Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged

slunder · November 2012

Hey everyone! This is my first post, but I figured if ever there were people to offer advice, it would be here!

My boyfriend of almost 4 years and I have been talking about weddings for quite some time, and have recently decided to be married in May 2013 (yes, that is a mere 6 months away!) We're planning a very low key (roughly 70-80 of our closest friends and family), simple wedding that just showcases our love for each other (our mantra being "we're not planning for a wedding, but rather for the marriage that follows").

We've booked our photographer, I've purchased my dress, and we're looking at unique venues that will accomodate our ceremony and dessert reception. Things are moving along wonderfully considering the abruptness of it all, however the only issue is that because we don't have an engagement ring (and HTB is a stickler for traditions like that) we haven't told any of our family yet.

To be honest, my mother is in an extremly unhappy marriage, and is against anyone else taking the leap...she's one of my closest friends, and I'm really unsure how to break it to her. I also feel like people won't see the validity yet as we aren't "officially" engaged.

Anyone have any ideas how to cope with these isues? This is the man of my dreams, my best friend, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him. I just hope that other's will be able to see it in the same light.

cu97tiger · November 2012

In Response to Re:Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged:[QUOTE]Hey everyone! This is my first post, but I figured if ever there were people to offer advice, it would be here!nbsp; My boyfriend of almost 4 years and I have been talking about weddings for quitenbsp; some time, and have recently decided to be married in May 2013 yes, that is a mere 6 months away! We're planning a very low key roughly 7080 of our closest friends and family, simple wedding that just showcases our love for each other our mantra being "we're not planning for a wedding, but rather for the marriage that follows".nbsp; We've booked our photographer, I've purchased my dress, and we're looking at unique venues that will accomodate our ceremony and dessert reception. Things are moving along wonderfully considering the abruptness of it all, however the only issue is that because we don't have an engagement ring and HTB is a stickler for traditions like that we haven't told any of our family yet. nbsp;To be honest, my mother is in an extremly unhappy marriage, and is against anyone else taking the leap...she's one of my closest friends, and I'm really unsure how to break it to her. I also feel like people won't see the validity yet as we aren't "officially" engaged. nbsp;Anyone have any ideas how to cope with these isues? This is the man of my dreams, my best friend, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him. I just hope that other's will be able to see it in the same light. Posted by slunder[/QUOTE]

So, it seems like you haven't really lurked here, and since we don't really know you, it will be hard for us to give you too much relevant advice. I'll give it a shot though.

1 Talk to your BF. Are you engaged? The ring doesn't make it an engagement, the agreement to get married does.
2 If you aren't engaged, stop planning. That is actually what the engagement period is actually for.
3 Regarding your BF's mom: you two are adults. Not everyone will always agree with your decisions, or be as excited about them as you are. This is good practice for communicating a decision you've made that won't necessarily be met with cheers.

SKP82 · November 2012

If your "husband to be" doesn't consider you "engaged" before proposing with a ring, you shouldn't have planned your entire wedding already. You can be engaged without a ring, but it doesn't sound like that's something your BF is comfortable with.

Basically, your whole post is why we tell people to not plan their wedding until they're engaged.

What happens if he doesn't propose before the "wedding"?

