I got this new supervisor things have completely changed. I'm "talked to" constantly, overlooked for big projects that I would have been a part of in the past, and treated with complete disrespect and diregard. My performance has NOT changed, and even after I "improve" one thing he wants, he's back with something else I need to work on... anyway thats not where I was meaning to go with this convo....

I was already planning to look for a new job, but was going to wait until after the wedding. Well, lately, things have gotten way worse and I can't go a day at work without crying and I can't take it anymore. If we were in a better financial position (i.e. not planning a wedding) I would probably just walk out, but I can't. So, I've Decided to start my job search now (maybe just to appease myself that I'm doing something about a terrible situation). I'm worried about the time I need to commit to this search and the amount of work I have left to do before the wedding, I'm also worried because we are going on a honeymoon after the wedding, and I'm not sure how a new employer will take that... (although I know not to say anything until an offer is made). I'm also just really sad because this whole situation has ruined my usual happy demeanor and made my life and my wedding planning more stressful and not enjoyable.

So, any way, any advice/words of encouragement/suggestions would be very appreciated. Thanks, ladies.

mtbentley · May 2012

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time at work. I am struggling with finding a new job as well. I was only hired for a temporary project but they now have me doing regular office work and a few months back told me they were going to try to get me added to the full time staff, then a month ago they went and cut my hours in half with no explination. I am assuming they aren't planning to keep me much longer. I was really hoping this place would hire me full time even though it has nothing to do with what my degree is in, I have been trying to get a job in my field for three years since I graduated, it is really depressing. I was able to find a second part time job to make up for the loss of income but I really need something full time with benefits asap.

As for job hunting while wedding planning, I would just say to keep them separate, designate a day to sending out your resume and looking for jobs and another day to wedding stuff. If you try to do both at the same time you wont be able to give either your full attention and it will sress you out even more.

Good luck, don't let this all bring you down, you will find something better.

KTina&BJ · May 2012

Sorry your stressed. This happened to me about a year and a half ago. It ended in my new supervisor making up a huge lie which I was terminated for. I ended up proving my innocence and having my postion offered back to me but there was so much hurt and damage from the comapny that I declined. I have been a stay at home mom since and couldnt be happier

fortunatly my FI has a very good job and we can afford it and on the side I run a part time day care in my home.

As stressful as it would be to add a job search to your list I feel that you should do what you need to not be in such a crappy situation. I loved my job that I had but with all the bull I was dealing with when the new supervisor came it was a way better situation for me to get out of. Have faith and things will work out. Good luck!

h1jung · May 2012

So my FI is actively interviewing at other places and one close offer is based across the country. If he gets this offer I think we are both going to get it bc it's such a good opportunity for him. Regarding the wedding planning, I've been doing more of it and we have a pretty supportive family and wedding party. Also since we're having a destination wedding we have a wedding planner that has made the whole planning process. Very painless... Maybe you can do a lot of planning now and get it out of the way, delegate some tasks, and then concentrate your efforts into job hunting. Seeing how much my FI is stressed about his current job I think it's worth it.

frantastic12 · May 2012

Keep your head up! I was in a similar situation last year, right after FI and I got engaged. We got engaged in May, and I was offered a new job in August.

I made sure I averaged at least 30min a day on looking for a new job, working on my resume, etc. Sometimes I'd end up doing no job searching during the week and 3-4 hours on Saturday, but I made sure I put the time towards it. As far as wedding planning, I delegated stuff to FI when possible.

Don't worry about the time you have scheduled for your wedding/honeymooon. New employers are ususally excited to hire someone who fits their open position, and are most likely willing to work around things as important as a wedding. Also, I don't mean to discourage you, and I don't know what line of work you're in, but it might take longer than 3 months to find something new, unfortunately. It took me a year before I was offered my current position, which was much longer than expected.

Just don't be afraid to ask for help, whether it be from your FI, parents, etc.

rungirl12 · May 2012

I agree with the poster who said to keep job searching & wedding planning separate. Block off 2 hours of time to work solely on updating your resume and scanning what's out there (monster.com is my fav resource). By blocking off chunks of time solely for job searching, you will feel MUCH better about your situation because you are taking initiative to change it.

Don't worry about the honeymoon vacation time either. I had a week long trip planned when I was offered my current job (same company, different department). I was told I HAD to be available the first week for training which was when my trip was - this was during the interview. I told them after they offered it to me and it was no big deal to reschedule the training. Believe it or not, most employers want YOU just as much as you want their job offer and will bend over backwards to accomodate you. My cousin just got hired somewhere at 8 months pregnant and then said she had to take a medical leave and couldn't start for 1.5 months - they wanted her and said that was fine and just postponed the start date. Just deal with the little bumps as they come! Happy searching!

saraschilling88 · May 2012

So sorry you are being stressed out because of work.. That is never fun

I agree with PPs to keep your job searching separate from wedding planning, it will keep you more focused

Good luck with your search, I hope you are able to find something that isn't as stressful!!

Wedding Planning and Job Hunting?!?! Any Adivce? (long)

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