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How do I handle this girl....

dominic+kayleedominic+kaylee
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Im going to try to keep this short! My fiances brothers girlfriend and I do not get along. Too many issues to list! His brother and girlfriend are not married but do have a baby together. They have a horrible off on relationship and she is always trying to compete with me. I have made it clear to my fiance I dont want her in the family photos( he is fine with it) How do I make sure she is not in them? Im not too worried about making my future inlaws mad about it. It might upset them but I have my reasons. Any ideas about what I should do!!!!
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Re: How do I handle this girl....

  • RyansBelovedBrideRyansBelovedBride member
    500 Comments
    Yep. Even though she's not married into the family, she is family. She's the mother of your about-to-be niece/nephew.  Like it or not, she's family, so trying to cut her from the family photos will be seen as you starting unneccesary drama. I doubt it's worth it. Just grin and bear it.  Seriously, you should be so over the moon happy on that day, hopefully this will roll off your back.
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  • MeganG12345MeganG12345
    10 Comments
    If she was just a SO you might have a leg to stand on, but since she's the mother of your future nephew there's no way to keep her out of the photos. 

    Maybe you'll luck out and they'll be "off again" when your wedding rolls around. 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You could make an annoucement and say "I don't like her, so she can't be in any photos at MY wedding!"  Of course, you'd look like an immature child, but that is a way to do it.  

    Basically, no matter how you word it, it's going to sound like you are stomping your feet and whining.  
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    If you have such a hard time with seeing her face, take pictures with her in them to give to family members and then just Photoshop her out of your copy. The drama of telling her she's not allowed in photos isn't worth it and is very honestly extremely rude.

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  • dragonwagondragonwagon
    100 Comments
    Take a family photo with her and a family photo without her.
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  • Cynthia1207Cynthia1207 member
    1000 Comments

    Just take some pics with the immediate family, some with her and then just choose the ones that she's not in.  Avoiding drama is better.  And really, on that day, you won't care.

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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    You could have the mob "handle" her.  That way you don't have to get your hands dirty.

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  • Aks3131Aks3131 member
    100 Comments

    Take some pictures with her and some without. Then just choose the pictures without her for your album & prints. Since your fiance is ok with her not being in the pictures he'll be ok with choosing pictures that she's not in.

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  • jesslca113jesslca113 member
    10 Comments
    No offense to anyone, but I disagree on needing to have this girl in family photos.  If these 2 people were divorced but still civil you would not have her in the pics just because she's the nephews mother.  I suggest just making a list of the pictures that are important to you, complete with names, and give it to your photographer.  That way you get the pics you want and don't have to come out and say you don't want her in them.  Sure she'll end up being in some of them, but you'll still have the ones you want.
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  • katzluv88katzluv88 member
    10 Comments
    I agree with all the posters except Jessica (SORRY) speaking from experience, i've been to 3 weddings on FI side of the family and never once was i ever asked to be a part of the photos let alone his 2 sisters weddings! I was always the girl who was the guest even though during the last wedding we went to we had just had our son and i thought i would be consider family especially since now we have been together since '06. i felt extremely hurt and even if they didn't order those photos with me in them that's fine but at least let her feel like she's part of the family on your special day. There's an extreme amount of tension now with his sisters who unfortunately i had no way of getting around and HAD to include them in my wedding.  
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_handle-this-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:4cccdaf8-95bd-434d-9bd8-7e0cdf23d192Post:9dd04861-cfee-4a3f-a2e2-8b068fc4d1de">How do I handle this girl....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Im going to try to keep this short! My fiances brothers girlfriend and I do not get along. Too many issues to list! His brother and girlfriend are not married but do have a baby together. They have a horrible off on relationship and she is always trying to compete with me. I have made it clear to my fiance I dont want her in the family photos( he is fine with it) How do I make sure she is not in them? Im not too worried about making my future inlaws mad about it. It might upset them but I have my reasons. Any ideas about what I should do!!!!
    Posted by dominic+kaylee[/QUOTE]

    How old are you and how old is she?
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  • AmethystMSUAmethystMSU
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_handle-this-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:4cccdaf8-95bd-434d-9bd8-7e0cdf23d192Post:16dd1a5b-1a7e-477e-9e48-fb4589971751">Re: How do I handle this girl....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just take some pics with the immediate family, some with her and then just choose the ones that she's not in.  Avoiding drama is better.  And really, on that day, you won't care.
    Posted by Cynthia1207[/QUOTE]
    This. My sisters have significant others of 3-4 years at the time of our wedding, so we did family photos with them and without them. Since FBIL and his GF aren't married, she doesn't HAVE to be in the photos, so hopefully no one throws a fit. Just tell the photographer ahead of time that you'd like a couple photos of immediate family only and then a couple photos of immediate family + S/Os.
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  • MrsKathyCMrsKathyC
    1000 Comments First Anniversary
    Our family photos are just of parents & siblings.  None of our sibling's spouces were in any of our "formal" pictures.
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  • dominic+kayleedominic+kaylee
    First Comment

    Thanks for the advice. For the most part I like what everyone had to say. I do agree that putting her in a few would save drama and I dont have to order those pictures..Or I can just learn to take the high road when it comes to her and be nice no matter what. Its clear neither one of us are leaving this family. So yes I am going to be the bigger person and be nice to her. Thanks again.

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