Should I invite my professors/advisor?

weddingaugust7 · June 2010

Should I invite my professor, who is also my adviser for my doctoral program? I'm thinking I should, but I know her academically/professionally, not really personally. Though recently she has taken me more under her wing, so I feel an invite would be a nice gesture, even if she has no time to attend.

That leaves me with deciding whether to invite the other two professors in the same department: they've both written me letters of recommendation and worked with me one on one, but I don't keep in touch with them regularly or on a personal basis. I haven't really talked with one of the professors for several months. If I invite one professor, should I invite all three? Since they work in the same department, I believe they might hear about it.

By the way, the number of guests is not a problem right now. I think I have room for everyone.

Thanks!

danieliza1127 · June 2010

I wouldn't invite any of them, or at least definitely not the other two that you aren't even in contact with anymore. Your wedding is a personal event and it sounds like you don't have a personal relationship with these people, just a professional one.

shannonalise · June 2010

I think it's a nice gesture, but not necessary. If you feel comfortable, you can certainly invite your professor/advisor, but I don't think it means you need to invite the other two, even though they work in the same department. I think it's probably clear that your relationship with the one is stronger - no one will question it or be offended, I'm sure.

But again, it's not necessary. If you wouldn't mind her being there, go ahead and invite her! Even if she cannot attend, it will probably make her feel good.

Patineuse1124 · June 2010

I'm inviting my 3 advisors (undergrad, masters, phd) because they have had an important impact on my life and have helped make me the person I am today. If you are in a doctoral program you likely place a high value on your intellectual self, and therefore your advisor likely plays an important role in that. Since space is not an issue I would invite her. As to the other two, if your relationship is just at the point that you have taken classes with them and they have written you LOR then I wouldn't invite them, but if they have provided you additional mentoring, then I would consider inviting them as well.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2010

I wouldn't. And I'm not inviting my advisor. While I like him and all, it IS a professional relationship. He would feel the same way and he might also feel uncomfortable attending. This is in my case, others may have different experiences.

squirrly · June 2010

I answered in your post on Invites.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invite-professors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:6ef4bf46-25f1-432f-873d-8cf99bd8611aPost:f10e5efb-8b92-4df8-bc1d-5f505a8f7b4a">Re: Who to Invite: My Professors?</a>:
[QUOTE]Would you go to happy hour or dinner with her? If not, then absolutely no. A letter of rec doesn't translate into a wedding invite, really.
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

Moneypenny424 · June 2010

I probably wouldn't bother with the 2 you aren't in good contact with, but I probably would invite your current advisor. It's your call, I don't think it would be bad NOT to invite her, but if you think she would appreciate it and you'd like to have her there, go for it! I mean, I invited some people from my workplace where the relationship was largely professional.

Patineuse1124 · June 2010

Actually, squirrly's suggestion makes sense. I've had lunch/dinner/coffee with all of the advisors I'm inviting. My FI isn't inviting any of his advisors though but he hasn't really kept in touch with them either.

Lisa50 · June 2010

No.

frenchy730 · June 2010

I don't know about this... if you want to keep your relationship with this person strictly professional, I'd say no, unless you are making a rule to invite other co-workers who are not friends as well. If you have a more personal relationship with this advisor, I'd consider it.

Think of it this way-- would you want someone who is in large part responsible for your accademic career seeing the shananigans at your wedding? I think my thesis advisor is awesome, but I don't want him seeing my friends, and potentially me, getting jiggy with it and sipping on cocktails all night. Might give the wrong impression.

thesuninherhead · June 2010

I wouldn't (and I didn't). As much as you may admire your advisors professionally, I think it would be personally awkward for them if you were to invite them.

Should I invite my professors/advisor?

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