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North Carolina

Will you please wear these colors?!?!

My wedding colors are black and white with a dash of red. Those aren't just my volors but my theme Do you think people would take offense if I requestedin the invitation that they stick with those colors in choosing their wedding attire? I'm pretty sure that those are colors that EVERYONE has in their closet so it's not like I'd be asking that they go out and spend money JUST for my wedding. Would YOU be offended?

Re: Will you please wear these colors?!?!

  • meredithl618meredithl618 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    IMO, you should not request specific colors for your guests to wear.  I would be annoyed if I had to do this for a wedding.  

    You should be glad that your guests are attending and not force(or even ask) them to wear specific colors.  If you want, you could indicate the formality of dress, but even that isn't necessary.  Most people know how to dress for weddings; they won't want to feel like they need to pick an outfit to coordinate with the wedding. That is just overkill and not necessary.  I think it would end up making you look like very high maintenance. Your wedding may be important to them, but honestly, no one cares about your day as much as you and your FI/family. Asking guests to wear something specific, even if they own it already, is weird. 
     
    Why is it so important to you that they wear these colors? 

  • edited December 2011
    All of our guests will be family.

    We are an interracial couple. Originally there was a Bride's side and Grooms side for seating. Well... we realized how segregated our wedding pictures would look. Then, we had to decide on different wedding colors because what worked well with my family's skin tone completely washed his out. It was horrible.

    A sea of colors grates on my nerves. I absolutely hate it. I don't want to look at my wedding pictures and see that.

    I don't believe that anyone will consider me high maintainence. You'd have to meet me to understand. I'm a total, "if it makes it easier for you, i'll totally go out of my way" type of person.

    Maybe it isn't such a good idea though. I'll discuss it with him and see what his feelings are. Thanks!
  • NcsuPsychNcsuPsych member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Meredith hit it on the head.

    You can request your BP to wear these colors, but I think asking your guests to wear specific colors is odd and I personally would probably be offended.

    The furthest I would take it would be on the formality area, but again as Meredith said most people know how to dress at weddings (most. . not all).

    If you want a 'Black Tie' type, make sure to follow through with this in the planning process. I don't think I've actually seen a full 'Black Tie' wedding in a LONG time!

    Good luck!
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  • NcsuPsychNcsuPsych member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We didn't do the 'brides side and grooms side'
    people got to sit where they wanted. We wanted them to sit together (which they did for the most part) because we were becoming one family :o)
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  • edited December 2011
    I would be really annoyed if I were told to wear a certain color to a wedding and wasn't in the bridal party. You may not be high maintenance, but what you're asking your guests to do it. You can try to control every other detail of your wedding (which might border on bridezilla), but you need to draw the line for a guest color coordinated wedding.

    How many pictures do you plan on having of your guests sitting at the ceremony? As for the reception, it would be weird not to mingle everyone in! 
  • uneek1323uneek1323 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You don't want your families segregated (which I agree with) but a sea of colors grates on your nerves? Am I missing something?

    Please don't tell your guests what to wear. If you told me I had to wear black, white or red, I would show up in a charming yellow dress.
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  • edited December 2011
    Lol, uneek, that's horrible!!! Lol
    Nope, you're not missing anything. I don't like mass amounts of color together and would hate to see it in my wedding pictures. It isn't just pictures of them seated. It's all of the pictures, of which there will be lots.

    It's a few hours of their life. I don't think it will kill them. At least I surely hope not!
    I would do it for any one of them. I swear!

    I hate that this is making me appear high maintainence or like a "bridezilla" I will probably just get everybody together at our next family gathering and ask them.
  • edited December 2011
    Well...it seems like you've already made up your mind on this, so I don't think any of our opinions really matter.

