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MOH x2

So I am getting married in June and I'm actually starting to feel like this is really happening. Having an 18 month long engagement sometimes makes you feel like 'ya i'm getting married...eventually' but I am actually really into it all now. Loving that. Anywho, I decided to have a Matron of Honor, my sister who is 17 years older than me, and a Maid of Honor my best friend who is a year younger than me. Now I have been doing a lot of running around here and there doing wedding errands with my best friend, she is actually into all of that stuff, which is cool because i know planning someone else's wedding isnt necessarily the most fun thing to do, but my sister and I while we love each other and enjoy hanging out, it's hard to bring up wedding stuff since there is such a big age gap. She's been married for 14 years and and has twin 11 year olds. She's super busy and we usually just end up shooting the breeze when we get a chance to talk. 

The other day my sister kinda brought up the wedding and the conversation kinda left me with the feeling that she felt a little left out because I had been running around with my best friend and hadnt really done anything with her involving the wedding. I was kinda shocked because I had thought that because she was so busy asking her to be 'more involved' would be a burden. I would love to involve her more since she asked to be involved more, but this is my predicament. I'm kinda in a wedding lull just having acheived most of what i needed to get done in the last few weeks for a while. Other than actually mailing my STDs I wont have to do anything for a least a month or two. What could I do to include my sister more? 

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Re: MOH x2

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    Did your friend offer to help you? (Meaning, you didn't approach her and ask for help.)

    If so, you could always play it off that angle for your sister ... "I'm so sorry if you felt left out! I hate to ask people for help because I don't want to bug them. I've only been doing stuff with Friend because she offered. I'd love it if you wanted to get involved! Just tell me what you're interested in doing!"

    I'm the same way, if this was the situation with you ... I hate to ask people to help with stuff because I always wonder if I'm coming across as a bother.
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    What does she like to do? Shop for attire? Help make favors or address envelopes? Maybe you could bring a bottle of wine to her house and she can help with invitations, or she can leave the kids with her husband and go hang out with you.
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    The things that I really had done with my friend was like going to all the different venues to finally pick a location, went to bridal shows, picked out invitations, and stuff like that. It wasnt like we went and planned to do all this stuff other than the wedding sites, it's just we are always together hanging out so when she called and was like 'what are you up to today' and i had planned on taking care of one errand or another she's like 'o can I come' and it just ended up working out that way. I'm kinda a fan of doing things myself anyways so it's just kinda worked out that way. I'm not gonna "make up" stuff to do, but really the big things that if she wanted to help i'd love help with planning the shower and bachelorette party, thats just stuff that I really dont want to have to worry about...I dont know

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    156image 108image 48image RSVP Due 5/18
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    I ditto PPs. Just let her know you didn't want to burden her but that next time something comes up you'll ask for her help - and ask if there's anything she's specifically thinking of doing.

    You can't ask for help planning the shower and bach party because you shouldn't be planning them. Those parties are gifts that people can choose to throw for you, not things you plan for yourself or that you ask other people to do for you.
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    ask her what she's interested in, and get help there as noted.

    the other thing you can do is to include her in any major decisions. things like when you go to the florist and see a sample of the centerpieces, send her a picture and ask her opinion. or send her links to favors and ask her opinion. if she's extremly busy then a quick email is easy for her and will make her feel involved in the process. you can always invite her to come along to appointments, but if she can't at least that's a way to make her feel involved in the process that's easier on her schedule.
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