Feeling Guilty

Danny&Mel2003 · February 2013

I am dealing with an overwhelming amount of guilt.

When FI & I get married we have realized for a few months 3 -6 max we will need to live at either my house with my dad or his with his mom. FI has left the "nest" several times being prior military and going away to school its no big deal for him, me on the other hand I have never left. I never went away to college I was to scared to leave my family.

So on to my guilt, my dad is single has been for quite a while its always been just pops and I since FI and I were LDR for YEARS! Well now I think its made him dependent on me. I cook every night, clean up the house at least 2 days a week, and well we have our nightly dinners. I can't see running back and forth between houses to cook and help him and its making me horribly guilty. I've been trying to "wean" him off it, as in I only cook 2 or 3 days a week and clean 1, but its not enough.

I'm seriously afraid when I leave he will resort to fast food simply b/c its easier. He is a grown man and lived on his own for well over 10 yrs before he even had me! FI is beginning to think I won't even leave his house at all, but I will I want to live with my husband, I just know it will be hard on me.

Am I the only who feels this way?!?! Is there any way I can help the transition on him make it easier possibly something I'm not thinking of!!!

melb2013 · February 2013

I totally understand what you're talking about. My parents are together, but my dad is gone Monday-Friday ever week, so it was basically just me and my mom. It was really hard to move out. I cried a lot. I felt like such a baby about it, but my mom and I were hysterical. We have gotten over it though- it took a couple of months, but we've gotten adjusted. I go over there once a week or so and we hang out a bit. We obviously talk on the phone all the time. I still miss her and I know she misses me, but we're surviving and finding a new normal.

Your dad can fend for himself cleaning wise and cooking wise. I'd say that the real issue is that you are afraid of missing him to much. It's like a band aid- you just need to do it.

melb2013 · February 2013

And you need to join the facebook group!

Danny&Mel2003 · February 2013

In Response to Re:Feeling Guilty:[QUOTE]And you need to join the facebook group! Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

Yeah your right its going to happen. And I did join finally this weekend! I'm Melissa BethAnn!!!!

Annas2013 · February 2013

I feel a little guilty too. This will be the first time I've left the house without knowing I'll come back on breaks from school. I do live in an apartment now but it's only for the school year. I end up staying at home some weekends due to my work schedule too. It happens.

My dad suggested I live at home while FI goes to the police academy if that's what he ends up doing (he'd leave the day after we get back from our honeymoon). No thank you. I love my parents but need to move to our own place.

It's going to be hard at first but you both know it's for the best. Even he will. Also if he lived by himself before, he'll be able to do it again. Don't worry.

turtleslove · February 2013

have you sat down and had this conversation with him? Maybe he can tell you how he plans to "take care of himself" and that will help your worry!

Danny&Mel2003 · February 2013

In Response to Re:Feeling Guilty:[QUOTE]have you sat down and had this conversation with him? Maybe he can tell you how he plans to quot;take care of himselfquot; and that will help your worry! Posted by turtleslove[/QUOTE]

Sort of when I bring it up he makes jokes ... I know he'll be ok I'm being a big baby but I lived with my dad pretty much all my life

ShellyAvery · February 2013

It'll be a tough transition for you both, but I would talk to him about it. Make sure you check in on him enough, especially in the early months.

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