Venting

Joker1628 · December 2011

Our honeymoon has been planned for awhile. A 7-night cruise, which I am beyond excited for as I've never been on a cruise before.

We're flying to Orlando the morning after our wedding, then leaving on the cruise the day after that. The catch; his parents are flying down with us.
They aren't going on the cruise with us, but they want us to stay in FL at the Bay Lake Towers in Disney with them that night. We have our own room and they aren't making any demands as to how we spend our saturday. They're paying for our honeymoon, which is nice (my father is paying for most of the weddding so they decided that they could best contribute that way).

I'm so grateful for this, but I just didn't picture flying to my honeymoon the morning after my wedding with my in laws sitting on the airplane behind us.
I've expressed this to FI several times, but I dont want to hurt his feelings, and I don't want to hurt their feelings.
Honestly, if I had it my way. I'd have a late flight and spend the night relaxing in a nice hotel before boarding the cruise. Not flying out at 8am and spending the day wandering around Disney. Ugh.

Joker1628 · December 2011

I should clarify, they are flying down to FL to take a mini vacay as well, but they will remain in Orlando and we will go off on our cruise.

Snippylynn · December 2011

Seriously? Suck it up cupcake. You got married, and you'll have 7 days with just the two of you to do whatever you want.

And this: Bay Lake Towers in Disney with them that night. We have our own room and they aren't making any demands as to how we spend our saturday.

Tells me that all you two have to do is say "We're tired from last night. We'll catch you around dinner time at x restaurant?" Voila. Problem solved.

MNVegas · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_venting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:277ff663-e50b-4a71-9ee6-1325cb6acf7cPost:eae5ec07-785f-45ce-bf25-032dd283d244">Venting</a>:
[QUOTE]Our honeymoon has been planned for awhile. A 7-night cruise, which I am beyond excited for as I've never been on a cruise before. We're flying to Orlando the morning after our wedding, then leaving on the cruise the day after that. The catch; his parents are flying down with us. They aren't going on the cruise with us, but they want us to stay in FL at the Bay Lake Towers in Disney with them that night. We have our own room and they aren't making any demands as to how we spend our saturday. They're paying for our honeymoon, which is nice (my father is paying for most of the weddding so they decided that they could best contribute that way).<strong> I'm so grateful for this, but I just didn't picture flying to my honeymoon the morning after my wedding with my in laws sitting on the airplane behind us</strong>. I've expressed this to FI several times, but I dont want to hurt his feelings, and I don't want to hurt their feelings. Honestly, if I had it my way. I'd have a late flight and spend the night relaxing in a nice hotel before boarding the cruise. Not flying out at 8am and spending the day wandering around Disney. Ugh.
Posted by Joker1628[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>What's the difference if your ILs (who are paying for your HM) are sitting behind you or some complete strangers? Really this is what you pick to complain about! </div><div>
</div><div>Since they are not making any demands on you and not coming along on the actual HM, just accept their very generous gift of a HM. Stop whining and trying to make trouble. Maybe you can arrange to sit several rows in front or behind the ILs on the plane so you don't have to encounter these kind, generous people. UGH!!

</div>

Joker1628 · December 2011

I agree that I need to suck it up, I was just venting. Thanks for the... tough love? Not sure what to call it. I appreciate your thoughts but I don't like being told that I'm ungrateful. I'm not trying to make trouble, like I said, I just didn't invision this to be the beginning of my honeymoon.

cupcakewarfare · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_venting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:277ff663-e50b-4a71-9ee6-1325cb6acf7cPost:eae5ec07-785f-45ce-bf25-032dd283d244">Venting</a>:
[QUOTE]Our honeymoon has been planned for awhile. A 7-night cruise, which I am beyond excited for as I've never been on a cruise before. We're flying to Orlando the morning after our wedding, then leaving on the cruise the day after that. The catch; his parents are flying down with us. They aren't going on the cruise with us, but they want us to stay in FL at the Bay Lake Towers in Disney with them that night. <strong>We have our own room and they aren't making any demands as to how we spend our saturday.</strong> <strong>They're paying for our honeymoon</strong>, which is nice (my father is paying for most of the weddding so they decided that they could best contribute that way). I'm so grateful for this, but I just didn't picture flying to my honeymoon the morning after my wedding with my in laws <strong>sitting on the airplane behind us</strong>. I've expressed this to FI several times, but I dont want to hurt his feelings, and I don't want to hurt their feelings. Honestly, if I had it my way. I'd have a late flight and<strong> spend the night relaxing in a nice hotel before boarding the cruise</strong>. Not flying out at 8am and spending the day <strong>wandering around Disney</strong>. Ugh.
Posted by Joker1628[/QUOTE]

I understand that you're venting. But you already know that this is actually a very good situation to be in, even if you haven't realized it.

