Shower issues

catang1 · March 2010

I don't understand why people seem to feel the need to pass judgement on others based on some pre conceived notion of how they think things should be. This, I have found to be especially true, when it comes to weddings( 1st or 2nd) My MOH who is my sister ,seemed to feel that people may be"upset" to get an invitation to a shower for me because I am getting married for the 2nd time. She felt that it was more appropriate to call it a wedding celebration. My BMs and step mother (my mom is deceased)are throwing the shower . I am having a destination wedding and feel that if people get an invitation for a wedding celebration they will think it is the "at home" reception. I guess I am just frustrated!! I understand that a shower is not required for a 2nd wedding and am actually really honored that my BM are having one for me. I just wish that my sister was less concerned about what others thought. . We already have 40 people (maybe more)who are coming to our destination wedding in Jamaica and anyone who is close enough to FI and I to be invited is not going to feel "put off" about a shower" I know I can't change how she feels or who she is, just feeling frustrated. I love my sister and I know this is just how she is. It is just also so frustrating that there are so many "rules" that don't take into account real life.
There are so many different family dynamics out there than before and just because it's different, doesn't make it wrong. If two people are lucky enough to find a love strong enough to want to get married, that is all that should matter!!!!!
Thank you for letting me vent

Marrin713 · March 2010

You know, I have mulled over this shower business and i decided I'd kinda like it if someone threw me one. I have a feeling that my best friend will, but I am not sure. We're in our 50's and we have pretty much everything we need, but I think s specifically themed shower would be a blast!

Don't let your sister ruin it for you.

Lisa50 · March 2010

First ... Vent! It's always a good thing.

Second ... Enjoy your SHOWER! "Wedding celebration" almost sounds like a post-wedding event thrown in the couple's city after a destination wedding. Let your sister have someone plan a "wedding celebration" for her once your wedding is done. LOL!

Enjoy!!

BlueDolphin2620 · April 2010

I can understand your frustration with your sister, but kind of know what she means. When the idea of me having a shower came up, I was not going to have one. This is my 2nd and my FI first. His family was very dissappointed that I was not going to let them throw me a shower. I told them I had already done that and they said yes, but we did not get to do that with you. I finally relented, but since have talked with my family and friends about it, and they all think it is a great idea. Nobody who is close to me resents me having another shower. I am actually getting excited about it because I think it will be a great opportunity for the women in my family and the women in his family to get to know each other better. If I were you, I would tell your sister that things are different now, and all rules have gone out the door. Maybe she doesn't realize that second weddings are celebrated in a very similar way as first. Only I have found that the second time around, you know what you want and don't want and are less likely to be persuaded by those around you.

catang1 · April 2010

Thanks for the advice. I am letting it go and I am not letting it affect my happiness and appreciation for those who are happy for us and want to celebrate with us!

Shower issues

Re: Shower issues

Choose Another Board

Search Boards