As scooby would say "Ruh Roh"

suz62984 · May 2010

So I organized and updated our "final" guest list today. (seperate frustration: After The Knot changed the stupid guest list organizer I just went back and input everything, by hand, into excel.) Anywho...My final number came up 115 people over what I need. I had things under control until FMIL added an additional 35 people(these people really should be invited). So now i'm wondering... what is the typical percentage that usually RSVPs no (i.e. I've been told that if you want 150 invite more than that)? But how many more?

Lenore2010 · May 2010

I think 10% tops, but I think $ wise, you need to plan as if everyone invited will come because that is just so variable. The largest wedding I attended was 299 people, and the bride was astonished that everyone who RSVP'd attended and only three people had sent regrets! Expect the unexpected and budget accordingly.

It is true that for that wedding, there was a lot of special sentiment surrounding it because the groom had nearly died in a car accident two years prior, but STILL it could happen to you!

spenet1 · May 2010

I definitely agree - studies say about 10% send regrets, but that means some brides have 0% and some have 20%! You MUST plan for everyone to attend. Only invite the number you can afford.

jagore08 · May 2010

I invited about 85-90 people to our wedding and we had 80 RSVP yes. Our guest list was mostly family and in my family everyone goes.

megk8oz · May 2010

We invited like 115 total, and I think 102 RSVP'd yes ... and then like 4 people called me the week of the wedding and said they couldn't come after all, so counting DH and I, we were at 100 even day of.

lauralaur · May 2010

We had about 2/3 attend, but my step-sister invited 154 people and 150 people attended. It all depends on when your wedding is and who you are inviting. To be safe, always plan for 100% attendance, because it does happen.

aerinpegadrak · May 2010

Can you afford and fit all of the people you're inviting? If you can't, you're setting yourself up for disaster.

We invited 49 and had I think 40 in attendance. Most of the regrets were from people who we knew in advance couldn't make the trip.

suz62984 · May 2010

So after a few moments of panic...I'm going to talk to FI about reducing the list. Unfortunately I think most of the people I invite will attend. Our problem is that we both have large families that neither of us know. Our families will take up all of the attendance and neither of us will be able to invite our friends at this rate.

Aerin - I've been trying to figure out a way to fit everyone in since they are our closest friends, and most closer than my own family members, however it would cost $6,781 more to fit them in. Ughh...I'm going to have to be creative about this.

emilyinchile · May 2010

Wait, how many people are you at if you're 115 OVER?!

And yes, you really do need to plan for 100% attendance because you just know that if you don't and rely on some average decline rate, yours will be the one wedding that everyone can make, and you'll be screwed.

suz62984 · May 2010

Thanks gotta i'll look into that. My mom is helping to pay for the reception so she may or may not go for it. We'll have to wait and see.

Another thing that may save me is that FI and I decided that we didn't want to have kids at the reception. This may deter a few "never met" cousins on his side that have young children. That would cut about 40 people actually.

gottahavashorti · May 2010

My parents were okay with it when they realized the list was out of control and, while they were willing to pay for guests who didn't fit in the budget, my mom also wanted FI to have the venue he loved and it didn't hold enough to invite both the huge family and our friends. FMIL was upset by it but she didn't opt to use all of her 'friend' invites for family either.

Hopefully your mom will go for it. Mine never considered asking us to eliminate our closest friends in order to invite relatives we didn't know terribly well.

aerinpegadrak · May 2010

I didn't invite any of my extended family, that would have gotten out of control. The only people invited on my side were my blood siblings and their spouses. (My parents remarried after I left for college, so I barely know my stepsiblings, hence they weren't invited.) H's family is a bit more tightly-knit, plus his uncle performed the ceremony. So we invited his mother's siblings, but not their kids. (One of his cousins was in town on business and "crashed," but we were okay with that.)

I also hid behind venue size. We knew we could only comfortably hold about 50, so I finally told my mom, "We're full. There are a lot of rules I'm okay with breaking for the wedding, but I'm pretty sure I still have to abide by the laws of physics, and two pieces of matter cannot occupy the same space. Call me old-fashioned, but I'm not having a non-Newtonian wedding." There were no more guest list additions after that.

I agree with Gotta, if you can play the pity card and point out that you're not going to be able to invite any of your friends if you have to invite all the relatives, your mom might bend on the guest list.

As scooby would say "Ruh Roh"

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