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HELP ME JESUS!!!!

20pearls1620pearls16 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
in African American Weddings
The devil is busy! I sent my punk a** wasband an email today telling him when the wedding was amongst other things pertaining to the children. He told me the kids can't come or participate in the wedding because it falls on his weekend and he has plans. We ALL know that is BS. He is very bitter about me leaving him and even more bitter about me re-marrying. Lord help me deal with this man Mr. Deacon of the Church. I pray that God softens his heart. The girls have their dresses, shoes etc. My son was getting his tux next weekend. Regardless of what happens I will not let him ruin my day. Pray sistahs pray. 
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Re: HELP ME JESUS!!!!

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    footballwife77footballwife77 member
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    WOW! I hope everything works out!!!
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    msbdumasmsbdumas member
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    See...why he gotta act like that ? FI has a son from a previous marriage..this is making me nervous..I hope stepson mom don't act like that when comes down to the day ! I will be praying for you girl !
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    yogiebhillyogiebhill member
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    My mouth is WIDE OPEN!!!!!  Hugs coming you way.....and a frying pan if ya need it.   I like what you called him "wasband". It will work out sister. Keep your head up!
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    CaseynMikeCaseynMike
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    Soror I am so sorry all of this is happening. Dang on couyon is mad because you are happy. I will be praying for you and praying that your children will be able to be at your ceremony...they deserve to be there and you deserve to have them there!
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    Carla1019Carla1019
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    I'm so sorry! Do you think the kids could explain how excited they are and maybe he will realize that he is hurting them along with you? If he keeps them away it will back fire on him later on.

    Wedding date July 7, 2012
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    Strv2perfectionStrv2perfection
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    Wow sorry your going this this. He needs to grow up and stop acting so immature.
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    keyaira04keyaira04 member
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    Saying prayer for all involved.
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    island07b2bisland07b2b member
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    Gurl!!  He has lost his mind.  For real is that his rationale for why your daughters can't make it to your wedding?  What are your girls saying?  That is awful.   I sure hope he gets over himself because that is what this most likely is about.  You are right.  Bitterness and jealously will make you act like a fool!  Lawdy.  Praying for you sis. 



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    rsreesersreese member
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    Oh wow that is just LOW DOWN! I'm sorry he's being such a jerk. Prayerfully he will get his act together! I hate when grown folks drag children into their messy antics!!!
    ~almost Mrs. Reese~
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    MissusD1116MissusD1116 member
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    See! now that fool need the "Al Green!" I got some hot grits!!

    I so dislike this for you. What they dont understand is that its not about them at all. Why can't they just move the hell on! GET OVER IT ALREADY! You left him for a reason!

    I will keep ya'll in my prayers! What does Phil have to say about it?
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    FutureMzHaydenFutureMzHayden
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    Dang it all to hell... He gotta GROW up seriously!  I mean come on now but we will just continue to pray for him and you...hopefully the KIDS will let him know that YOUR day is important to you as well!!
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    lcrosterlcroster
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    I'll be praying for you.  We thought were going to have the same issue regarding FI daughter but something clicked and her mom decided to let her come with out any issue.  well she did try to start an argument but FI just let her talk and then said ok so can she come or what.  Just pray about it.  Maybe involve you soon to be husband )unless they aren't able to talk peacefully already) cause he may just need a good old man to man conversation about how it will make the kids feel not being able to be there. 
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    happe2getherhappe2gether member
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    Girl I SO understand where you are coming from with the WASband.  I mean I can't say I have that issue right now because he isn't even here from mine so it is literally a non-issue. But I am praying for you, especially since he is a DEACON!! That just burns me up even more! I would say let the kids talk to him but you know this has to be worked out between the adults...or just don't let them go with him that weekend. He want to be evil, you do the  same but don't let the kids get in it.  
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_help-me-jesus?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:43a886ae-cac4-4ec9-ad3d-72caa38767daPost:e7d55076-fbab-4939-9c06-38f156737045">Re: HELP ME JESUS!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Girl I SO understand where you are coming from with the WASband.  I mean I can't say I have that issue right now because he isn't even here from mine so it is literally a non-issue. But I am praying for you, especially since he is a DEACON!! That just burns me up even more! I would say let the kids talk to him but you know this has to be worked out between the adults...<strong>or just don't let them go with him that weekend. He want to be evil, you do the  same but don't let the kids get in it.  </strong>
    Posted by happe2gether[/QUOTE]