LaSak87 · November 2012

rusngl2 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:f3cb7e0a-1c56-40bf-b6d4-307cf7a2ab39">Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey everyone! This is my first post, but I figured if ever there were people to offer advice, it would be here! My boyfriend of almost 4 years and I have been talking about weddings for quite some time, <font color="#FF0000">and have recently decided to be married in May 2013</font> (yes, that is a mere 6 months away!) We're planning a very low key (roughly 70-80 of our closest friends and family), simple wedding that just showcases our love for each other (our mantra being "we're not planning for a wedding, but rather for the marriage that follows"). We've booked our photographer, I've purchased my dress, and we're looking at unique venues that will accomodate our ceremony and dessert reception. Things are moving along wonderfully considering the abruptness of it all, however the only issue is that because we don't have an engagement ring (and HTB is a stickler for traditions like that) we haven't told any of our family yet. To be honest, my mother is in an extremly unhappy marriage, and is against anyone else taking the leap...she's one of my closest friends, and I'm really unsure how to break it to her<font color="#FF0000">. I also feel like people won't see the validity yet as we aren't "officially" engaged.</font> Anyone have any ideas how to cope with these isues? This is the man of my dreams, my best friend, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him. <font color="#FF0000">I just hope that other's will be able to see it in the same light.</font>
Posted by slunder[/QUOTE]
OK couple of things that stick out to me from your post, as PP have said a ring does not an engagement make. It doesn't make it any more "Official" to have one. A ring is a pretty piece of jewelry (usually) and that's it.

If you and your HTB have decided to get married TOGETHER and have planned out a wedding TOGETHER then IMO you are engaged. But the only opinion that matters should be yours and your HTB.

Your hoping that other people will see it in the same light causes me to worry about how thick your skin is, who cares how others see your relationship with HTB. If he makes you happy all others really need to do is keep their yaps shut if they disagree. It's your life to live as you see fit. Listen to advice from people who's opinions you respect but when it comes down to it you get to make the final decision. GL and Congrats

LaSak87 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:efc510a5-aa2f-4839-bc09-3bba68c41e64">Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged : If you and your HTB have decided to get married TOGETHER and have planned out a wedding TOGETHER then IMO you are engaged. But the only opinion that matters should be yours and your HTB.
Posted by rusngl2[/QUOTE]
THIS. If you're worried about him not "proposing" by the time the wedding rolls around, does he in fact know that a wedding is planned for May 2013? If you have decided to get married, set a date, and planned a wedding, then that sounds like an engagement.

Elle1036 · November 2012

I didn't know this kind of thing actually happened.

ravenray · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:f3cb7e0a-1c56-40bf-b6d4-307cf7a2ab39">Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey everyone! This is my first post, but I figured if ever there were people to offer advice, it would be here! My boyfriend of almost 4 years and I have been talking about weddings for quite some time, and have recently decided to be married in May 2013 (yes, that is a mere 6 months away!) We're planning a very low key (roughly 70-80 of our closest friends and family), simple wedding that just showcases our love for each other (our mantra being "we're not planning for a wedding, but rather for the marriage that follows"). We've booked our photographer, I've purchased my dress, and we're looking at unique venues that will accomodate our ceremony and dessert reception. Things are moving along wonderfully considering the abruptness of it all, however the only issue is that because we don't have an engagement ring (and HTB is a stickler for traditions like that) we haven't told any of our family yet. To be honest, my mother is in an extremly unhappy marriage, and is against anyone else taking the leap...she's one of my closest friends, and I'm really unsure how to break it to her. I also feel like people won't see the validity yet as we aren't "officially" engaged. Anyone have any ideas how to cope with these isues? This is the man of my dreams, my best friend, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him. I just hope that other's will be able to see it in the same light.
Posted by slunder[/QUOTE]

<div><p style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:10.5pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:8.5pt;">It sounds like you and your BF are planning your wedding together. Have you asked him why he hasn't proposed? Maybe he doesn't feel the need seeing how anyone would except you're engaged because you are planning a wedding. A wedding set to happen in 6 months. What happens if he doesn't propose?? Are you calling off the wedding? I would put all of your wedding plans on hold, have a talk with you BF, find out his priorities, are you engaged, if not when will you be getting engaged. Why are you in such a rush to have the wedding in April? </span></p> <p style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:10.5pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:8.5pt;">As for your mom, you can't expect everyone to be happy for you. When you are engaged tell her, seeing as you aren't then don't until you are. </span></p></div><div>
</div>

suzie211 · November 2012

Just like many of the pp's stated an engagement ring alone does not make an engagement. It's a nice token to have, but is just an outward symbol of an agreement two people made to marry each other and not a neccesary one. The same goes for a wedding celebration. The day alone has nothing to do with a marriage. It is just a way to show the world your commitment. What you choose to do with or without a ring is up to you.

