Wedding Party

How to ask your BMs?

What's a unique & cute way to ask my friends to be my BMs?

Re: How to ask your BMs?

  • edited August 2012
    Honestly I prefer to just be asked if someone wants me in their wedding. Going out for lunch or coffee or calling me up if we're long distance and making it sincere is always better IMO than trying to come up with something "creative," which is probably not all that unique because it's been done by thousands of brides before anyway.

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  • I would dread being in a wedding where I was asked to be a BM in a "unique and cute" way.  It would make me think that the bride was going to be making "unique and cute" a priority over making the experience actually enjoyable.

    Just ask.  Tell them how much they mean to you and that you couldn't imagine getting married without them.  Seriously, not everything has to be a production.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • All of my BMs were long distance, so I called each, and I also had a really nice personalized card made later on that I sent in the mail.

    Some of the cutesy ("Creative") things are pretty cheesy for adult women. One of the worst I've seen was a poem:

    "Joe popped the question,
    I said YES!
    Would you wear a bridesmaids dress?"

    gag me with a spoon....Tongue out
  • One person's cheesy is another person's cute.
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  • I just asked mine. They know I'm not super creative so there was no point in me doing something cutesy. 
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  • I asked my sister to be my MOH at a family dinner. I asked my cousin over the phone (because she lives an hour away), and my best friend in person.

    Nothing fancy, just asked them if they would be my maids :)
  • Two I had face to face privately. The other two I was having a hard time finding a private moment with. So I invited them to go dress shopping with me. After we found my dress & everything squared away we were looking at some of the formal gowns there, prom dresses were already out. So jokingly I go so would you wear this as a bridesmaid, noo, what about this dress?  Nooo. Then I go well if I got a more normal dress would you be my bridesmaid? They started crying because they realized right away what I meant.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Just ask in person or call them.  Cutsy cards and proposals cheapen the gesture.  

    What if your FI asked you to marry him by mailing you a cookie instead of saying something special to you in person?
  • First of all, anyone who truly DESERVES to be in your wedding is going to care less how you ask them because it means they are THAT close to you in life that you could ask them sitting with curlers in your hair and face cream on your face...If a person needs a creative way to be asked, they probably aren't that close of a friend to you. Just ask
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Just ask the person.  Skip the cutesy ideas.  
  • arg I hate this trend of making a big show of asking them. It's a personal thing, just ask them. Do it in person if you can, if not call them.  had dinner/lunch with each girl and called the one in CA. Follow it up with a nice card in the mail like PP said, if you really have to. But I'd be really annoyed if I got those cookies in the mail (like a lot of brides seem to do latley?) asking me rather than a phone call or personal chat on the phone.
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  • I mailed a cutesy card. They loved it, or at least that's what they tell me to my face.
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  • I just asked mine and to be honest, the people you're going to ask probably assume or know they'll be involved with your wedding somehow to begin with.  Every little detail of weddings lately has to be a big to do.  Just old school ask over coffee like "hey whats up, wanna stand in my wedding?  Thanks.  Did you watch such and such on tv last night?"
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  • I went the "cutesy" route.  I invited all my bridesmaids to dinner and then gave them a card with the "cutey" question.  They all loved it.  Even the girl at Walmart who printed out my cards when I picked them out said they were the best idea she has ever seen.  I say go for whatever is your personality.  My friends loved it.



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