You have a room to yourselves. At least you're not sleeping on a pull-out chair or something like that. And you also said that they have no demands. So basically, you sit on the same plane as them and you use the same room key as them for one night. You don't even have to eat with them if you don't want to. As far as wandering around Disney, there are many relaxing things for you to do, even if it's just sitting on a beach.

I don't understand your comment about staying in a nice hotel before the cruise. Bay Lake is one of the best hotels at Disney. Most people can't afford to spend a night there and you're getting it for free. The amenities there are fantastic. And because of the cost of the resort, you probably won't see as many chlidren as you would if your IL's decided to get one of the suites at All Star Music.

I strongly advise that you not say another word to your FI. I know you'd rather it be different and that you feel grateful towards them, but it will come off that you don't.

Joker1628 · December 2011

I am incredibly lucky, I'll be the first one to admit it. It's just not what I envisioned. I'm sucking it up and biting my tongue. It's only a day and I can handle that. I'm just worried that I'm going to be incredibly tired and not going to want to be spending time with in laws all day. My future mother and father in law are also paying for my future brother in law and his girlfriend to fly down to FL and join their mini vacation. So like it or not I will be spending the entire day after the wedding surrounded by inlaws. I'm sure we will have fun and make lots of memories, I'm just anxious about it now. Once the day comes I'll be too excited to care I think.

jennylove810 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_venting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:277ff663-e50b-4a71-9ee6-1325cb6acf7cPost:de60c9bc-650b-4851-9e3e-7acb9c45fda5">Re: Venting</a>:
[QUOTE]Seriously? Suck it up cupcake. You got married, and you'll have 7 days with just the two of you to do whatever you want. And this: Bay Lake Towers in Disney with them that night. We have our own room and they aren't making any demands as to how we spend our saturday. Tells me that all you two have to do is say "We're tired from last night. We'll catch you around dinner time at x restaurant?" Voila. Problem solved.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

Totally this.

Go along with whatever your in-laws want to do for the day or so before you head off on your cruise. If they're paying for your HM, I kinda feel they've earned the right to own you for a few hours while you're in Orlando. I get that you want your privacy and R&R, but no worries - your weeklong sexfest will be great even if you have to wander around Disney with family the day before ;)

quiggels219 · December 2011

My fmil gave us her time share in Mexico for a honeymoon - I wouldn't want to fly to my honeymoon with her either (although I think I'd make thecomment to my moh and hold back on complaining to fi about it) I'd fly with them and spend the day in disney (i actually love disney and would be psyched for tht part) but I get you feeling like ugh this is not my ideal - she's not saying she's refusing to do it she's just saying it's not her ideal situation and maybe felt this was a place she could come and complain for a minute. Also no one knows her relationship with her inlaws so maybe we shouldn't judge so quickly. On that note - I'd use the tired excuse - meet them for dinner and just focus on how lucky you are and how nice his family is for giving you such a great trip - it's one day/night.

Joker1628 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_venting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:277ff663-e50b-4a71-9ee6-1325cb6acf7cPost:8010c324-c299-4db6-bd07-caa1ba381d94">Re: Venting</a>:
[QUOTE]My fmil gave us her time share in Mexico for a honeymoon - I wouldn't want to fly to my honeymoon with her either (although I think I'd make thecomment to my moh and hold back on complaining to fi about it) I'd fly with them and spend the day in disney (i actually love disney and would be psyched for tht part) but I get you feeling like ugh this is not my ideal - she's not saying she's refusing to do it she's just saying it's not her ideal situation and maybe felt this was a place she could come and complain for a minute. Also no one knows her relationship with her inlaws so maybe we shouldn't judge so quickly. On that note - I'd use the tired excuse - meet them for dinner and just focus on how lucky you are and how nice his family is for giving you such a great trip - it's one day/night.
Posted by quiggels219[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thanks for the support, I obviously am not refusing and I"m glad someone understands and can give some advice without being judged or told I'm rude and ungrateful. I appreciate your thoughts :)

