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Shower guest list question

katiebakakatiebaka member
10 Comments
in Pre-wedding Parties
I've got two quick questions. My sister and mom are throwing me a shower and they are planning to invite pretty much every female on our half of the wedding guest list, which is like 75 people! I thought that was way too much, and the shower is only really supposed to be for closer family and friends. I feel like people we don't see very often would think I'm being kind of gift grabby...

Second, today my mom mentioned that it was proper etiquette to invite my bridesmaids' moms to the shower. I don't really care because I only have 2 bridesmaids that aren't already family, but one of them I don't know her mom very well, and the other I've never even met. Is that proper etiquette? Are they supposed to be invited??

Thanks!
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Re: Shower guest list question

  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You're right on both. The shower should really only be close family and friends, not the entire female guest list for the wedding. See if you can talk to them and tell them you'd be much more comfortable with a smaller list of people you are closest to. 

    Also, I've never heard of inviting the BMs moms. And they shouldn't be inviting anyone who isn't invited to the wedding anyway, which it sounds like at least one of those moms isn't. 
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  • katiebakakatiebaka member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks! That's what I thought. I'll let her know about the BMs moms. Not sure what to do about the rest of the guest list--to be honest, the bulk of it is family, it's just family we don't see SUPER often. So I'm not sure how/where we should draw the line.
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  • AdamMelissaAdamMelissa member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the first post. I am inviting very close friends and family, those are the people I see on a regular basis and that I am comfortable with. 
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  • SCogs18SCogs18 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    As PPs have said, if they aren't invited to the wedding, they shouldn't be at your shower.  That said, since you are obviously not the host of the shower you can't really control the rest of the guest list.  The most I would suggest doing is saying something like "Mom/Sister, I am so grateful that you are hosting a shower for me and I love you so much, but do you think a slightly smaller afair might be a little more intimate and enjoyable to everyone?  I want to be able to socialize with all our guests and I worry I won't be able to do that if we invite 75 ladies" and hope they take the hint.
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    image 225 Invited so far!
    image 148 Are ready to party!
    image 77 Will be missing out!
    image 0 Are MIA!
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