    LOL!  ok, see B what I WANT to say is that I'm staying prayerful.  That's what I<em> want </em>to say.   But since He ain't through with me yet, this came out first.   Seriously, even though I wholeheartedly cosign this or an idea very much like it lol, a man who thinks like that could nutup enough to show up and show out at the wedding so even though I would love it you fought fight fire with fire I'm hoping he does the right thing.   I don't know your specific situation but in my life I've encountered much the same thing and real talk? I think he's just trying to get a rise out of you, if he can see that it won't happen - like if you told him, okay, no problem pick up the kids - it'll occur to him that it didn't bother you after all and his sails will be flat outta wind.  {what i've found is that} with personalities like his , it's no fun fighting with somebody who isn't willing to fight back with you. KWIM?     If that doesn't work, yogie's cast iron skillet should buy us a couple of hours.
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    ejagersejagers
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    Awwww so sorry to hear this.  I'm praying for you, hun.
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    20pearls1620pearls16 member
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    Ok to give an update. I told my kids 12 boy, 13 girl what their dad said. My 19 year old doesn't count because she no longer has to abide by the court ordered custody agreement. My daughter wasn't trying to hear it and called the Wasband right away. She told him whatever plan he had for them she wasn't doing because she IS going to be in the wedding. After a long and drawn out argument with the 13 year old (which illistrates his mindset) he lays a guilt trip on her and says they can be in the wedding and he will go on vacation by himself. My daughter says no problem see you when you get back LOL. Mind you he is taking them to Disney in July so why would you make a big fuss about taking them again in August. I swear why put your kids through all that ish because you are bitter. God don't like ugly and he ain't too fond of cute either. He's only making himself look like a bigger a** to his children. Dummy.
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    MrsBoss2012MrsBoss2012
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    I'm glad they will be able to go to the wedding!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_help-me-jesus?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:43a886ae-cac4-4ec9-ad3d-72caa38767daPost:f89477f3-b7a3-4544-9740-98f55ca7093c">Re: HELP ME JESUS!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]he lays a guilt trip on her and says they can be in the wedding and he will go on vacation by himself. My daughter says <strong>no problem see you when you get back LOL</strong>.
    Posted by 20pearls16[/QUOTE]

    bwahahahahaha!!
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    MissusD1116MissusD1116 member
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    Thank the lord! See how he worked overnight!
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    brandidt84brandidt84 member
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    I'm glad everything worked out and that the kids will be able to go...
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    pearls687pearls687 member
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    Soror I was off the board yesterday and most of today, so when I read your post I was too through!!  I was glad to read on down and find out that things worked out for the good and that we're not going to have to get all the AAW sistahs together and set it off with your wasband after all.  It's a shame when kids have more sense than adults.  I know this just makes you even more thankful to be headed into a new life with your FI.  I'm glad things are back on track! 
    {Hugs}

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    mejai1mejai1
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    B, I was off the board yesterday too! I was TOO through and ready to go over with some of the PPs with both some hot grits AND a cast iron skillet. That is CRAZY! He needs to take his DEACON self and find a woman so he can stop tryin' to control things. MAN!! 

    Yay for your daughter standing up to him. Can't believe he would argue over this. It's really sad, but I am glad that prayer worked and He will continue to work it out for you!

    HUGS!
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    Strv2perfectionStrv2perfection
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    Glad everything worked out!
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    Carla1019Carla1019
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    I'm so happy to read your update! And kuddos to the kids for not letting their daddy act like a baby. God is soooo good!
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
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