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Kids and the Guest List Question

NinjasydneeNinjasydnee member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

Hi all. This is my first post here. I am working on my guest list for my wedding next June, and I know that I do not want young children at my wedding. However, there are some younger children in my family that I know to be well-behaved, so I would love for them to come to the wedding. The dilemma is this: there are some family members who we are inviting who have--to put it nicely--less than well-behaved children. Some of these children are older too (16 and 17). How can I get away with inviting some children and not others? Is that even okay?
Just looking for general opinions, because I'm really stumped.

Thanks!
-Sydnee

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Re: Kids and the Guest List Question

  • ahhhitsshannynahhhitsshannyn member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    You can do whatever you want, but there just may be some hurt feelings. Usually to help with these situations it is easiest to just make a clear cutoff- only family kids, only bridal party kids, out of town kids, etc.

    Like I said, you can of course do whatever you want, you just might run into that awkward conversation about why Uncle Joes kids were invited and not Uncle Bills.
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  • NinjasydneeNinjasydnee member
    First Comment
    Yeah, it is kindof tricky. I don't want to be offensive, but man some of those kids are awful! I guess I'll have to decide on some guideline and hope for the best. Maybe I can get creative enough to eliminate the potential headache. Thanks for the advice!
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  • MrsKathyCMrsKathyC
    1000 Comments First Anniversary
    I had the same dilemma before my wedding, there were a couple of ill-behaved kids on my H's side of the family that I didn't want there (ages 6 and 4).  Unfortunately, we couldn't exclude them.  Turns out, they behaved very well at our wedding.   Moral of story, they might just surprise you!
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  • MrsCourtney2UMrsCourtney2U member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    If they are all on the same level in terms of relation to you, then you can't exclude some and not all. Feelings will be hurt. Besides, kids will be kids and some of the best wedding stories I have heard involve kids doing something unexpected. If you don't want kids period, then don't have kids. But I would think it would come off as rude if you invite some and not others. Especially if you invite a wellbehaved 7 year old and excluded a not so well behaved 16 year old. HTH!
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  • lauraanne9lauraanne9 member
    100 Comments
    Make them ushers, ring bearers, bridesmaids, etc.  It is what I did to manage to invite ONLY the kids we wanted there (about 3) and not have to deal with the issues from other people, as saying "Only kids in the wedding are invited" is a pretty easy cut off.  It may mean you have 1000 ushers, but if it solves the issue.....
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  • not_bettynot_betty
    First Comment
    Adults don't get invited to weddings based on a blanket rule (ALL cousins, ALL college friends, ALL coworkers, etc.) so why should these types of rules apply to children? Invite the ones you want there and that's that. Yes, there might be some upset people, but the same thing applies to adults that might not have been invited, too.
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