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Christian Weddings

Lutheran Church Weddings?

Hi everyone, I grew up in a Lutheran church my whole life (and still attend one now).  My grandmother is very attached to it (and the pastor, kind of like in a 'what he says goes' type way).  My fiance did not grow up going to church very much and has no set beliefs.  I am excited about wedding planning and would like my pastor to officiate but I have begun to see that maybe HE would be making all the decisions (he already refused the song I wanted to walk in to). 
To avoid any further dispute (before I get to far into my planning) does anyone know the LCMS "rules" for wedding ceremonies?  If my wedding is altered to the point where I am unhappy about it I will need to find another officiant. 


Re: Lutheran Church Weddings?

  • Hi and welcome. I dont know the rules but hopefully someone on this board does.
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  • I don't know the 'rules' but to be honest, I would get another officient. The pastor who did mine was very open with what music we had and such, I even walked out to the Shrek song 'I'm A Believer'

    You need to decide how much you have your heart set on certain things you want, if you're not too bothered, then go with him, but if you want to be calling the shots, I'd find someone else :)

    Might be worth a google though.
  • It may not be the pastor's decision about what music is allowed.  I'd find out what your church's rules are - not just Lutheran churches in general, although that would be helpful.  See if they have any printed information about having weddings there.   

    We wed in an Episcopal church (the one DH grew up in).  They gave us a whole booklet about rules and requirements, including a long list of already approved music.  We were told that anything else would have to be approved. 
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  • I don't know that there are certain rules.I think that there are certain elements that are usually included such as scripture readings, declaration of intention, and prayers.  I grew up in the ELCA Lutheran church. My uncle is a Missouri synod pastor. I know from attending his church and other Missouri Synod churches that they can be a little more strict about things. If you really want certain songs or other elements in the wedding, I would try to find another minister who might work with you. It could be that no Missouri synod will allow it, but you can try.

    I am in a similar situation where I was brought up in the Lutheran church, but that my fiance is not very religious. We are not getting married in the church, but my pastor (he is now the bishop of our synod) that I grew up with is marrying us. We met with him ahead of time. There were certain elements that are standard in the weddings he does, but we were able to add a Wine box ceremony. 

    Good luck with trying to find the minister!
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  • It varies from church to church. Each pastor is at their own disgresion. there are no universal wedding "rules" for lutherans. Just keep it clean, and centred on Christ. 

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