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wedding shower question

allicariallicari member
10 Comments
in Pre-wedding Parties

I'm not quite sure who is "responsible" for my wedding shower.  My mom wanted to pay for half and have FMIL pay other half, but we've realized we probably have 30 - 40 more guests on our invite list.  Should half still be expected?.

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Re: wedding shower question

  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Nothing should ever be expected. If your mom wants to host she should foot the bill. If she wants to involve your FMIL she can call her up and ask if she'd like to co-host or in any other way help out with your shower. Your mom also needs to understand that if FMIL co-hosts her ideas and input need to be taken into account while planning and they both need to work out a budget together so everyone is comfortable. 
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_wedding-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:dabea069-1105-42bc-8e8d-779b1ff003a3Post:ba3c4ee7-fd4b-469b-af30-20867f84bc97">wedding shower question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not quite sure who is "responsible" for my wedding shower.  My mom wanted to pay for half and have FMIL pay other half, but we've realized we probably have 30 - 40 more guests on our invite list.  Should half still be expected?.
    Posted by allicari[/QUOTE]


    Anyone who offers to throw you a shower is responsible. Anyone can throw you one, except for your fiancé, of course. Some areas still view mothers of the bride throwing the shower to be gift grabby, so you might want to consider that.

    Anyway, your mom can ask your FMIL to pay half, but "Thou who pays gets a say." So the FMIL will get veto power and all that. And she gets to decide what "half" means.

    30-40 more people? That means you're looking at a pretty big party there... may I ask what the actual total would be?
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  • allicariallicari member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i'd say around 45 on my side, probably 15 on their side.  It's tricky because I have a pretty big family and they have the exact opposite.  I hope I didn't come across as greedy or expecting anything....I'm just not sure what to say to my FMIL because she asks about the shower and my FI is an only child, so she says shes's not sure what she's supposed to do.  In general, I feel bad asking any one to pay for anything, but I get all the questions asked to me (idk if you know what I mean).
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