Breaking of the Glass

ShaTerry · January 2011

Im very intrested in the tradition of breaking the glass at the end of the ceremony! Neither my FI or I are Jewish (and neither are our families) but my mother was talking about the tradition today and I think it might be something I would like to do at my wedding this spring. Ive done some reading online and see that it can symbolize several things...the one that really caught my attention is that the marriage lasts as long as the glass is broken.

When I said something to my mother about wanting to include this tradition she acted like it would be offensive since we arent Jewish. I definately dont want to be offensive so I thought this would be the best place to turn to. Would it be acceptable to participate in this tradition?

shortee426 · January 2011

I don't know if I would necessarily be offended, but I would certainly side eye you. Just as I think I would get the side eye if I did a unity candle at my non-Christian ceremony.

october010bride · January 2011

I would find it very weird if the breaking of the glass tradition was included in a non-Jewish wedding. Not sure if I'd be offended, but it would def be weird.

MrsMLRB · January 2011

I'd be insulted. Its not your tradition. The same way people would be upset if I had a handfasting or a unity candle ceremony. Its also the most recognizable tradition of a Jewish marriage.

And the meaning you are reading is a fairly new interpretation. There are many reasons for why we break the glass, the most common reason (and the only reason I had ever heard of until I came to the knot) is that we need to remember the destruction of the Second Temple even on our happiest of moments. Your interpretation, while valid, is a more new age meaning.

http://www.aish.com/jl/l/48969841.html

http://www.do-it-yourself-weddings.com/breaking-glass-jewish-wedding.html

http://www.suite101.com/content/jewish-wedding-traditions-101-a27288

Musicheals71 · January 2011

I agree with PPs, don't do it.

tenofcups4me · January 2011

Unlike the PPs, I would take it as a compliment and an honor that there was a Jewish tradition that you thought was meaningful enough that you wanted to incorporate it into your own wedding. Not only would I have no problem with it, but I would think it was great.

Then again, I included a unity candle in my first wedding, which was not definitely not a Christian wedding. And when DH and I got married, we created a document that was like a ketubah, except with our own wording, and asked all our attendees to sign it, which is a modification of a Quaker tradition. We also had no officiant, instead doing all the talking ourselves, which is also a Quaker tradition. And we're not remotely Quaker. Had I known about handfasting then, it's entirely possible I would have done that as well.

I think it's wonderful to use whatever customs and traditions speak to you and are meaningful regardless of where they come from.

sakana1840 · January 2011

I'm going to go with the fact that it's YOUR wedding and you should do what you want

it's a nice tradition, but it also symbolizes a lot more than just longevity of a marriage at a Jewish ceremony

for Jews it does go much further into some of our core beliefs and experiences

i think though if you included other different "cultural" ceremonies that would be cool too.

do what you want, don't be afraid of offending people, it's your wedding.

bsidebella · January 2011

I'm not offended by it, but I definitely would frown upon it. If you have friends who are Jewish, they might not take it as lightly. Like the PP's, they may very well take offense. I would not take communion at my wedding, or display a cross. That has very deep meaning in Catholicism and Christianity, just like the breaking of the glass does in Judaism.

But, if you must do it, I would explain in your program why you are including a symbol of the Jewish faith in your wedding. Explain the religious meaning, which is more important to us than the symbolism. We break the glass to remind us that though we may be celebrating, there are people who are suffering. We break the glass to remind us that though our enemies have attempted to destroy us, we rejoice because we are still here (and those are just the ones that I have heard).

Whatever you do, please be respectful.

SSaltzman87 · January 2011

I wouldn't be offended either, but it would definitely be a 'wtf?' moment.

Musicheals71 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_breaking-of-glass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:399Discussion:8979e0f7-c70f-4132-99c6-a586612cb333Post:368749e6-7633-4ed8-b63d-263d345fe792">Re: Breaking of the Glass</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't be offended either, but it would definitely be a 'wtf?' moment.
Posted by SSaltzman87[/QUOTE]

If this was FB, I would "like" your quote! ;-)

ARod22 · February 2011

It's a very beautiful tradition, which is why non-Jewish people want to borrow it sometimes. The problem is, in order for some things to be beautiful, they have to be left alone. The beauty of the tradition is intrinsic to our religion and history, and making it into something so flexible and cross-cultural really ruins it for us. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't like it to be done at someone's non-Jewish wedding. I wouldn't be offended per se, but I think it's a little bit silly and not very meaningful at all.

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