Pre-wedding Parties

I love my mom but UGHHH!!!

Ok so my mom and sister are throwing us a shower. Well my mom wants to have what she calls a "Green Back Shower". Which I am uncomfterable  with that. You are practically asking for people to give you money.  I registered at target. Which I will let people know if they ask. I told her that I don't want to have that kind of shower and she seemed kind of hurt.  I am at my frustration point with all this.  :(


Just Venting THank you !
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Re: I love my mom but UGHHH!!!

  • A green back shower is completely inappropriate and you have every reason to feel uncomfortable.  If she insists on throwing you the shower, just decline the offer.  If your mom is in her 50s or older, she is probably ok with this shower because (according to my mom) it was commonplace back then.  However, she needs to realize that times have changed.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited April 2012
    I haven't heard that term in a long, long time. My mom tried to plan a surprise 'Greenback Shower' for us 30+ years ago. Several of my cousins had them, back in the 60s and 70s, in MA. She and my dad had given generous gifts and she thought it was time for 'payback.' I was so embarrassed when I found out. I told mom if those invitations go out with the word Greenback on them, my fi and I would not be attending. Mom was hurt, because that's how mom guilted us into doing things her way. I didn't budge. You shouldn't either. Asking for cash gifts is right up there at the top of the rude and tacky list.

    Good luck.

                       
  • My cousin just had something similar almost 2 years ago. We had to pay to go, well it was the price of our meal, and it was cash only gifts.  Which I understand they just bought a house and had everything, but I didn't go.  We have lived together for  7 years, and have 2 kids, but almost everything we have kitchen and even towels are all hand me downs. I am very greatful for the help when we moved out of my parents house 2 years ago, but if people want to buy gifts then why not  have a registry of things we are looking for ( like I REALLY REALLY REALLY want a stand mixer lol)  But I hope that didn't sound greedy, if no one buys anything I am just happy with them being at the shower celebrating with us :)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_i-love-my-mom-but-ughhh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:a71357a6-64c6-4da9-bac0-6b0a1dec7648Post:eb36e439-3d24-4967-b8a0-266e8726b42e">Re: I love my mom but UGHHH!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My cousin just had something similar almost 2 years ago. <strong>We had to pay to go</strong>, well it was the price of our meal, and it was cash only gifts.  Which I understand they just bought a house and had everything, but I didn't go.  We have lived together for  7 years, and have 2 kids, but almost everything we have kitchen and even towels are all hand me downs. I am very greatful for the help when we moved out of my parents house 2 years ago, but if people want to buy gifts then why not  have a registry of things we are looking for ( like I REALLY REALLY REALLY want a stand mixer lol)  But I hope that didn't sound greedy, <strong>if no one buys anything I am just happy with them being at the shower celebrating with us :)</strong>
    Posted by Bluegummiebears101108[/QUOTE]

    First bold:
    Oh Lord, was that one of those Jack and Jills? They seem to be popular in central Mass.  I love how people use parties like a fundraiser for their wedding.  I wouldn't have gone either.

    Second bold:
    That's the right attitude to have.  :)
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  • I can't tell my mom to not throw me a shower she is so excited. We did discuss it again and even though she doesn't agree, she will have a normal shower.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_i-love-my-mom-but-ughhh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:a71357a6-64c6-4da9-bac0-6b0a1dec7648Post:705accba-46a8-4221-9e54-1abe9d3fb8a4">Re: I love my mom but UGHHH!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I love my mom but UGHHH!!! : First bold: Oh Lord, was that one of those Jack and Jills? They seem to be popular in central Mass.  I love how people use parties like a fundraiser for their wedding.  I wouldn't have gone either. Second bold: That's the right attitude to have.  :)
    Posted by Osterizer[/QUOTE]

    <div>In Ontario a Jack & Jill, or Stag & doe as we call them here, is something entirely different from a bridal shower of any kind. A Stag & Doe is a fundraising party before the wedding, where people <strong>WILLINGLY </strong>buy tickets to attend, and then spend money on alcohol and games while they are there. They're usually open to the public, and a big deal around here.</div><div>
    </div><div>A greenback shower just sounds like having your hand out, and telling people that the gift they put thought and effort into isn't worth it.</div>
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