Questioning faith

MoFree · February 2010

Have you ever been in a situation where you seriously question faith?

DH's recent accident (crash is a more appropriate term since the other driver willfully did something so dangerous and probably illegal) is causinig me to question everything I once believed. I get angry when I hear that he survived because G-d was with him. If that's the case, why the heck wasn't G-d with him on the road and not just in the operating and recovery room.

I don't believe that G-d caused the accident to happen, or that it is a test of our faith and endurance, but it really does make me question his/her existence.

Rachiemoo · February 2010

I think you may be confusing the question of "Why do bad things happen to good people" with the question of "Does G-d exist".

I think that almost everyone wonders about both of these questions at times in their life, and I think in light of your DH's recent accident/crash that it is completely normal for you to be having these types of questions.

A good way to look at it for me, is that G-d made us in his/her image, and with that comes the ability to make choices. If every time a human chose to do something bad (which in your case, the girl who was texting) G-d interfered, then we as humans wouldn't have any true moral choices to make.

I believe that sometimes G-d does make miracles happen, but in a way that still allows us to be human and make our own choices.

Even though bad, and often devestating things happen to almost everyone at one point in time, I think it is important to look at the "bigger picture". Often bad things can bring people closer together or can have hidden good things at the end of the tunnel.

I hope you're doing well and that your husband's recovery is going as smoothly as possible.

MoFree · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_questioning-faith?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:399Discussion:bc1c13b7-965e-413a-9975-8fc8ed39691dPost:ac8f88eb-50db-40f4-8f51-6de1c0d72c8a">Re: Questioning faith</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you may be confusing the question of "Why do bad things happen to good people" with the question of "Does G-d exist". I think that almost everyone wonders about both of these questions at times in their life, and I think in light of your DH's recent accident/crash that it is completely normal for you to be having these types of questions. A good way to look at it for me, is that G-d made us in his/her image, and with that comes the ability to make choices. If every time a human chose to do something bad (which in your case, the girl who was texting) G-d interfered, then we as humans wouldn't have any true moral choices to make. I believe that sometimes G-d does make miracles happen, but in a way that still allows us to be human and make our own choices. Even though bad, and often devestating things happen to almost everyone at one point in time, I think it is important to look at the "bigger picture". Often bad things can bring people closer together or can have hidden good things at the end of the tunnel. I hope you're doing well and that your husband's recovery is going as smoothly as possible.
Posted by Rachiemoo[/QUOTE]

No, I am questioning faith in G-d, not why bad things happen.
At this point I am unable to see the "bigger picture" and it sounds like I'm being preached to by you.

Rachiemoo · February 2010

I certainly was not trying to preach, and I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable, I was honestly just trying to help.

alinaandjared · February 2010

WOW.
I must have totally misunderstood your post because I agree with what Rachel says. You probably have more thoughts in your head than you have expressed to us. As Rachel said, from what you posted it sounds like you are questioning why things happen and not your faith. Of course if you ARE questioning your faith in god, its ok to do so, it just did not come across that way in your post.

LBRM_NJ · February 2010

I think it's OK to question faith. I think it's our ability to question things that allows us to believe in things strongly. I honestly believe that blindly believing something may be a sign that you haven't actually thought things through.

I managed to keep my faith through my infertility struggle. After miscarrying after my 4th IVF (in November), I still believed. Came the following Rosh Hashanah and I was sitting in services and the rabbi began the sermon and something in me snapped. I had to get up and leave. Suddenly, I questioned everything I believe in.

All I can tell you is that I worked through it. I am, in no way, comparing my infertility struggle to what you are going through with your husband. I just wanted to let you know that I think it's OK to question and I hope you're able to come to terms with it.

october010bride · February 2010

In the past I have questioned my faith and there is nothing wrong with that.

My mother died of cancer when I was 3 years old and since then there have been a lot of issues in my family that have been very hard to get through. I questioned my faith in past because I wonder, can G-d really exist and cause so much pain in my life at the same time? I have done nothing wrong, my father has done nothing wrong, yet we go through so much just to get through the day.

I'm not sure why things happen, no one is. But I do that it is my faith that helps me when things get really rough.

lynniearudner · February 2010

I'm so sorry to hear about your recent struggles and your DH's accident.

I think that it is absolutely fine for you to question you faith at this difficult time. Its actually OK to question faith at ANY time. Part of being a human being means that we are able to make our own decisions, think our own thoughts, and come to our own conclusions. AND it means that we can change our minds from time to time. we can feel one way for a number of years, then believe in (or not believe in) something different for a while, and we can change back if we want. There is nothing wrong with that at all.

One of the things I have always loved about Judaism if that a belief is G-d is not required to be a Jew. Even my Solomon Shechter day school knew enough to teach us, as primary school students, that we belonged to our community and our jewish families regardless of our formal faith in G-d. That has always been appealing to me, as the support of other people who share my heritage and traditions has always meant something to me, even if my "faith" is different or absent.

