Hello everyone! I'm a bit new to these boards, as I just got engaged a few days ago (YAY!) but I've been on the Knot before when I thought the proposal was coming, hehe.
My fiance and I are trying to decide where we're going to have the wedding and had originally assumed we would just do it where we live now, which is San Diego, CA, even though most of our friends/family tend to be on the East coast. However, his father has emphysema and can't really travel great distances (either by car or plane), so we would have to do it in the Virginia/Washington, D.C. area to get him to go, and even then, there's no guarantee (and I hate to say this) that he'll still necessarily be alive then
He also isn't a big wedding person as he's been married 3 times, but would probably go anyway if it was close. He wants us to do what we want and not for anyone else though, and my fiance is somewhat okay with him not going.
However, my fiance's mother is also an issue. She has no problem traveling to the wedding... except for the fact that she couldn't pay for it. She wants us to have it where they live in Maine. If we did it in Virginia or San Diego, we would be responsible for paying for the flight, lodging, etc. (not sure how much, but probably most if not all) for her, her new husband, and her son (fiance's half-brother) if we wanted her to come. And obviously, not having any of his real close family would probably be very disappointing for my fiance.
So now I don't know what to do.... we would prefer to do it in San Diego for ease of planning and would have no problem going to Virginia at some point and celebrating with his dad by going out, but would still have to pay for his mom and such. We're not planning on having a big/expensive wedding as we'll be paying for it ourselves, I'm in graduate school, etc. Most of the other people probably would be able to go wherever we did it. But I know planning to have it anywhere on the East coast from California would be difficult, and I don't have a lot of time to fly to places to check things our nor people who would necessarilly be able to look at stuff for us (well, maybe on a very rare occasion,but that's it).
Any thoughts/ideas? Or, otherwise, any experience with this kind of thing and what happened? Thanks in advance and sorry it's so long!