If you and your SO have communicated and planned this together, then congrats you're engaged. If not, you need to have a long talk about what your next steps are in your relationship.

I'm sorry that you're concerned with your mom's feelings so much. Yes, it would be nice for everyone to be happy for all of your decisions, but life doesn't work that way. If you are in a healthy relationship that makes you happy, there is no reason to hide this. She'll either get over it or she won't. That's life.

Good luck.

alleycat821 · November 2012

Sounds to me like you are engaged. Have you talked to him about the ring? For all you know he might not be prepared to buy one before May.

Congratulations on your impending marriage!

audrewuh · November 2012

You should have checked your crazy pants at the door. I'm with Elle, I had no idea this stuff happened in real life. You've got some serious questions to ask yourself and your bf. And tough titty for your mom if she's not happy. Not everyone has to be, but don't blame your crazy on her. Does it suck? Hell yea, but that's no reason to not come out of the secretly engaged closet. I'd only condone this behavior if you were eloping and not inviting anyone, but that's not what you're doing.

SKP82 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:282de974-e00b-438b-90d4-12eace774185">Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]Just like many of the pp's stated an engagement ring alone does not make an engagement. It's a nice token to have, but is just an outward symbol of an agreement two people made to marry each other and not a neccesary one. The same goes for a wedding celebration. The day alone has nothing to do with a marriage. It is just a way to show the world your commitment. What you choose to do with or without a ring is up to you. If you and your SO have communicated and planned this together, <strong>then congrats you're engaged.</strong> If not, you need to have a long talk about what your next steps are in your relationship. I'm sorry that you're concerned with your mom's feelings so much. Yes, it would be nice for everyone to be happy for all of your decisions, but life doesn't work that way. If you are in a healthy relationship that makes you happy, there is no reason to hide this. She'll either get over it or she won't. That's life. Good luck.
Posted by suzie211[/QUOTE]

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />

Except, she says that she's NOT engaged...

K Everdeen12 · November 2012

I agree 100% with Buggle. I've gone back and forth on my feelings on pre-planning, but honestly if you two are on the same page and are both 100% committed to getting married (rather than throwing a wedding), than whatever. Every relationship is different. For example, just because my FI called us "practically engaged" months before we were really engaged, we weren't comfortable with planning a wedding until he put the ring on my finger.

However, like Buggle, I think you have a responsibility to tell your friends and family who you plan on inviting about your plans. This isn't everyone's opinion, but I don't think the proper time for your family to find out that you're engaged is when invitations go out (only 6-8 weeks before the wedding), for example. Most people plan and budget for these things, even without having a Save the Date, way before they receive an invitation.

Another issue is that many times your parents may want to have some input in your wedding - whether it's paying for it (which can involve a lot of opinions/decisions or none at all other than a check written to you), requesting you invite certain people, or asking that you have it at a time that works for them.

Just because your mom has said negative things about marriage, it doesn't mean she won't be happy for you, by the way. She might be hurt you left her out of planning your wedding, though. She wasn't with you to get your dress? That's.... I don't know. My mom and I are NOT close. I would have been fine getting my dress without her, but I know that she wouldn't have been happy if I did that.

One last thing about wedding planning - typically you want to book your venue first, as they book up fast and once it's booked, it's gone. May is still a fairly popular time to get married, so you might have a lot of trouble finding something for the specific date you have set already. I also wanted to point out that if you're doing a dessert reception - your wedding ceremony and reception need to be at a time that isn't a meal time, so after 8 pm or at 2 pm, for example. Otherwise people will be expecting a full meal and will be really unhappy and hungry.

buddysmom80 · November 2012

Why????? This is like planning a Thanksgiving dinner and no one is coming. There is NO commitment to marriage and you two haven't had a heart to heart, then don't stress yourself out with the planning. Enjoy your time together because from what I've heard/seen wedding planning is stressful!

cu97tiger · November 2012

Hey OP - are you ever coming back?

peekaboo2011 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:223cd956-2037-4a74-9239-a7590815e0c5">Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey OP - are you ever coming back?
Posted by cu97tiger[/QUOTE]

<div>Probably not. I bet we were meanieheads.</div>

loves2shop4shoes · November 2012

Just read the title of your post again. How can you not realize how insane you sound?

