"Courthouse" Wedding, Our Child

montanabounding · June 2012

Future Husband and I plan to have a ceremony in my hometown with a JP (unless I can find a rabbi who will agree to marry us). The only people who will be in attendance will be the two of us, our son (who will be six by that time), and my best friend and her husband (my MOH and de-facto Best Man). No family will be in attendance for personal reasons and we will not be having any sort of public shindig afterward. I don't mind elaborating, but it's a bit tl;dr for an initial post.

I've never been to a ceremony that was this private - will it be fairly quick? Should I plan for our son to have any sort of function in this besides standing there and looking cute - if so, what?

Thank you all very much for your time and suggestions.

montanabounding · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_courthouse-wedding-our-child?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:5c78b0ac-2ba2-4f6c-aa2a-00ed7880055fPost:1b321d70-b766-4a97-8be1-3ab10e8615a5">Re: "Courthouse" Wedding, Our Child</a>:
[QUOTE]Chances are that he/she will be able to adjust the ceremony to fit your wishes.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

While a religious ceremony would be a horse of a different color (it would be interfaith so already a bit difficult to achieve - but I'm exploring our possibilities), I didn't know if anyone had done or seen anything different with a non-religious ceremony. The only weddings I have attended have been of the traditional churchy style, although I was MOH for my father's outdoor wedding and just stood there with a baby bouquet while they spoke vows.

As we don't know who the JP would be at this time - we have some benchmarks we've set for ourselves that we need to meet before we can marry - we don't have one in particular who can be queried. (Such are the perks of a no-frills wedding, I suppose.)

Thank you so much. I've seen your advice elsewhere and you're always very helpful.

montanabounding · June 2012

Thank you for the UU/UM suggestion - my parents actually took advantage of that one. I don't believe we'll opt for that route unless we have no other option/can't find a JP. Our first choice would be either a rabbi (Reform, as they're the only ones who can perform interfaith marriages, and not all do) or a JP. It's more, "Hey, if we can go with the rabbi and it won't be too much of a struggle to make it happen, we'll do it."

But anyway - that's not for a bit, so we're assuming that we're going with a JP, unless we have a rabbi as an option (again, have to find one who will do it with little stress). I got to talk to our son about engagement today (got re-sized for Ring v2.0).

"What happens when you find a girl you love?"
"I get her a ring and I say WILL YOU MARRY ME!"

Good boy.

QueerFemme · June 2012

If you just get married at the courthouse, the ceremony will likely last about 10 minutes. the longest courthouse wedding I have seen was maybe 20 minutes, and that's because the people said their own vows... and they were crying through them so it took longer to get them out.

I think your son can just stand next to you. Or, maybe when it's time for the rings, Your MOH/Best Man can hand them to your son to hand to each of you, just to include him in the ceremony.

Lisa50 · June 2012

Standing there and looking cute is perfect! Enjoy.

ootmother2 · June 2012

It's very difficult to find a rabbi to officiate at a mixed marriage.

Try calling Wheaton College, they arranged a independent rabbi for a frien of mine.

GL

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