thanks for the help

asharp2285 · July 2012

thanks

AdeleDazeem · July 2012

Well, your situations are easy!

1. You don't kick her out. The end. It doesn't matter that she wants a G cup - it's really up the doctor and her how big is safe and reasonable. If she's too sore to be in the wedding, then she'll remove herself. But again, you don't say or do anything about the situation except smile and assume she's in the wedding.

2. If you two are paying for the wedding, don't talk to your mother in law about the wedding. Thank her profusely for her kind offer to make the wedding dress, but tell her you've decided to go in a different direction. You are free to have the wedding you choose and you are under no obligation to defend your choices. You do not have to explain to her anything. Just smile, thank her, and change the subject.

Stackeye210 · July 2012

I would hate to have a friend that cared about my boob size. Think about that. You're being shallow. Her surgeries are not your business. If she feels comfortable and confident that she'll be fine to stand up next to you b/c you asked her to, well then there's nothing further to discuss. That's like saying, "you can't be a BM b/c you might be prettier than me". Say this stuff out loud and see how you sound.

Maybe you can ask your MIL to dress shop with you so that she can make you the perfect veil to go with it. I mean that could be a nice compromise, but you have to be honest that you'd prefer the feeling of hunting and finding the perfect dress. That's just as much a part of the wedding as the actual day for some people.

annieoldfield · July 2012

If your friend had naturally large breasts would you have not asked her to be your bridesmaid because you "cant get past that big of a chest size in all your wedding photos"?

baystateapple · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_we-just-got-started-and-already-theres-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e1f0c71c-6638-4a86-8acd-8fa42af98602Post:34bed296-9410-435d-ba6d-52a3b5b9c8ca">Re: We just got started, and already there's drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]If your friend had naturally large breasts would you have not asked her to be your bridesmaid because you "cant get past that big of a chest size in all your wedding photos"?
Posted by annieoldfield[/QUOTE]
Yup.

My sister has huge breasts. I don't know the size, she stopped talking about it years ago because she's really self-conscious and she wants a reduction but can't afford it. I can just imagine how well that would have gone over if I told her sorry, you can't be my MOH because your breasts are just too big for my pretty pictures.

mbuckley85 · July 2012

On the breast thing...My concern would be her dress, not my wedding photos. If she is really 5'4'' and 130, she is going to need a MUCH bigger dress than her normal to accommodate her new G breasts. Getting the dress altered (and potentially having to get a new dress) in the last month before or of the wedding seems like a terrible idea.

J&K10910 · July 2012

Can you FMIL make you a RD dress instead?

chelseamb11 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_we-just-got-started-and-already-theres-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:e1f0c71c-6638-4a86-8acd-8fa42af98602Post:9d798b30-6541-4787-9b90-f5d2aa44d938">We just got started, and already there's drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]First- One of the girls I had asked to be my bridesmaids, has already accepted, and I am very excited for this. However, she just had gastric surgery last year, and is really looking great. She's going in to have a couple surgeries (way before the wedding) to <strong>(ew)</strong> remove excess skin. I knew about this, but the wedding isn't until Spring 2013, and this is scheduled for October, so she should be just fine. However, AFTER I asked her about being in my bridal party, she say's she's going in to get breast augmentation. Oh, well... okay. right? No. She's going to do it the month of the wedding. And she says she wants it before so the pictures will reflect how she's going to look... Again... Um okay right? I can deal with that. Until she says that her now 5'4" frame and about 130 pound body is going to be supporting "At least a size G cup" Oh My Gosh.... So I tell FI this, and he doesn't want her in the wedding party because she's going to be A) Swollen, B) In pain, C) hugely endowed.... I'm not comffortable with this, but can I recind the invite to the bridal party? I would still welcome her to the wedding, I would love to have her there, but I just can't get past the idea of that big of an artificial chest size in all our wedding photos.... Posted by asharp2285[/QUOTE]

I just can't get over this.
1. Why the "ew"? Your friend is taking a huge leap into changing her life and you have to say "ew" about the process?

