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Brother Issues

kibbles93kibbles93 member
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in Chit Chat

Hello all, My fiance and I were discussing the guest list a while back and he absolutely refuses to invite my brother. My brother and I have never really gotten along, and a while ago he got into a physical fight with my fiance. I don't really want him at my wedding because of the tension between us, and my Fiance says he will have him thrown out if he does show up. I can only imagine the uproar my family will cause though if I do not invite him, After all, he is my brother. So should I send an invitation or tell him I'm getting married at all? HELP!!

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Re: Brother Issues

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    FutureHuttoFutureHutto member
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    I think the past is the past, and if you three can't be adults and celebrate a wonderful day, then don't invite him.You will probably regret it. Family is family. You may not always agree or like each other but one day when your parents are gone, you guys will tell your children all of the stories about you two growing up. Imagine how he would feel if he wasn't invited to the wedding, then you guys become close again. There was a milestone he wasn't there. The least you could do, is send an invite. If he accepts, he is willing to put things behind him and be an adult. If he declines, then oh well, someone is still throwing a temper tantram. Your fiance' needs to calm down too. Its y'alls day, two families become one. Your brother is your brother, they will be brothers, whether they like it or not. 
    Britt1893 is now FutureHutto!
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    FinallytheSunFinallytheSun member
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    You shouldn't invite anyone who is a threat to other's or to the overall day.  But, he IS your brother...I know how you feel.  Have you considered a 3rd neautral party- a therapist.  A session or two and you would probably be able to move forward with or without him.

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    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_brother-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:25758ede-96dc-4943-9d1e-3c4144ec2ab2Post:95fc7648-b61c-47d4-940a-8c65587e3393">Re: Brother Issues</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think the past is the past, and if you three can't be adults and celebrate a wonderful day, then don't invite him.You will probably regret it. Family is family. You may not always agree or like each other but one day when your parents are gone, you guys will tell your children all of the stories about you two growing up. Imagine how he would feel if he wasn't invited to the wedding, then you guys become close again. There was a milestone he wasn't there. The least you could do, is send an invite. If he accepts, he is willing to put things behind him and be an adult. If he declines, then oh well, someone is still throwing a temper tantram. Your fiance' needs to calm down too. Its y'alls day, two families become one. Your brother is your brother, they will be brothers, whether they like it or not. 
    Posted by FutureHutto[/QUOTE]

    Jesus, what a load of crap. OP, don't listen to this "family is family" BS. He physically assaulted your FI.  You are well within your rights to not invite him. Shared DNA doesn't give anybody the right to be abusive and it doesn't mean you need to bend over and take it with a smile.

    FutureHutto, does your "family is family" logic apply across the board? What if is was sexual assault? Would you still recommend that the bride be the bigger person and send the invite because blood is thicker than water?
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    kibbles93kibbles93 member
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    Thanks, I appreciate all the helpful comments! I guess I will have to see how things pan out :)
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    FutureHuttoFutureHutto member
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    No. It isn't across the board. I see where you're coming from, and it really does open up new ideas about the situation. 
    Britt1893 is now FutureHutto!
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