Bridal Party Dilemma

LouD042109 · June 2012

As of right now I have three bridesmaids and one maid of honor. The bridesmaids are a friend (known since high school), and two good friends (from college). I have two other good friends from college that I think at one time I told them they would be part of my wedding. I have known these two good friends longer than I have known one of the friends from college that I stated would be in my wedding. I feel closer to the friend that I have known for shorter time.

I get this gut feeling that I should be adding more to my bridal party but then again I feel like it would be too many. Is it wrong not to have the other two in the party? How do I tell the other two that I do not want them in the bridal party? Should I just have a bridal party that consists of maid of honor, and two bridesmaids (highschool friend and the one college friend that I am really close with)?

Sorry if this is a bit confusing but it has been bothering me. I feel like I can't set the plans for my bridal party.

sparkles776 · June 2012

I am a little confused. I would do what makes you happiest. I wouldnt go adding more people. Have you asked the 3 bridesmaids and the MOH already? If thats the case, I wouldnt boot anyone out without a reason. If you havent asked though and you only want to ask 3 people total, so be it.

bar10521 · June 2012

Your bridal party should be who you feel closest to. There isn't any set number for your bridal party it's however many you want. You could alwas ask them to do a reading during the ceremony if you don't want them as BMs.

cnf2013 · June 2012

I had a close friend in college tell me to get ready to go bridesmaids dress shopping as her bf and her were planning to get married. She said this days bfore we graduated. A few months later I got an invite to the wedding but no tht BP. I was fine with it, things change.

In the same regard, in my excitement about being engaged I asked a girl I was best friends with all throughout college but that I'm not as close to now. Another friend of mine from college I got really close with the last two since we graduated. I feel bad for not asking her instead. She even kind of hinted last week when I saw her that she was hoping to be in the BP. I felt really bad because I am closer to her than the other girl, but I made my decision and it's just what it is now.

Think about it, decide what makes you happiest. However, don't go booting people to make room for others. If you feel you should add more than do it. You don't have to have a reason or explain to the those girls why they weren't picked. I never got an explaination from my college who said I would be in her BP than never was. Put a good deal of thought into it.

emilyb213 · June 2012

Bar is right.

Don't add them if you're on the fence about it. If you would have asked me a couple years ago, I would have told you that my two best friends from high school would definitely be in my bridal party. However, we're just not that close anymore, and even though they're two girls who I can go years without seeing and then pick up like I just saw them last week, I have other friends that I'm closer with now.

Good luck!!

anastassiiat · June 2012

I agree with the PPs! My MOH is a friend whom I've only known for 3 years, but we became super close through that time, so I've asked her over some of the girls whom I've known for a long time but don't see/talk to as much any more. So do whatever makes you happier and seems right for you! Also, not sure if this is an issue as well since you didn't really mention it, but it is totally ok to have different amount of bridesmaids and groomsmen if your FI is undecided how many guys he will have on his side. Good luck!

blferguson1s · June 2012

It's kind of an awkward situation. FI and I had a cookout this weekend, and my aunt assumed my cousin was a BM (which she isn't). My cousin looked over at me and asked if she was one. I had to just flat at tell her no, and I felt awful. It's nothing against her, but I'm closer to two of the girls in my fraternity. They're like sisters to me. Just don't even hint that they might be in because if you decide against it, you'll end up feeling like I did.

MandiNewMommy · June 2012

It is about you and all your "friends" can't be in the bridal party or you wont have any quest. Maybe the could hand out programes? Help with something at the reception? If not just send them an invite...I mean how many of us REALLY want to be a BM anyways. Saves them money and time! I wouldnt worry! Do what YOU want to do it is YOUR wedding!

LouD042109 · June 2012

Thanks ladies! All your advice was very helpful. I feel a lot better about the girls I have chosen to be in my bridal party. I haven't asked them yet but that's becuase I want to be creative about it. I am still trying to think of a nice way to ask.

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