    Good luck! 
  • pirategal03pirategal03 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_will-please-wear-colors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:85c23193-0444-4234-81cd-b912b076069cPost:b1f4182f-e552-46c3-90bf-ad30f92c79a9">Re: Will you please wear these colors?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Lol, uneek, that's horrible!!! Lol Nope, you're not missing anything. I don't like mass amounts of color together and would hate to see it in my wedding pictures. It isn't just pictures of them seated. It's all of the pictures, of which there will be lots. It's a few hours of their life. I don't think it will kill them. At least I surely hope not! I would do it for any one of them. I swear! I hate that this is making me appear high maintainence or like a "bridezilla" I will probably just get everybody together at our next family gathering and ask them.
    Posted by Rain2rinse[/QUOTE]

    If I received an invitation to a wedding asking me to wear a specific color I'd be annoyed.  I'd think that whomever planned the event was childish, this isn't a middle school "black and white" dance we're talking about, it's a wedding.  Aren't there more important details to worry about than what the guests wear?  I would also think that whomever planned the event was pretty self-centered, telling people what to wear is a pretty bold thing to do.

    It's not just a couple hours of their life you're talking about.  It's the perception of you that you're allowing these people to form. 

    For me, it would leave a pretty bad taste in my mouth.  I would be offended that I was told how to dress (this goes for any mention of attire on a wedding invitation escept "black tie"), and I would have to consider whether I was attending, and would likely ignore the attire request and wear whatever I wanted anyway.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_will-please-wear-colors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:115Discussion:85c23193-0444-4234-81cd-b912b076069cPost:27b60960-850a-43dc-933b-345575a029d7">Re: Will you please wear these colors?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will you please wear these colors?!?! : If I received an invitation to a wedding asking me to wear a specific color I'd be annoyed.  I'd think that whomever planned the event was childish, this isn't a middle school "black and white" dance we're talking about, it's a wedding.  Aren't there more important details to worry about than what the guests wear?  I would also think that whomever planned the event was pretty self-centered, telling people what to wear is a pretty bold thing to do. It's not just a couple hours of their life you're talking about.  It's the perception of you that you're allowing these people to form.  For me, it would leave a pretty bad taste in my mouth.  I would be offended that I was told how to dress (this goes for any mention of attire on a wedding invitation escept "black tie"), and I would have to consider whether I was attending, and would likely ignore the attire request and wear whatever I wanted anyway.
    Posted by pirategal03[/QUOTE]

    She couldn't have said it any better. I totally agree with everyone's response.
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  • edited December 2011
    I completely agree.  Although you may be easy going and wouldn't care, not everyone is quite like that.  I am an extremely easy going person but even I would have an issue with someone telling me what to wear - whether I owned that color or not.  Bridezilla would definitely run across my mind - even if it was my very best friend or sister...I would think she is nuts!

    I have never looked at wedding pictures and thought that the 'sea of color' was distracting...what you do see are all the ppl that love you all in one room smiling and laughing - wearing what they see fitting for your event! 

    And to be honest, if you are planning an evening event, probably most women will wear dark dresses and men in dark suits.
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  • alliegator8alliegator8 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PP. I wouldn't tell everyone what colors they are allowed to wear.  I think sticking with something like a blak tie event or another theme might work out better without offending anyone one.  I had a beach wedding. On our website we said that nice beach attire was the theme.  No shorts, but flipflops and hawaiian shirts were ok.  There were some people who still came in ties and suit jackets, but I wasn't about to ask them to leave b/c they didn't do the beach theme.

    So I guess the question is what would you do it someone showed up wearing something different?

    Also, I would encourage everyone to sit together.  We didn't do "my side, his side". If we had, his side would have been completely filled and mine empty since his family is huge. let people know they are free to sit where ever and even encourage them to mingle and meet everyone else.

    Good luck.
  • edited December 2011
    Hey, I dont think it's so bad!! im right there with ya :) We are having a destination wedding with under 20 guests. Here is the wording for our invitation insert:

    "Although we have chosen not to have a wedding party, our guests are comprised of our closest friends and family. We would like all of you to be a part of our wedding pictures.  We request that men wear tan pants and white shirts for pictures and women wear colors that coordinate with the wedding." 

    I'm going to add that it's entirely optional though. Im still working on the wording,  I think you can send out a fun, black/white/red invitation and spin it in a way that wont annoy your guests. 
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  • detecsgurldetecsgurl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This just happened to me last year while attending a wedding...I DID NOT wear the colors asked to wear...I wore what I wanted to wear!!! I did not feel that it was right to ask the guest to wear a ceratin color....I really upset me that they even thought to ask everyone attending to wear ceratin colors!!!
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