If you're planning a wedding on a specific date, and your SO is on board, then yes, you're engaged! Congratulations! You don't need a ring to be engaged.

And seriously? You're hiding your engagement from your mother? That's not going to help your relationship...I don't care how hard she takes it.

buddysmom80 · November 2012

You guys are so like totally mean! Who's father invented toaster strudels because you are all mean girls! LOL

I love reading BSC posts. BTW, bf and I have a meeting with a venue rep on Saturday. Hoopefully we can set a date and bf can propose by then......joking!

I feel all weird typing that lol.

Swazzle · November 2012

This seems like the perfect place to bring Prince out of hiding:

SKP82 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:10bb3024-d1c9-4120-ba65-28e62e7eaa83">Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]Eh. I'm in the minority here, but I feel like if you and your SO are on the same page as far as your relationship and any future wedding plans, I DGAF if what you call it. If you've agreed that you're gettiing married on x date in May, you're engaged, whether you want to call it that or not. H and I eloped, so I'm who Audrewuh is referring to. We actually called ourselves engaged for a full six days before we got married - because that's when my rings came in (and he did propose with them, even though it was just a formality - because he wanted the moment he gave me the ring to be special). We had the actual ceremony planned for much longer - officiant, photog, and dress included.<strong> I caught a lot of sh!t for that around here</strong>, but you know what? It's our relationship, no one elses, and that's what we decided to do. Together. For a variety of reasons, we didn't want to draw attention to our impending marriage - so we didn't. Having our little wedding planned before we proclaimed to the world that we were engaged didn't take away from the specialness of that process, because we were in it together. We were "engaged without a ring" I suppose, but didn't want to call it that. Anyone who had a problem with that....tough. That said, if you're planning a wedding that other people will attend, you should probably out yourselves as engaged sooner rather than later. People will probably be pretty miffed when they find out you have your whole wedding planned, especially those who might have prior committments, or close friends and family who would be hurt that you chose not to involve them. Ring or not, if you're planning a wedding in six months, you need to tell people soon. Now, if you're planning this wedding without your BF being on the exact same page...abort mission immediately, because that's craycray.
Posted by buggle2[/QUOTE]

I'm LOLing that you "caught a lot of sh!t around here." As I recall, you didn't even post anything on here until you got the ring. And I was the only one who really said anything to you on FB.

Anyway, I agree with Buggle that if you're going to be inviting other people to this wedding, you need to figure out what you're going to do. Whether that's calling yourselves engaged, engaged without a ring, or whatever, you should probably let your family and close friends know.

Elle1036 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:95941159-ba4b-4ee9-88c0-74119b767082">Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged : <strong>I'm LOLing that you "caught a lot of sh!t around here." As I recall, you didn't even post anything on here until you got the ring. And I was the only one who really said anything to you on FB.</strong> Anyway, I agree with Buggle that if you're going to be inviting other people to this wedding, you need to figure out what you're going to do. Whether that's calling yourselves engaged, engaged without a ring, or whatever, you should probably let your family and close friends know.
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

I think by "around here" she just means this community. A lot of things spill over from here to FB and vice versa.

SKP82 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:94bc38b8-2510-40c5-923a-6185e80e11fd">Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged : I think by "around here" she just means this community. A lot of things spill over from here to FB and vice versa.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

Maybe so, but either way, I disagree that she got a lot of crap.

