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dress for future MIL

ktharrington8ktharrington8 member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Ok so my future mother in law would like to wear the same dress she wore to her daughters wedding to mine. I couldn't remember what it was and said yah, sure if you want.  A few months later I was looking at photos and came upon the dress and realized it is an off white color. My dress is ivory. I was always under the assumption that the bride is the only one to wear white or any shade of white on her day. I'm conflicted with asking her nicely to wear something else or just not saying anything. Could I tell her what color my mom is wearing and ask her to base it off that? I dont want to hurt her feelings but I feel I'm the only one that should be walking down that aisle in white. 
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Re: dress for future MIL

  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You already told her she could wear it.  If she shows up in a white dress, she'll look like the fool.  Nobody will be confused about who the bride is.  If anything, they'll side-eye her for wearing white.

    You don't get to dictate what other adults wear.

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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Don't worry about being the only one walking down the aisle wearing white.  No one will mistake you FMIL for the bride.  I promise you that this is absolutely no bid deal and to you need to let it go.  You told her she could wear it so it's on you that you said yes if you couldn't remember the dress.

    The worst thing that will happen is FI's family sitting in the pews saying, "Oh look!  Marge is wearing the same dress she wore to Lisa's wedding!"

    Let this go, it is a waste of your time and energy.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dress-future-mil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:d2dc31b2-aa95-4f83-9f44-35b549f7566cPost:39f0c454-c603-4298-8eb7-8e679832c616">Re: dress for future MIL</a>:
    [QUOTE]You already told her she could wear it.  If she shows up in a white dress, she'll look like the fool.  Nobody will be confused about who the bride is.  If anything, they'll side-eye her for wearing white. You don't get to dictate what other adults wear.
    Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]

    This.  Don't stress about this at all...spending one more second worrying about this is a waste of your time.

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  • jmconley08jmconley08 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would mention politely to her that traditionally the bride only wears white/offwhite/ivory and you would appreciate it if she would wear something else, but tell her you understand if she won't. ((p.s. why would you want to wear the same dress to you daughter and sons wedding? I feel like that's weird))
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dress-future-mil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:d2dc31b2-aa95-4f83-9f44-35b549f7566cPost:2298b003-a440-419c-9992-e1ce1a1d80aa">Re: dress for future MIL</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would mention politely to her that traditionally the bride only wears white/offwhite/ivory and you would appreciate it if she would wear something else, but tell her you understand if she won't. ((p.s. why would you want to wear the same dress to you daughter and sons wedding? I feel like that's weird))
    Posted by jmconley08[/QUOTE]

    This is bad advice.

    1) You shouldn't go back on your word.

    2) It's not acceptable to tell a grown woman what to wear.

    3) Who cares if she's wearing the same dress?
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  • kaitlyn&henrykaitlyn&henry member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the majority of the posters...you have already given her permission. Going back now and saying you changed your mind would just make you look bad. Your FMIL will be the one that looks silly, trust me guests wont mistake you. everyone is looking at you...so try to not let it bother you :)
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  • ktharrington8ktharrington8 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Okay thanks ladies. I was leaning towards more or less just letting her wear the dress scince I did already tell her that she could. And I wasn't trying to "dictate" what adults should wear. I was always told that the mother of the groom follows what the mother of the bride wears. That is all. I know it wont bother me on the day of. Thanks to you ladies who responsed pleasntly to my post :) It is always appreciated and your words are better received! :)
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