I recently read this blog post and thought your might enjoy it:

http://www.fiftypercenters.com/2010/02/kotel-and-agnostic-prayer.html

All that said, i hope to not stir the nest here -- but I'm happy to admit that i think of G-d differently than many traditional jews. To me, G-d is more like "gravity" than a "being who is with us or not with us at times of need." I guess i feel confident that there is something out in the universe that is bigger than I am, than humans are, and than the world is -- but goodness me, i dont know what that thing is! In that sense, the G-d I imagine doesnt help us or hurt us or protect us to throw us to the lions. In fact, that G-d I believe in doesnt willfully DO anything. But the existence of something much bigger than me allows me to put myself in perspective, and thats enough.

JoelsGirl07 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_questioning-faith?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:399Discussion:bc1c13b7-965e-413a-9975-8fc8ed39691dPost:19a00ba1-7a04-4737-b764-68c4931135b5">Re: Questioning faith</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm so sorry to hear about your recent struggles and your DH's accident. I think that it is absolutely fine for you to question you faith at this difficult time. Its actually OK to question faith at ANY time. Part of being a human being means that we are able to make our own decisions, think our own thoughts, and come to our own conclusions. AND it means that we can change our minds from time to time. we can feel one way for a number of years, then believe in (or not believe in) something different for a while, and we can change back if we want. There is nothing wrong with that at all. One of the things I have always loved about Judaism if that a belief is G-d is not required to be a Jew. Even my Solomon Shechter day school knew enough to teach us, as primary school students, that we belonged to our community and our jewish families regardless of our formal faith in G-d. That has always been appealing to me, as the support of other people who share my heritage and traditions has always meant something to me, even if my "faith" is different or absent. I recently read this blog post and thought your might enjoy it: <a href="http://www.fiftypercenters.com/2010/02/kotel-and-agnostic-prayer.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.fiftypercenters.com/2010/02/kotel-and-agnostic-prayer.html</a> All that said, i hope to not stir the nest here -- but I'm happy to admit that i think of G-d differently than many traditional jews. To me, G-d is more like "gravity" than a "being who is with us or not with us at times of need." I guess i feel confident that there is something out in the universe that is bigger than I am, than humans are, and than the world is -- but goodness me, i dont know what that thing is! In that sense, the G-d I imagine doesnt help us or hurt us or protect us to throw us to the lions. In fact, that G-d I believe in doesnt willfully DO anything. But the existence of something much bigger than me allows me to put myself in perspective, and thats enough.
Posted by lynniearudner[/QUOTE]

This.....exactly! I think it's completely ok to question - now, or at any other time. Judaism teaches us to do that. I, personally, have always felt that I believe in the perfect mix of evolution and creationism which applies to most all of life. SOMETHING had to cause the Big Bang. It's that simple. Something had to create the order of the universe - of cells and atoms to DNA. But as something bigger and stronger than that....I dunno......

Nina+Harrison4E · February 2010

Being able to question faith is part of it's beauty! I will say this, everything happens for a reason. It's not because G-d isn't there, or doesn't care. G-d doesn't exactly drink on the job. Things we experience are just that, experiences meant to make us stronger. I know that when you are upset, and questioning faith that what I am saying is totally cliche, but it's also the truth. Just this past April, I underwent brain surgery to remove a brain tumor which had taken over my pituitary gland, and was even making it's own growth hormone. This causes a condition known as Acromegaly, which I will never be cured of, the damage was already done over six years of neglect on the behalf of doctors who called me a "hypochondriac". Did I question G-d when I found out about my situation, no, not really, but you know when I did, when I went to the website www.acromegaly.org. When I read about what potential life long damage I would sustain from years of exposure to a rapidly growing amount of growth hormone, I broke down! I yelled, and sobbed for hours! How could G-d let the doctors be so negligent?! How could this be happening!? Then I remembered the greatest thing of all, LIFE. Pure and simple, I still had my LIFE! Moreover I am now able to advocate for patient's rights, and doctor competence. I am able to tell my story, and share my experiences in hopes that other people will benefit from what I have gone through. Since the removal of the tumor, I rapidly became hypothyroid, and will have to take synthroid for the duration of my life, and I have also become insulin resistant, which I take metformin to keep me from becoming a diabetic from. I also have full body arthritis, which will plague me for life, and only get worse. I have very bad TMJ from the bones in my jaw being damaged from the growth hormone. I have come to the conclusion that none of this matters, it's no biggie! I have life, and I get to tell my story. Most importantly I get to marry the greatest man I have ever known! I think it's totally healthy to question your faith, I just pray that it ultimately brings you closer to G-d!

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