How soon is too soon?

sweetpea0911 · February 2010

We set a date! September 10, 2011....about a year and 7 months from now. We are very excited, and our parents are beginning to come down off the "rushing it" pedestal, now that they know "how soon" we're getting married (his father and sister still aren't thrilled, but you can't please everyone. We're happy and so is everyone else, so they can stick it in their juicebox and suck it!)

How soon is too soon to start going to bridal shows and such? I know there are some coming up in the area that we are going to be getting married (NE PA, where he is from), but I'm not sure if I should wait til we hit the "year mark" before I start attending those things. My mom said "it's never too soon to look for a dress" but what about everything else?

Thanks =]

SweetPea

AmoroAgain · February 2010

I think there is a "too soon" really. It's okay to look at ideas, but don't get set on anything. I also wouldn't look for a dress before you get to the year or just under mark. Between now and then, styles will change, new dresses will come out and if you buy too early, you run the risk of ending up a 2 (or more) dress bride.

As for bridal shows, well, I'm not a fan of those. You'll end up getting bombarded with emails and vendor requests and it can be annoying plus get you into something you don't need to be in. Just remember that while you ARE excited, you don't have to start putting money down on anything, chooising BM's, sending out save the dates and all that. Just enjoy for a while! You'll get consumed with all this stuff at some point anyway, you may as well just be happy to be engaged right now.

[Deleted User] · February 2010

Sweet Pea,

I disagree...do what feels right to you! If youre excited and want to go to bridal shows for ideas, contacts etc, then go. If you want to go look at dresses, then go. It doesnt mean you have to make decisions or buy right now, unless again, you want to. If you find a dress you love now, why not get it? If you find a vendor you love, why not use them. I think the more time you have to plan, the more youll realize what you like and most importantly what you DONT like. There are NO rules. Have fun with it!

Blu

spaje · February 2010

I think the sooner you start looking, the better. Just don't get too set... like it was said above, new styles come out, new things come up. But at least you can get ideas. some Venues require a year or more out to reserve, so looking is probably a good idea. Just don't sign any contracts or BUY anything unless your absolutely positive about it. Most of all, have fun... (ok, I'm one to talk... just got engaged last month myself, and our wedding is set tentatively for July. 2011... so I know where you're comming from with this one.) Perhaps start making out a list of people you want to invite (including his fam and friends) and get a theoretical head count. That way, you can plan for the "if everybody you invite shows up"... then how many in your party do you have questions from the vendors and prospective vendors. ENJOY! and CONGRATS!

[Deleted User] · February 2010

Sweet Pea, I disagree...do what feels right to you! If youre excited and want to go to bridal shows for ideas, contacts etc, then go. If you want to go look at dresses, then go. It doesnt mean you have to make decisions or buy right now, unless again, you want to. If you find a dress you love now, why not get it? Why not buy it? Because like me, you could gain 15lbs and it not fit and be scrambling 4 weeks out to lose weight. You could decide you hate it after a few months and decide you want another dress. Tons of reasons. If you find a vendor you love, why not use them. Because you can keep looking for better deals, better vendors, the wedding date may change (ours did!), on and on. Booking things a year out is fine, otherwise, there's no rush. I think the more time you have to plan, the more youll realize what you like and most importantly what you DONT like. Like the dress she might buy at a year and a half out. There are NO rules. Yes there are. Have fun with it! Blu
Posted by blueydbabi

Wow, not everyone gains weight, decides they hate a dress a year later, or changes their date. I completely understand that there are things that can happen, but it doesnt mean that you cant start looking and planning. Like I said, there is no harm in looking! I would love to know the RULES if someone can send them to me in an email. She isnt saying she's going out tomorrow to BUY or BOOK, the question was is it too soon to get into bridal shows, dress shopping etc. The answer is no. Seriously, this is SUPPOSED to be fun!!

mwhitson14 · February 2010

No, not everyone does, but your question was, Why not get it now, and I was answering that. There are a lot of reasons not to get it now.

No one said she can't start planning and looking, we're saying don't book or buy anything this early.

Rules? Visit the Etiquette board. Emily mentioned one, don't pick your wedding party right away.

luckyme502 · February 2010

I think for looking and getting ideas, it's not too soon.

SarahPLiz · February 2010

I think that given the novelty of your date (9/10/11), you might want to look at booking your venue pretty early, but then slow down on the planning. DOn't ask your WP until 6-8 months out. DOn't sign any contracts except maybe the venue contract now, though.

I think its ok to get ideas and to go to shows to see what is available in your area and get a good idea what things cost, so you can determine a realistic budget.

stina_916 · February 2010

PLEASE PLEASE BE CAREFUL ON BOOKING YOUR CATERER! I booked them first along with my Venue a year in advance and my contract was sold to 3 different caterers because the companies closed. I was forced to deal with each caterer they would not refund what I paid. Now Im stuck with a caterer that wont return phone calls or emails. When I say im forced I mean Since no refund I can't afford to lose that money I already paid for another caterer.

Good Luck with your planning. I say do what makes you happy. Bridal shows you can get good discounts if you book that day. I do also agree on the dress, new styles will come out, you might change your mind on so many things.

sweetpea0911 · February 2010

Thanks for all the advice, I really do appreciate it.

We're going to look and hopefully book a venue in the next few months. It's going to be harder because of our date, but we're asking my reverend from home to perform the ceremony, which will be held in his hometown...so the whole "can we use your church, but not your pastor" thing, which apparently can be quite difficult in his town.

Everything else, I'm mostly just looking for prices because we are definitely on a budget for this wedding. I'm going to be DIYing a lot of it, but there are some things I infinitely refuse to try because I know myself and I will screw. it. up. - like the bouquets! X.x

Thanks again for all the advice!

SweetPea

elizabeth_g229 · February 2010

I say go for it! I'm getting married in about 2 years (maybe less if I can get FI to change the date!) but I have already chosen my dress! I might get scolded by people on here and yada yada yada but my mom owns a wedding dress store in our hometown so naturally when I got engaged I went towards dresses first and fell in love with a beautiful lace gown! And if I gain/lose weight, my mom is a seamstress

Depending on where you live, venues book up, so go ahead and look at some! Have some fun! It's never too early to get ideas, now is the time to choose colors so you have plently of time to change your mind!

So, to me, it's never too soon! Good luck and happy planning!

Vintagelove4 · November 2012

It's never too soon to start looking for the dress. Though keep in mind you might like a different style a year or more down the road.

How soon is too soon?

Re: How soon is too soon?

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