Swazzle · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:95941159-ba4b-4ee9-88c0-74119b767082">Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged : <strong>I'm LOLing that you "caught a lot of sh!t around here." As I recall, you didn't even post anything on here until you got the ring. And I was the only one who really said anything to you on FB.</strong> Anyway, I agree with Buggle that if you're going to be inviting other people to this wedding, you need to figure out what you're going to do. Whether that's calling yourselves engaged, engaged without a ring, or whatever, you should probably let your family and close friends know.
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't really get the point of any of this. </div>

Elle1036 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:20826e1e-7421-4fa3-86ed-caab3c2cebfa">Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged : Maybe so, but either way, I disagree that she got a lot of crap.
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

That's fine. But there's really no reason to be dragging that up here, IMO.

And, yeah, I kind of felt like she got a lot of crap. You were right when you said it was pretty much just you who said something, but I feel the amount of crap you gave her was pretty significant. *shrug*

I agree with rdr, though, that whether or not she got crap is irrelevant to this discussion. It doesn't change the point she was making.

GoldenPenguin · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:6eb23b20-3659-4c97-a094-73fd28872b54">Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged : I don't really get the point of any of this.
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

It's called "I have to be a huge biatch in every thread. Ever."

That's all.

(this is where I'd post the eye-rolling emoticon, but I don't have them on the iPad.)

SKP82 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:d02f4de1-0484-41aa-aedd-1b2cda4f51bd">Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged : It's called "I have to be a huge biatch in every thread. Ever." That's all. (this is where I'd post the eye-rolling emoticon, but I don't have them on the iPad.)
Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

Nice. Because I've never been empathetic/sympathetic to anything ever.

Swazzle · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:d02f4de1-0484-41aa-aedd-1b2cda4f51bd">Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged : It's called "I have to be a huge biatch in every thread. Ever." That's all. (this is where I'd post the eye-rolling emoticon, but I don't have them on the iPad.)
Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

<div><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2271" src="http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/well_done_sir.gif" alt="" title="well done sir" width="320" height="240" /></div>

SKP82 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:d735e922-d222-4840-9d36-f60d76f10954">Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged : That's fine. But there's really no reason to be dragging that up here, IMO. And, yeah, I kind of felt like she got a lot of crap. You were right when you said it was pretty much just you who said something, but I feel the amount of crap you gave her was pretty significant. *shrug* I agree with rdr, though, that whether or not she got crap is irrelevant to this discussion. It doesn't change the point she was making.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

You're right. It doesn't change the point she was making.

loves2shop4shoes · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:37b93b9b-8709-4214-97f4-b176c0ae9a1a">Re:Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged: Understatement. SKP, If you're trying to convince us how empathetic and sympathetic you are all the time, bringing up a time when you made yourself look like a complete and total biatch who nobody agreed with is probably not a great example.
Posted by buggle2[/QUOTE]

This.

treemackey · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weddings-in-6-monthsbut-still-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:c5b5864f-5459-44af-ab86-6be92bccf06dPost:efc510a5-aa2f-4839-bc09-3bba68c41e64">Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged : OK couple of things that stick out to me from your post, as PP have said a ring does not an engagement make. It doesn't make it any more "Official" to have one. A ring is a pretty piece of jewelry (usually) and that's it. If you and your HTB have decided to get married TOGETHER and have planned out a wedding TOGETHER then IMO you are engaged. But the only opinion that matters should be yours and your HTB. Your hoping that other people will see it in the same light causes me to worry about how thick your skin is, who cares how others see your relationship with HTB. If he makes you happy all others really need to do is keep their yaps shut if they disagree. It's your life to live as you see fit. Listen to advice from people who's opinions you respect but when it comes down to it you get to make the final decision. GL and Congrats
Posted by rusngl2[/QUOTE]

Great advice. I'm in the same situation as far as "PEOPLE" not agreeing with my dicision to marryme fiance'.

Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged

Re: Wedding's in 6 months...but still not engaged

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