African American Weddings

Different dresses for BMs?

So I've been thinking this for a while. Should I just tell my BMs forget it and let them find and select their own cocktail length black dresses? I really dont care anymore to be honest.

No one has complained about the look of the dresses or the prices ($100). But a part of me feels bad about have them buy $100 dresses when they have to get shoes ( select on their own, any style), and pay for a hotel room for my OOT wedding. I know its not a lot, but just feel it is. I sent them this week an email update about getting measurements And the payment to me by Jan 18th.

Am I just going crazy? Should I let well-enough alone?
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Re: Different dresses for BMs?

  • jonekajoneka member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2012
     You could but specify that material match such as ALL satin or ALL charmuse to keep the look uniformed and cohesive...the color is already chosen correct (black)? I would let them pick, but have them text me a pic of their choice so I could co-sign it before they purchase....This worked for me..and I wouldnt feel bad..you have given them the date to get fitted..so trust that they will...also why would they give the payment to you and not the dress retailer?? It kinda comes with the territory..if they do not make their fitting or payment  in the time frame needed for their dresses to come in on time..they are excusing themselves from the wedding party...
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  • Key.... I thought about doing the exact same thing.. and then my moh said...no this is your wedding we should wear what you want.. I definitely did take all their personalities in account when I chose the dress..and they all LOVE it. I definitely wanted something that they would wear again.. Shoes.... I feel everyone has their own shoe personality... so I am letting choose their own.. But.. I want to see them before they get them so I know they're not toooo crazy.. Have you chosen a dress yet?.. that's the first thing.. In my mind..if I had let them choose their own dress.. GOD only knows how long it would've taken for them to individually find a dress... I wouldn't have had ANY control over that situation.. AND THAT WOULD be asking for more stress..IMO.
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  • Key where are you considering ordering the dresses from? Because you can see if it's cheaper at Pearls place and order from there.. my bm dresses were initailly $270.. and i felt sooo bad so i MrsBoss and Cha and a couple of the other Tk sistahs told me to call Pearls place and inquire about the dress there.. It's only &150.. and everybody was happy.. So we are actually ordering today...

    As far as different style dresses,etc.. that was my initial idea, different syle same color.. Girl that gave me a headache, i went looking first and gave them a list to pick from.. when everybody went to try the dress on, everybody didn't look good in the different styles, etc, so we decided on one dress 3 different colors... So with that being said, i think you should pick a fabric and or a dress that will compliment everyone and then call pearls place to see if it's cheaper to order from there.

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  • All of my BMs have different dresses. I told them the color and the fabric from Alfred Angelo and let them pick the dress they wanted as long as it met my requirements. I approved all of the dresses before they bought them. But I only have 4 BMs, so it was easier for me to manage the process. Also, as Joneka said, I had my girls pay the store directly so that was one less thing for me to worry about.
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  • I agree with pp if you do just specify a material but honestly for grown working people 100 plus shoes and travel are not that much. Ppl spend that much and more on vacation all of the time. Those who want to will, the others will find excuses
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  • Thanks ladies. Yeah, I have selected a dress and plan to order from Pearls Place. Nursng, you hit it on the head for me. They like the dress, it compliments everyone well, they can wear it again. But you all are right. Letting them pick would cause they to take their sweet time on the having the dress. They way I have it now, I have some control over the situation. Thanks for your help on this! Im having them pay me is just a preference and I want to pay for shipping.
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  • Key... me and you are a lot alike... BUT.. I think in the end.. it comes down to what makes you feel best and what you really want..
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  • I don't feel bad at all they love me and I love them and I would do it for them Get the dress you want.....
    "Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History" ~Laurel Thatcher Ulrich~
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