</div>

Snippylynn · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_venting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:277ff663-e50b-4a71-9ee6-1325cb6acf7cPost:8010c324-c299-4db6-bd07-caa1ba381d94">Re: Venting</a>:
[QUOTE]My fmil gave us her time share in Mexico for a honeymoon - I wouldn't want to fly to my honeymoon with her either (although I think I'd make thecomment to my moh and hold back on complaining to fi about it) I'd fly with them and spend the day in disney (i actually love disney and would be psyched for tht part) but I get you feeling like ugh this is not my ideal - she's not saying she's refusing to do it she's just saying it's not her ideal situation and maybe felt this was a place she could come and complain for a minute. <strong>Also no one knows her relationship with her inlaws so maybe we shouldn't judge so quickly. </strong>On that note - I'd use the tired excuse - meet them for dinner and just focus on how lucky you are and how nice his family is for giving you such a great trip - it's one day/night.
Posted by quiggels219[/QUOTE]

I'd say, even if your relationship with your IL's isn't great, you can (and should) suck it up for <strong>one day</strong>, for the people who are paying for your honeymoon.

OP's comment about having to wander around Disney? It's totally incongruous with the statement that they are making no demands on her. She doesn't have to wander around Disney, there are clearly no expectations of that for her, so why throw that in?

Sure, it is a place to vent. And OP did. We came in and told her she was being silly. Which is our prerogative.

AdeleDazeem · December 2011

We had a destination wedding in Bermuda. My parents flew on the same flight as us to our wedding. They also stayed one extra day longer so we hung out with them the day following our wedding.

It'll be fine. I love my parents and I was happy to have some time with them, but I was also married and wanted some time with my husband. We made it through and got a week to ourselves afterwards.

It's not ideal, but they're paying for your whole honeymoon! Just try to relax and remember that it's one day - you'll be on your cruise before you know it.

Maggie0829 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_venting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:277ff663-e50b-4a71-9ee6-1325cb6acf7cPost:03aac126-5b7b-4e9c-92e0-127275a80bdb">Re: Venting</a>:
[QUOTE]I am incredibly lucky, I'll be the first one to admit it. It's just not what I envisioned. I'm sucking it up and biting my tongue. It's only a day and I can handle that. I'm just worried that I'm going to be incredibly tired and not going to want to be spending time with in laws all day. My future mother and father in law are also paying for my future brother in law and his girlfriend to fly down to FL and join their mini vacation. So like it or not I will be spending the entire day after the wedding surrounded by inlaws. I'm sure we will have fun and make lots of memories, I'm just anxious about it now. Once the day comes I'll be too excited to care I think.
Posted by Joker1628[/QUOTE]

I am a bit confused by this because you said that your ILs had no demands whatsoever in regards to how you spend your time the day before your cruise. So if you don't want to be surrounded by a lot of people (I get it I didn't really want to be surrounded by a lot of people the day after my wedding because I was exhausted and just wanted to lay on the couch and watch tv) then you don't have to be surrounded by them.

As for flying...trust me it won't be romantic and all lovey-dovey (not like they make it look in movies), it will be hot and stuffy and smelly and since you will be flying to Orlando, loud and noisy with kids crying and screaming for Mickey. Also, you don't have to sit anywhere near them if you really don't want to.

It is wonderful that they are paying for your HM and even more wonderful that there are no strings attached to it. Be grateful for the paid vacation and just remember that it is only a flight, it isn't like they will be bunking with you throughout your entire HM. Some perspective is needed.

Oh, and the day my H and I flew out for our HM, my MIL drove us to the airport...certainly not romantic but I didn't give a crap because 1) I didn't have to drive and 2) we didn't have to pay to park our car for a week.

dalm0m · December 2011

I can see why you are a bit . . . shall we say uncomfortable. You want the alone time to start after you leave the reception but it's isn't going to & your head knows this. It sounds like you are willing to grin & bear it but you wanted to whine a bit. Better you should grumble on here, then to them. These folks are your new family & it's part of the for better or worse package.

You have gotten it off your chest. You asked but it's not chaning so take a deep breath & let it go.

Bon Voyage. Btw, if you haven't already go on to www.cruisecritic.com register, find your Roll Call thread & sign up for your M&G. Tell people it's your HM; the cruise might do something special for you. It's worth a shot.

Venting

Re: Venting

Choose Another Board

Search Boards