Pre-wedding Parties

Should I have a rehearsal dinner the day of the rehearsal?

Here's my dillema:

I'm getting married on a Sunday afternoon, but because the place I'm getting married is a function hall that does a wedding Friday and two weddings on Saturdays, the rehearsal is either the Wednesday or Thursday before the wedding.  That's a lot of time between rehearsal and wedding.  Most of my bridesmaids won't be there for the rehearsal, they live 4+ hours away, so I can't really ask them to come so far ahead (esp since one has a son who will be about 14months at the time).  Only my Maids of Honor (yes I have 2) and one of the flower girls will be there and there's no guarantee that the Best Man can be there that far ahead (he's in the Navy). 

I have discussed it with my mother and FMIL and we thought that maybe we might forgo the rehearsal dinner the day of and instead have barbacues at each parent's house the evening before to include all bridal party and each family's out of town guests (both houses are smallish and we have larger extended families coming from out of town, so one could start later than the other).

Does that seem right or should we really plan to have something for those that can make the rehearsal and still plan on the barbacues to make it up to those that can't make it?

Re: Should I have a rehearsal dinner the day of the rehearsal?

  • Maybe you and the MOHs go earlier in the week to scope it out so they know where to stand and everything then do the "official" rehearsal somewhere else Saturday night? From weddings I've been in as long as someone knows where to go/where to stand/etc everyone else can just fall into place. In my experience the rehearsal is more for bride and groom to know what to say/do when and work out kinks in the ceremony itself, the location isn't important. I'm in a similar situation and we're doing rehearsal in my parents backyard the night before, but my ceremony site has markers for where WP stands so it should be pretty easy to get everyone in the right spot day of.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_should-i-have-a-rehearsal-dinner-the-day-of-the-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:da514113-8c89-4f14-a8f9-c97d5afc01d4Post:5973e2d2-0f00-4a34-a226-d2dc14935a44">Should I have a rehearsal dinner the day of the rehearsal?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here's my dillema: I'm getting married on a Sunday afternoon, but because the place I'm getting married is a function hall that does a wedding Friday and two weddings on Saturdays, the rehearsal is either the Wednesday or Thursday before the wedding.  That's a lot of time between rehearsal and wedding.  Most of my bridesmaids won't be there for the rehearsal, they live 4+ hours away, so I can't really ask them to come so far ahead (esp since one has a son who will be about 14months at the time).  Only my Maids of Honor (yes I have 2) and one of the flower girls will be there and there's no guarantee that the Best Man can be there that far ahead (he's in the Navy).  I have discussed it with my mother and FMIL and we thought that maybe we might forgo the rehearsal dinner the day of and instead have barbacues at each parent's house the evening before to include all bridal party and each family's out of town guests (both houses are smallish and we have larger extended families coming from out of town, so one could start later than the other). Does that seem right or should we really plan to have something for those that can make the rehearsal and still plan on the barbacues to make it up to those that can't make it?
    Posted by starrynightrose[/QUOTE]
    I'd rethink even having a rehearsal, since so many of the key players probably won't even be there, anyway.

    If you do have the rehearsal, though, you should have the rehearsal dinner the day of, since it is a thank you for those who came to rehearsal.
    You can have a separate thing the day before the wedding, too, though, but I wouldn't call it a rehearsal dinner.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited November 2012
    You and your fi could go to the rehearsal, without the wedding party and parents. Figure out the logistics for the ceremony with your officiant. Have the RD/welcome dinner the night before, as you wish. You could give your wedding party their marching orders immediately before the dinner. Unless your ceremony is very complicated, there is no need for an on-site rehearsal.
                       
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