More success.. comes at a cost.

CowgirlK39 · January 2012

I got even MORE done this weekend! But it was possibly the most stressed I have ever been in my life.

My FSIL (getting married month before me), her MOH and my FMIL all went to the Brides World show that was going on. We had specific things to get done, but its so hard when you have a crowd of people following you. But of course, FMIL needed to be the center of attention, and constantly complained that events like this didnt exist when she got married, and then complained to me that FSIL's MOH was more involved than she was in the plans. However, FMIL makes stupid comments or ideas, and also is not paying a cent for her wedding, so i dont know why she thinks she deserves a say in anything.

So that meant she leeched onto me and bugged me with stupid ideas all day. I was trying to book a limo and FMIL was butting in saying irrelevant things, and making sure everyone knew she was the MOG. I was stressed that I just dropped all that money on a limo and she was making it worse by acting stupid. I began to feel sick, and realized my blood pressure was up so high, that my neck, face and eyes felt hot and swollen. Luckily, FSIL only needed one more thing and we got the heck outta there.

Right after the show, I picked up my FI and met with my mom to book our reception hall and plan the dinner. My mom was the opposite! My family is paying for the reception, so she went hog wild! She asked us what we wanted and then added tons on top of it. We were so happy. But... the whole time, FMIL was texting the crap outta me with stupid ideas, and asking if we were done yet at the caterers. She sent me a picture of a cheap halloween decoration from the dollar store and asked if we wanted to use it as decor. I was at my wits end, and just lost it. I texted her "NO. Thats cheesy!" My FI said I shouldn't have said that, but I reminded him he says worse things to her all the time.

So, This weekend we got our limo, caterer, and my mom and I booked our florist the day before all the drama, so we are really on track! I just wish I didn't have to have a stroke to do it all. Sorry for the rant/long post. Just thought I'd share.

meagandal · January 2012

Sorry you're having to deal with tough in-laws, my FIls are pretty stressful to me too, but luckily she is prety uninvolved, I don't know if she's even excited for the wedding, but I just get offhanded comments, sighs or eyerolling when I talk about it, she doesn't have any actual opinions to share, so I guess it could be a LOT worse!

How upstate are you? or rather what part of the state are you in? I know TK things 70% of NY is "upstate" Personally I consider myself to be fingerlakes. I am in Elmira/Corning area and we are getting married in Geneva (on the tip of Seneca lake)

mamameech · January 2012

oh dear lord my blood pressure rose just reading that!! i dunno if it's because i'm older and we're doing all the planning and paying ourselves, but we don't have to deal with that stuff - thank god!! What a deterrant!! It's really taking away the fun and joy from this experience for you - I'm so sorry

CowgirlK39 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_success-comes-cost?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:37eeb228-c310-4e4b-a3c2-bf4545aa68b5Post:8d77ed7c-b69d-4313-bf53-0fc4335ceb61">Re: More success.. comes at a cost.</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry you're having to deal with tough in-laws, my FIls are pretty stressful to me too, but luckily she is prety uninvolved, I don't know if she's even excited for the wedding, but I just get offhanded comments, sighs or eyerolling when I talk about it, she doesn't have any actual opinions to share, so I guess it could be a LOT worse! How upstate are you? or rather what part of the state are you in? I know TK things 70% of NY is "upstate" Personally I consider myself to be fingerlakes. I am in Elmira/Corning area and we are getting married in Geneva (on the tip of Seneca lake)
Posted by meagandal[/QUOTE]

I am northeast of Buffalo (town ot Newstead). Corning area is beautiful, Im jealous of you! Haha.

Oh, and I forgot to add, my FSIL's MOH kept butting into my plans too and telling me what i "should" do. She got married last year, but was running around acting like a bride. I was trying to talk to our jewler at their booth and she butted in and was talking about some deal she got on her rings somewhere else. She then told me to go to some other store. Uh, Nooo! I know what I want and what I'm doing! I didn't ask for advice, so why do you feel you need to tell me what to do? Ugh! She also told me NOT to book a limo, and instead make my wedding party drive themselves around. I have never ever heard of this, is it common?? I just cannot imagine telling them "Oh thanks, now that you are here all dressed up, get back into your car and drive over there for pics!"

DeadUtopia · January 2012

Sometimes I thank my lucky stars that my FMIL is more detached than hovering! I guess she's the lesser of two evils after reading this. At least you got a lot of great stuff done, and maybe this will be a learning experience on how to deal with your FMIL for future special events (kids' bday parties and such?)

As for the limo thing, if I wanted pics taken at another location you bet I would rent a limo instead of telling them to drive themselves. Thankfully our church is pretty enough that I don't want any other pics, so we can skip the cost of a limo.

[Deleted User] · January 2012

We are paying for everything and MIL is still butting in sometimes. I just talk very minimal wedding when she asks and most times it's just a Yes, or No. She saw my dress and started to talk about it and I had to hide it. So now that it isn't hanging on my office door she wants to know if it is ready. Arggh

There are always people who drive us nuts. Try to stay away and say as little as possible. Leave the talk with MIL to your FI. Maybe he can deal with it.

More success.. comes at a cost.

Re: More success.. comes at a cost.

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