Do Second Brides (or 2nd plus) stick around?

mmmendi · October 2012

Just curious.

Now that the wedding has come and gone, is there a recommendation as second+'ers potentially blend families and continue to deal with the world of ex?

Avion22 · October 2012

I'm not sure what your question is.

I'm married my second husband in April, and I'm still around. I think a lot of us are still around after our weddings have past, mostly to help other people who have questions.

right1thistime · October 2012

married in 2006 ...so I guess the answer is yes! We lobbied for a Second Nest board a long time ago, no such luck. I guess the fact that we are not buying a house full of stuff (more like getting RID OF a house full of stuff!), we aren't the demographic that will serve the purpose.

There is a blended families board, I think. But it seemed to be a much younger demographic than I preferred to comisserate with. ~Donna

ETA: the year, it showed up earlier & then poofed. Odd

calliou2 · October 2012

I plan on sticking around!

Jells2dot0 · October 2012

I'm don't post on here very often, but I'm still here! I was just married in August, but I try to give advice where I can.

MikesAngie · October 2012

As far as hanging around the board - I still am here.

It depends on your ex, if you have children, if you have a harmonious relationship with your past "family"; you may want to continue to blend your past "family" with your present. I think that is a very personal choice and it depends on everyone's comfort level.

My exH and I at my insistence invited his deceased wife's family over for holidays and other family functions because his children and grandchildren were their family as well. I encouraged keeping the relationships because it was healthy for the family.

Of course I no longer have a relationship with my exH, his family or extended family because of his lack of decorum and maturity - there is a permanent No Contact Order. He has violated it several times but I digress.

Edited so hopefully you won't need a maginfying glass to read it.

handfast4me · October 2012

Legally married in 2008, and I'm still here! I pop in when I'm taking a break from work. Hoping I can catch the other Pagans and lend them an ear.

Sue-n-Kevin · October 2012

I got married last August, and it was my first marriage, but my husband's 3rd.

I found this board to be better for older brides who are merging families, which we did, and it felt like a good fit.

Lisa50 · October 2012

*raises hand* Yup! I'm still here. H and I married in July 2011. It is my 2nd marriage and his 3rd.

There is a very nice group of women here. Many are going through the "just sent my baby to college (grad school, the military, etc ... fill in the blank) and provide and great support network for one another.

As well, some of us are becoming parents to our parents. I have received amazing support from the crew here -- when my dad passed away, when my son went to college, when I needed to find care for my mother, who has Alzheimer's.

Stick around. We'll be here!

2dBride · October 2012

I'm still here, and we were married in 2009.

Jells2dot0 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_do-second-brides-or-2nd-plus-stick-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:7ead987c-bba8-4ff7-9e4c-e93dbe8138caPost:f1e86e25-f0a9-4ecd-a0c0-b52ac7399f1e">Re: Do Second Brides (or 2nd plus) stick around?</a>:
[QUOTE]*raises hand* Yup! I'm still here. H and I married in July 2011. It is my 2nd marriage and his 3rd. <strong>There is a very nice group of women here. Many are going through the "just sent my baby to college (grad school, the military, etc ... fill in the blank) and provide and great support network for one another. As well, some of us are becoming parents to our parents. I have received amazing support from the crew here -- when my dad passed away, when my son went to college, when I needed to find care for my mother, who has Alzheimer's. Stick around. We'll be here!
</strong>Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]

I love this board because of this. I'm in a bit of a different situation in that I'm still relatively young (32) but married someone who is a bit older (50). So, I can't necessarily turn to my friends and ask advice on dealing with my adult stepchildren (18 and 21) or issues with older parents (mine are in their 50s, but his are in the mid 70s.) All of my friends are getting married for the first time are focused on starting a family; I just got married for the second time and we are focused on getting his kids settled and out of the house and preparing for retirement. I might not post all of the time, but I certainly read and appreciate all of the wonderful advice and insight on here.

mmmendi · October 2012

Awesome! right1 kind of expressed what I did not express very well...re needing a 2nd Nest. It is very different to each have an adult child and try to mesh our family with two 12 year olds. Thank you for the replies and extended welcome!

20pearls16 · November 2012

I'm late to the party but I'm still around. I got married in Aug. I love this board because I can identify with the folks on this board the most. I was married for 18 years the first time. I have older chilldren etc. I could not identify with some of the younger brides fighting over BM's and center pieces. We have real issues on his board.

Tandksmommy · November 2012

I'm young, but I'm marrying someone who is 9 years older and I seem to "fit in" better with the older brides/wives versus the younger 21 year olds getting married. I appreciate that many of you have stuck around to give some insight to us. Not only are we already struggling with some second wedding guilt, but most of us are probably experiencing different things in our lives that others would not.

BeccaD75 · November 2012

Actually, kind of glad to see this. FI is 9 years older than me (46, I'm 37). His 2nd marriage, my 3rd (long story, friends told me not to count my 2nd, I'll explain if anyone wants me to...). We both have 2 children from our first marriages, ranging in age from almost 11 to 7. I have found that many boards that have blended families all the women/moms are in their 20s and I can't relate to them. Glad to find women who are more in my age range that I can relate to. Glad you all stick around!! We aren't quite sure when we are getting married right now although we are shooting for this summer!!!

Glad to be here and to have found this board!

Do Second Brides (or 2nd plus) stick around?

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