Bridesmaid Dilemma

Re: Bridesmaid Dilemma

• em01092 member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  My first advice is this: your profile says your wedding is next August. Is this still correct? If yes, I advise you to wait a while longer to ask until you are sure of whom you want to choose, especially since you are having some issues here. Relationships change, as much as we don't want to think they will. A lot of brides come back here asking how to un ask a BM because their friendship faded or they asked for the wrong reasons and you can't really do that. 

  
  

  I say choose the people closest to you. Are you REALLY that close with all 9 other gals in your circle or do you just hang with the others when you're all together? Do you hang out with each girl individually? Do you confide in them? Who would you call first for advice? (To be fair, I've never had many female friends, so maybe it is possible to have 9 close girl friends but just foreign to me.) 

  
  

  As for your siblings, are you close with your sisters? Your brother can stand on your side and your FI's sister canstand on his side. Unorthodox, yes, but wrong? No way. It makes sense to stand on the side of the people you're closer to.

  April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta.... Bio-Updated 4/22**

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• kaitlyn&henry member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  I agree with the above post...wait as long as you can before you ask because once you do you cant unask and there is always one or two BMs that end up not being involved or high maintenance...etc. Weddings tend to bring out many different sides to people.

  
  

  So wait and think about it...and if its still an issue, ask your brother to stand on your side and his sisters to stand on his. I have actually seen this alot lately and while it may seem strange to some, i think its a lovely way to really show the relationships!

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• covejack

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  I would wait.

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  I would wait and ask your BM's 6-8 months before the wedding.  

  
  

  Also, pick the girls who are closest to you. Even if you all hang out in one group, there are probably a few who you are closest to and you could always find ways to include the other girls even though they aren't part of the wedding party if thats the route you choose to go.

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• clade

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  I would also wait, but 9+ bridesmaids seems like a headache personally. How many groomsmen does your FI have? My FI had a similar issue (although smaller numbers) since he has a group of about 5 guys he's close with from high school, but he also has a brother and then my brother. We didn't want a huge wedding party so he decided to stick with just family (brothers and a couple of his cousins) rather than trying to pick and choose from his group of friends. One of the other guys in the group of friends recently got married and I think came to the same conclusion. Not every close friend has to be in the wedding party, they can still enjoy themselves and feel involved as guests (maybe even more so!). Just something to think about.

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