Hi Ladies,
This is a vent more than anything. My parents have generously offered by pay for most of my wedding expenses and I am paying for most of rest, with the exception of my FMIL who is giving us a small amount of money (what she can afford). My FSMIL and FFIL have not offered anything, although I know they don't much in terms of resources.
Because of their financial situations, I initially suggested having a joint bridal shower between my family and his, with my sister hosting and my mom footing the bill. However, the guest list became too large and the cost too high, so we nixed this idea and are now only having a shower for my friends and family. We are still inviting my fiance's FMIL, FSMIL, sister, sister-in-law, and grandmother, but none of his aunts and cousins.
I told my FMIL and FSMIL why the plan had changed and they are fine with it. What bothers me is that no one in his family offered to throw me a shower. For me, it's not about the gifts, it's about the gesture. Both women are very nice and I get along very well with his extended family. So I would like to share these pre-wedding festivities with them. I know that if I really want them to come, I should just invite them to my other shower. But with my parents paying for most of the wedding, I don't want them to spend even more money.
I realize that it may be financial issue to hold a shower, so I don't want to make a big deal out of it. It's just hurtful because I am close with his family. I know this is much different, but I just went to a baby shower for the girlfriend of one of his cousins, and everyone came (even though some of us had never met her). But no one wants to throw me a shower even though I've known them for 3 years?
I know I need to just let it go, but I'm having a hard time. Anyone have any suggestions? I obviously won't mention there not being a shower unless someone asks about it. There's still plenty of time to plan one because my wedding is not until July. I just wanted to get some opinions on how to deal with this situation. Again, it's not about the gifts for me.