2. Bridesmaids are not props for your wedding photos. If you are concerned about the size of her chest, choose a dress that will support her, or even have your girls wear nice shawls or something that will minimize the cleavage. There are plenty of better options than kicking someone out of the WP just because their boobs are too big.

pink34562000 · July 2012

Your FMIL is very excited for you, which is why she wants to make something special. The best way to approach the subject is "Thank you so much, but it is my dream to purchase a dress from this particular designer or store." You can even give her a hug and ask her to go with you. She may feel hurt at first, but honesty is the best approach.

If you have any crafty projects for her such as putting bows on favors or guest bags or fun wedding props or a garter, you may be able to ask her.

achiduck · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_we-just-got-started-and-already-theres-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:e1f0c71c-6638-4a86-8acd-8fa42af98602Post:de3e2eb9-4584-4a1a-ba62-d3f0d3c162c3">Re: We just got started, and already there's drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with Joy and cfas on how to deal with your MIL. <strong> I could be totally wrong about this, but if your friend goes to a reputable doctor, I don't think they will just agree to do an augmentation of that size. I know someone who had one. She wanted something larger, a D cup I think. The doctor said something to her like, "No, you'll be all out of proportion. I'm going to give you a C cup."
</strong>Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

I was just thinking this. I don't think many legit doctors will agree to give her something so large on such a small frame.

aragx6 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_we-just-got-started-and-already-theres-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:e1f0c71c-6638-4a86-8acd-8fa42af98602Post:2c375445-d2fe-4903-8ac7-0d52058d19da">Re: We just got started, and already there's drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]Can you FMIL make you a RD dress instead?
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

I love this suggestion. That way she'll feel included, which I suspect is what she really wants!

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

Ftr, OP. G is not an "artificial" breast size. I know of a number of brides who post on this forum who in fact have G sized boobs. So yeah, congrats on your comments making you sound like a legit dill hole. Your friend had gastric bypass which is no small thing to recover from and she now has the chance to look the way she really wants. My first thought is that I'd be absolutely thrilled for my friend - not about my damn wedding pictures. FFS.

And if you don't want your FMIL to make your wedding dress just be upfront. People are going to be giving you suggestions left and right, get used to it. You don't have to sit there and flipthefuckout about everything. Just politely decline and move on, sheesh. I do like J&K's suggestion of having her make you a rehearsal dress. I think it's a nice compromise that still gives her a chance to feel included and help you, and you still get to decide what you want to wear at your wedding.

annieoldfield · July 2012

What about your FMIL making your bridesmaid a dress that covers her size G breasts?

jemmini6 · July 2012

1. I'm assuming you asked this woman because she is your friend, and you care about her. So to all of a sudden kick her out for purely cosmetic reasons is pretty much the definition of shallow. I understand being concerned over her choice to go so big with the implants for health reasons, but as PPs mentioned, any reputable doctor will discuss that with her, but that's not how you stated it. You are concerned only for how she'll look in your wedding pictures....shame on you.

2. As long as you and your FI are in agreement on a budget and what you want your wedding to look like, then it's none of your FMIL's business, and you should let your FI field any questions she has about it. As for your dress, I think it's sweet that she wants to be involved, but I completely understand wanting to buy a dress instead. I love the suggestion of having her make your RD dress instead. That way, she's still involved and contributing, but you'll still get to buy your wedding dress.

celticmyss · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_we-just-got-started-and-already-theres-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e1f0c71c-6638-4a86-8acd-8fa42af98602Post:2c450d8f-fb7b-461d-89c9-2f221c0ab8a4">Re: thanks for the help</a>:
[QUOTE]Really? No response? Just the DD? Dissapointing.
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

<div>Maybe she realized the first half of her post was indefensible? </div>

pink34562000 · July 2012

What's the point of DD'ing? You have already been quoted!

thanks for the help

Re: thanks for the help

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